Men are from Mars

Posted 05-31-2012 at 11:55 AM by Krista

Men and women are different. Now, hold on, I know you think that is a rather obvious statement, and while I’ve always been aware of that fact (growing up there were many references to the book Women are from Venus Men are from Mars) this weekend gave me a deeper understanding of the fact. As many of you know, I had a miscarriage in December, my first after giving birth to two healthy girls. Nothing could have prepared me for the bombarding of different emotions that I have gone through in such a short time: guilt, anger, sadness…just to name a few.

Now, my husband and I don’t exactly see eye to eye on this. At first, he wouldn’t even talk about our baby…and there were many times he insisted he didn’t even consider it to be a baby. I’d bonded with our little bean immediately. We weren’t trying to conceive, but I swear I knew the moment I conceived. I stopped taking birth control immediately, and was very excited about having a baby.

Well, as I said I miscarried in December, and here we are almost five months later and I am still writing about it. I still have my days where I get down in the dumps, days where I think about how far along I would be, days where I sit in my chair and do nothing but cry and eat chocolate. It seems that whereas I need to mourn, my husband just needs to

Diaper Swapers

Shaking Up Dinner, a Twist on BBQ

Posted 05-31-2012 at 11:23 AM by HollyRay

BBQ sandwiches are something of a summer staple. They are easy, they are tasty, and they are simple to make, add some potato salad and watermelon and you have yourself one awesome summer meal. As much as I like a good BBQ sandwich I think it’s time to mix it up by tweaking the same old staple of bread bun -meat with bbq sauce combo. Instead let’s try making fruit bread (cantaloupe or rhubarb) and root beer bbq and enjoying that for dinner. Here’s how it’s done.

BBQ

Ingredients

1 can of root beer

1 lb meat of choice

BBQ Sauce

1. Cook meat in crock pot with root beer, once cooked drain saving 1 cup of the root beer broth. Add broth and bbq sauce and cook for one hour more.

Sandwich Bread

Ingredients
3 eggs
3/4 cup applesauce
1 cup Truvia Baking Blend or Stevia
2 Cups peeled, seeded, and pureed cantaloupe or pureed rhubarb
3 cups flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon

1. Preheat oven to 325, grease two loaf pans
2. Throw everything into a bowl and mix well
3. Cook for 50 minutes

 

Better Things

Posted 05-30-2012 at 09:25 AM by Krista

Recently I posted about a possible move in our future. After much discussion and several tedious days of going over the pros and cons again and again, my husband decided to turn down the promotion he was offered. It would have required us to move, which is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, we would love better public schools for our girls, since they are nearing school age. On the other, we own a house and would have to spend a lot of money on fixing it up, and even so, the market being what it is right now there is no telling when or if it would sell.

Also, it would take him farther away from what he really wants to do, which is training and development, which is a passion of his. While the raise and position was significant, we decided it was best for us to stay where we’re at. Still, even though we both feel better now that the decision has been made, and we feel that it was the right decision for our family, there is always that bit of niggling doubt. If we weren’t meant to move, are we going to stay here forever, battling to get our kids into better schools? Will another promotion come around? If so, when?

The Hardest Thing

Posted 05-30-2012 at 08:28 AM by Krista

As a mother of two toddlers, I can definitely agree that parenting is hard! The temper tantrums, the power struggles, the messes to clean up…you know where I’m coming from. You know something else I could have just described? Marriage. And it is my belief that marriage is even harder than parenting. Who’s with me?

There is a reason for it, I believe, and it’s really quite simple: as a parent, at the end of the day, I’m in charge no matter how much my toddler thinks she is. I call the shots, and if my orders aren’t followed, well…there is some sort of consequence that follows. Who would like to hear his or her spouse say that about their relationship?!

None of us would, of course, and that is one reason of many that marriage is more complex. My husband is not the boss of me, nor am I of him. I can’t tell him what to do—well, scratch that. I can try but there is nothing I can do if he refuses, except maybe give him the silent treatment. Which in his mind is probably not a punishment!

For all the jokes about women being “secretly” in charge or the comic strips when a man “puts his foot down” marriages are often chock full of power struggles. We consider ourselves equals now, and usually each couple chooses what roles go to which spouse. If that works for you, great. If in your relationship the man or woman is in charge, great. Whatever works for your relationship is what you should do, without guilt or shame at what society would think.

My Inner Child

Posted 05-29-2012 at 04:06 PM by whitneywalters

I have always been a pretty serious person. My parents said even as a child I was the more serious out of my siblings. I liked to play but spent a large portion of my childhood reading. I was a very serious teenager and still am now as an adult. It is something I have had to work on as a mother.

My kids are six, four, two and ten months and love to play. My six year old is my only son, his favorite thing right now is playing with his Star Wars toys, playing video games or playing Go Fish. He usually does not ask me to play Star Wars, that is something he wants his daddy to do. He always says I am not doing it right. My husband is a Star Wars fanatic and can basically recite the movies while playing with Alexzander. My husband is just better at being silly then I am. Alexzander does want me to play other things with him, he loves playing Wii sports with me and we play several rounds of Go Fish a day. We always play a lot outside, I want him to know that I can be just as much fun as his dad.

My four year old daughter is very girly. Destiny loves to play princess dress up, tea party and baby dolls. She does ask me to play with her and I have had to make it more a priority to play with her more. She is just growing up so fast and I want to enjoy her childhood. She loves it when we have a tea party together, I often make real tea and snacks and she has a blast. I just love seeing her smile.

