You may remember that a few months back I wrote a blog about trying to come to terms with not having anymore children. My husband was dead set against having a fifth child after everything we went through having our youngest. Well, things have changed since then and there is a chance at a fifth now.
I have spent hours and hours reading everything I could get my hands on that talked about cholestasis. I read medical information and stories from other moms that had more children after dealing with this condition. Then I started showing my husband what I was finding. We had a really long talk and we decided that we may have another baby some day. He wants to find a local doctor to talk to that has dealt with this condition before and see what they say the risks are for us. If the doctor thinks we would be safe in trying to have another one then he would be okay with possibly having another child in a few years. We already know that the chances are pretty high that I would get the condition again but this time around we would at least have a doctor that has dealt with it previously.
We made the choice to not even talk to a doctor or try for another child until after our ten year anniversary. We want to be able to go on a child free trip. Our ten year is in three years and all the kids would be old enough at that time for me to feel comfortable leaving them with a family member. While it is hard to put that baby want on ice for a few years I know it will be worth it in the long run.
I do still have to remember that there is a chance that this fifth baby will not happen. If we get told the risks are just to high I will have to come to terms with it. I know I have four other children and my husband to think about also.