Exchanging ‘I Dos’ On a Budget

Posted 02-27-2013 at 03:10 PM by Krista

I have a friend that is engaged to be married. Since she and her husband-to-be want to try to conceive as soon as possible, the wedding is very soon. As in, July of this year. The problem with this seems to be…well, everything! She can’t find a location that fits her budget—or, should I say she can’t find anything that she likes within her budget. Ditto for wedding dresses.

Now, eight years ago when my husband and I exchanged vows we opted for the courthouse, for those very same reasons. It was simple and definitely cheap. However, we had no type of celebration afterwards, no guests at the ceremony, no flowers, no pictures. I regretted it for years. Most girls I know grow up dreaming of how their wedding day will be, and most of us dream of something special. For one day, we should get to have everything we want. I believe that, but unfortunately bank accounts don’t always comply. If I could turn back the clock, I would still go to the courthouse—but I would invite our friends and family to see us married, and have a kick-butt party afterward!

Why? Because realistically, two almost-adults couldn’t afford a nice wedding, especially since we weren’t receiving any outside help. My friend is in a similar situation, minus the almost-adult bit.

Like I said, it bothered me for years that we didn’t have a traditional, beautiful wedding, but I am older and wiser now. And you know what I realized? That the wedding is only one day of your life. Yes, a very special day, but just one day. The thing you should be the most worried about is all the days to follow that you’ll spend with your husband. That’s what’s really important.

Diaper Swapers

When it Rains…it Floods

Posted 02-25-2013 at 12:26 PM by Krista

It has been raining a lot in Montgomery. We’re talking torrential downpours. Normally, I wouldn’t be writing to give you all a weather report, except that the rain has brought one thing to light: we have foundation problems in our house.

Foundation problems! I have no idea what you do for it, or what can be done for it, except to hire an expert. What I do know is that anyone who hears we have one winces and says, “That is going to cost a lot of money to fix.” Great. Just what you want to hear.

I discovered it this evening when I was walking back to the living room and stepped into the water. At first, I thought the cause was my daughter, who we’re potty training. Then I realized it was about an inch of water, and well, her bladder isn’t that big! We had to move the large area rug we just got out of the house. I’m pretty upset about the whole thing.

It always seems that if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. I guess that’s just life, but I’d appreciate all the prayers I can get! Oh, and anyone who has any advice, we’ll take that too!

Changing Doctors: an update

Posted 02-25-2013 at 12:23 PM by Krista

As I mentioned in a previous post, I had an appointment with a new OBGYN today. Now, first I have to say this: while I do feel the time was right to change, that in doing so we increased our chances of getting pregnant by being proactive and seeing someone who will help us know what to do…I still felt like I was cheating on my previous OBGYN. He has seen me through two pregnancies, two deliveries, both healthy, happy little girls. I felt odd thinking I will not see his office, his quirky smile or soft, soft hands (hey! That is a valuable tool for a gynecologist to have, OK!) again.

OK, I admit it. I have always been that person, afraid of hurting other people’s feelings. Will my leaving break his heart? Doubtful. Will he even notice? Also doubtful. And I will definitely miss the sweet, friendly staff…

Still, even with all of that being said I had a wonderful appointment. My new doctor was very surprised that we hadn’t had any tests run yet after this amount of time TTC. He has ordered several to check my ovulation, my tubes, blood work to look at my PID…each question I asked he already had an action plan for. I feel like I can breathe a big sigh of relief—no, we’re not pregnant yet, but I am feeling a small bud of hope begin to bloom where I once felt like I had none left.

Get in the Mood

Posted 02-20-2013 at 01:24 PM by Krista

You know what my husband hates about making babies? Timed sex. I really think he cringes a bit when I tell him, breathless with excitement (or high pitched with anxiety, as the months go on without a positive pregnancy test) that tonight is the night. He says that it takes all the romance out of it.

Now, see, there is a complaint I never thought my husband would have. He has even been known to say to me before, in these sessions, “I feel like all you want me for is my body!” Since when is that an issue?!

Of course, the last time we had to “try” to get pregnant was with our first child, back in 2008. Since then, we didn’t seem to have any problem, and two pregnancies are the proof of that statement. Now, though… we are back to our old tricks of timed intercourse, first on the day of ovulation and then every other day.

Now, I am not going to lie, back in 2008 I was a completely different person. Shocker, huh? And I was, shall we say, less interested in sex. Certainly less interested than my husband. Now though….

Family Man or Work Oriented?

Posted 02-20-2013 at 01:19 PM by Krista

My husband has been working for the same company for over two years now, and he loves it. After college he began working for Enterprise Rent a Car. He loves it there, and has been promoted three times. He is now an assistant branch manager, and has applied for a small branch manager position that we will hear about next week. He has done well there, but with that said…

We were having a conversation the other day about how, typically, a man can either be work oriented or a family man. Rarely in the corporate world can he be both. At least, that’s how it seems to me. I always would have said that my husband was a family man, until beginning to work for Enterprise. Now, while it largely depends on who your boss is at the time, the company on the whole frowns on leaving early or taking days off for family business. In my opinion that means they discourage family men. Maybe it’s the same everywhere for men, I don’t know.

My husband disagreed with me that working there had made his less family oriented. Then, the very day after our conversation he had to take off work to go with our daughters to the doctor because I had an appointment myself that I could not reschedule. He was gone from work for approximately an hour. His boss told him that he had been taking off a “lot” lately. What, exactly, qualifies as a lot? Well, last week he took me to an appointment he really was concerned about…on his lunch hour! And last month he took a personal day because we were having foundation problems. That’s “a lot.”