What LJ Taught Me

Posted 05-29-2012 at 03:59 PM by HollyRay

When I was a young teen I met a girl called LJ. We were in a play together, a musical, and we hit it off right away. She was the closest friend I had in my teens, even though I was homeschooled and she went to public school she still made time for me. When I look back on my teens I can’t help but think of her, and the lessons she taught me.

Be beautiful.

LJ was a beautiful teen, she wasn’t the conventional size, but she was by no means over-sized. While so many girls like that (cough ME) vainly flip through magazines praying to suddenly turn into a size zero, LJ was a constant beacon of inner beauty. Everyone loved her, because she was the kindest, most loving, radiant person there was. I saw LJ a few years ago, we were both in our early 20′s and she is still is beautiful, only now she has added a grace and poise that is reminiscent of the 1940′s. In short she still radiates love and kindness, she is simply the role model of the woman I want to be.

Be funny.

LJ has always had a sense of humor, there never was a shortage of jokes or laughter in her house. Even now that she is a wife and mother she still has a sense of humor and when a status she posts on facebook gets on my feed I usually have to chuckle at what she’s written. She is never crude with her humor, she is constantly joyful, and it seems that even in her dark moments she sees the lighter side of things.

Mama senses

Posted 05-25-2012 at 09:44 AM by whitneywalters

Ever had someone set off your mama senses? It happened to me when I was down town with my kids going to a local restaurant. A man stopped us and started talking to my kids. Everything in me was screaming something was not normal but I tried being nice. I let him talk to them for a little bit  but I could tell he was really focusing on my four year old daughter. He kept telling her she was so pretty, complimenting her hair and eyes but then he tried to touch her face. I stopped him and got the kids inside right way before he could do anything else. It really shook me up.

Hard Decisions

Posted 05-25-2012 at 06:43 AM by Krista

A few weeks ago an opportunity got mentioned to my husband, a chance to advance in the company that he works for. He applied for the job on Friday and got called for an interview after the weekend, on Tuesday. He said that it was the hardest interview of his life. We’re told that the job is very hard, stressful, and has a high turn over rate. While it should be a significant raise (emphasis on should. We won’t know until he is offered the job) it does mean a commute of an hour and a half one way. It could mean that he will have extensive travel.

I feel like we’re at a crossroads in our life right now, and we’re unsure of which path to take. His taking this job could mean an end to our plans for a third child, at least until we’re able to move. It could mean moving myself and my daughters into my in-laws home while we try to sell our house. It could mean months of being (practically) a single mother.

I Still Have my Gallbladder

Posted 05-25-2012 at 06:29 AM by HollyRay

Two years ago after the birth of my second child I started having horrible awful pains in my back, I was nauseated, I wanted to vomit on a regular basis (and forced myself to do so in order to relieve pressure), and I dropped my child twice because my arm went completely limp on random intervals without warning. I went to the doctor who figured it was just my body adjusting to no longer being pregnant, then went to the ER multiple times, and then back to a new doctor. The consensus was it was my gallbladder, my doctor said that it may just due to hormonal changes, and sent me on my way. Thanks doctor you were so helpful.

I ended up in the ER another time, followed by getting jaundice. I headed into the hospital looked at the nurse and said I have jaundice I want an appointment, she didn’t believe me. I took my glasses off and told her to look at my eyes, and she said they were yellow, and I said “I want an appointment with a doctor and I want it now”. It took more convincing to get an appointment, 3 tests and two doctors later it was confirmed I had jaundice, but they had no clue why. I was sent home, if my jaundice was bad in the morning they wanted to put me into surgery, to remove my gallbladder, which they weren’t sure was really the problem. I went home a little bit irritated and a lot disheartened, I didn’t want surgery, I wanted to keep breast feeding it was important to me that I get better for my daughter’s sake.

That night I drank two gallons of sugar free lemonade, i.e. very strong lemon water. The next morning my jaundice was disappearing, and a scan showed there were no blockages, and the only change since my last scan was in the last 2 months I had somehow gone from okay liver to fatty liver. My doctor said he wanted to remove my gallbladder, that the 60 lbs I had lost in the last 2 months was probably the reason for my fatty liver, but he thought it would relieve my pain to remove my gallbladder. I was armed to the teeth with information.

Financial Fitness

Posted 05-24-2012 at 09:45 AM by Krista

I have posted quite a few articles on here about physical fitness and now my husband and I are trying to get financially fit as well. I think a lot of the same rules apply. I didn’t really begin to get physically fit until I was literally sick and tired of being overweight. I was embarrassed that every time I did even a little exercise, I got winded and red faced. And you know, as the saying goes, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Only then did I begin to do something, starting with monitoring my calorie intake and then building up an exercise routine, increasing the intensity over
time.

I believe that financial fitness is much the same. You have to be sick of being broke, tired of debt, and ready to make a change. I have reached that point in my life. I am so exhausted living with the feeling that we have to live holding our breath until the next paycheck hits the account, in fear of over-drafting. There are times when it feels like there is no solution: if we keep more money in our account, our debt will never get paid off. It is a never ending cycle and I know I am not the only one caught up in it. Of course, when anything unexpected occurs, like an illness or a flat tire, we’re back to square one.