Men and Fertility

Posted 02-19-2013 at 11:31 AM by Krista

With all this baby making talk, it’s natural that without proven knowledge that the woman is having problems, the doctor says the dreaded words: sperm analysis. Now, I don’t know what it is, but my husband gets antsy when he hears that. I guess a big part of it is male ego—surely, his little swimmers are just fine. More than fine, even: he just knows that they are champion egg seekers!

Now, I’m teasing just a bit, but there is no denying that when their own fertility is called into question most men become defensive. My doctor told me that while we were waiting for me to ovulate, at which point we would begin running tests to make sure my body was in prime baby making mode when it was supposed to be, we should have a semen analysis run on my husband. I immediately cringed, because we were given the same advice over five years ago when we first started on our baby making journey.

I knew how he felt about it then, so I assumed I knew how he felt about it now. I asked the doctor if we could delay that test until the ones he wanted to run on me were done. I saw the wisdom in what he was saying…if we could go ahead and get my husband’s semen analysis in, that would at least be one thing to look at, and after all there is just that one test for men—as far as I know—while there are dozens for women. Still, I wanted to preserve my husband’s feelings.

ABC Mouse

Posted 02-18-2013 at 09:49 AM by Krista

As I wrote about recently, I have been informed my newly turned four year old is behind her same age peers. While it initially was cause of a major freak out moment, since then I have been trying to move forward and do something about it. We have been doing worksheets at the house, but there is only so many times she can trace letters or count to ten before she gets bored.

My husband had actually recommended a program called ABC Mouse, but it wasn’t until a fellow mom of a four year old mentioned it that I decided to check it out. And boy am I glad I did! Unfortunately we are in a position right now where it would be difficult to afford preschool, not to mention that I’m not quite ready for my girls to start school. This program—so far—seems to be a pretty good compromise.

Cost-wise it is much better. It is $7.95 a month, and you get the first month free. I went ahead and signed up for the year, which was $54, giving me another four months free. You can design your own lesson plans, from subjects like math, reading, art, etc. Each kid designs their own avatar and when they finish each lesson correctly they earn tickets to buy things for their avatars or pets.

Joint or Seperate Bank Accounts

Posted 02-16-2013 at 08:32 PM by Krista

I was talking to a friend this evening, and she mentioned that she and her husband have a joint account and her friends think it’s odd that she doesn’t have her own account. I got to wondering who has a joint checking account—and do people you know think it’s odd? If you have separate accounts, was this an issue for you and your spouse?

To some people, it’s no big deal how you do the accounts. To others, not having a joint (or separate) accounts is linked to personal security and or/trust. So, I was curious what others have to say on the matter.

My husband and I have a joint account. The only account I have in my name only is an IRA, and I would have done that jointly if I could have. Why? Well, for one, I don’t work. Oh, wait, let me rephrase that: I don’t get paid for the work that I do. That hasn’t always been the case, but at least right now it doesn’t make any sense for me to open my own account. What would I put in it?

My Little Valentine

Posted 02-14-2013 at 12:00 PM by Krista

Now, thus far in my journey, I am the proud mother of two little girls. I have seen oh-so-cute shirts that declare the wearer Mommy’s Valentine, but of course, these tend to be outfits for little boys. And to me, it kind of makes sense for a little boy to give his Mommy a gift on Valentine’s Day. I have never given it much thought, and would have shrugged it off if I had. I don’t have a boy, and that’s just the way it is.

Well, apparently my four-year-old had put more thought into it than I have. We got a flyer in the mail a few days ago that had several pretty bouquets displayed. A enjoyed looking over them with me, and commenting on which ones people we knew would like (her grandmother and aunt, for example). I put it on the fridge, hoping to inspire my husband, and it seemed like every day A was taking it down to look at it. She had pointed out the one she wanted several times.

I made some passing comment about not being sure if her dad knew I wanted them…and lo and behold, my little girl took it upon herself to inform her Daddy of what I wanted. She said it like this: “I don’t have any money, Daddy. You have to get these for Mama, please.” I thought it was very, very cute.

Unbeknownst to me, she wasn’t convinced he was going to come through, so she used my cell phone to call her aunt (whose number she found by looking through my contacts, where people’s Facebook pictures are displayed) and tell her the same thing. I was unaware of any such arrangement between them, so boy was I surprised when her aunt came over today and woke A from her nap to give me a dozen red roses!

“She is so bossy,” I complained good-naturedly when her aunt told me the whole story.

Silence is not golden

Posted 02-12-2013 at 11:53 AM by whitneywalters

It was a pretty peaceful afternoon here in the Walter’s house. Alex and Destiny were working on their home work, Amelia was playing with her toys and Kairi was coloring at the kitchen table. Alex started a new section in his math book so I was helping him with it. It had been about ten minutes since Kairi came over to see what was going on and since I could not hear her, I went to check on her. Let’s just say I was a bit surprised at what I found.

Kairi had drug her small chair over to the counter, gotten the left over cake, brought it to the table and helped herself. She was covered in frosting and the small amount of cake that was left was destroyed. My camera was up on the counter so I was able to snap a picture to share with you all before sticking her in the bath. I had to run clean water after the inital washing because she turned the water red from all the frosting that was on her hands.

This is not the first time Kairi has done something like this either, sadly it is not the second, third or even fourth. Kairi loves making messes and she will do it ever chance she can. She has dumped almost an entire sack of flour on the floor while I was doing school with the other kids in another room and then played in it, spilled half a bag of rice and played in it while I was putting