A Day in the Life
I wake up and my eyes widen as they catch sight of the clock: 8:34. I haven’t slept past seven in two months. What is going on? My first thought: what happened to the kids? I jump out of bed, race down the hall, only to see that my daughter’s door is already open. I’m leaping down the stairs two at a time, and I come to a halt at the bottom.
I have some vague memory of her trying to wake me, but for once, my mommy autopilot was shut off. And I will pay dearly for that extra sleep, because while I was enjoying some much needed rest, Ms. Alison had to keep herself entertained. It looks like she succeeded marvelously.
An entire bucket of formula is poured out onto the counter. She has sprayed water on the counter, and attempted to scrub the goo into the countertop using a Brillo pad. I might as well have flushed $30 down the drain, and I know I will have to work all day on that countertop.
She has pulled out the candy jar, and little pieces of golden foil form a trail leading into the living room. Her hands, face, and anything she has touched are smeared with chocolate. These include the computer, the phone, and every toy we have. Speaking of my computer, my monitor is now green, courtesy of her flair for art.
I take a couple of deep breaths to stop myself from screaming. Am I the only one who has these days? I feel like such an awful mom every time I think to myself I need a
break from my life. Or, worse still, When did this happen? When did my life turn into endless days of cleaning up poop stains and comforting crying children?
I feel like a traitor. My husband and I struggled to get pregnant, and I was so sure I would love each and every moment. I don’t. I was sure I would be able to wax poetic about everything, from the joys of potty training to their temper tantrums. I could try, but I doubt I would be successful.
Parenting can be so hard, so frustrating and unbelievably challenging. I ask myself every day if I am even doing it correctly, and I doubt I will have that answer for many, many years.
Sorry for the vent, ladies, but I chose to share this so that if there are others who feel like I do, that they can know they are not alone.
Thought I would also show you what I found at the end of the trail of destruction.
Yes, moments like this make it seem all worthwhile.
Lyric on July 26th, 2011 7:19 pm
I am right there with you momma you are not alone.
blairmarie333 on July 26th, 2011 7:38 pm
This is my life everyday except the brown stuff I have been clean from all over is not chocolate.
DD has decided she like to take her diaper off immediately after she poops. Such fun they are!
Krista on July 26th, 2011 8:18 pm
Thanks, ladies! And just so you know, blairmarie, I have had that same issue lately, except she is potty training. I don’t know if I could make it through it without other moms to commiserate with!
Cari on July 26th, 2011 8:24 pm
Krista, absolutely can relate and more so enjoyed reading your story, like a really good book I just couldnt stop reading! Well done!
blairmarie333 on July 26th, 2011 9:37 pm
I had to go out and buy all new clothes for her just to get this to stop. She now can only wear long pants with a onesie or full romper outfits that are long pants. Such fun!
amberdawn723 on July 26th, 2011 10:56 pm
I could have written this myself…..I do have these days…like almost every day!
wvgirl82 on July 26th, 2011 11:26 pm
Love it! I can only imagine the things my Fuss with get into!
MeCo7707 on July 26th, 2011 11:45 pm
Oh mama! Do we live the same life? So good to have someone just honestly say “this is hard”, even though we all know we love our babies so much. Thanks for the blog mama it rocked!
Blessed2005 on July 27th, 2011 8:41 am
Oh, how I needed to hear that. Thanks for sharing Mama!!!
kej on July 27th, 2011 12:10 pm
When these things happen, I think I can cry or laugh, and laughing usually wins out. I grab the camera, take some pics, send them to family and try to remember these days will not last.
admin on July 27th, 2011 3:40 pm
Loved your story.. Makes me feel as though I am not alone. Thank you for sharing.
Lucysmomma on July 27th, 2011 9:15 pm
You are not alone! Thanks so much for posting this and for your honesty. This hits home for me right now in a BIG way
Lilliannsmum on July 27th, 2011 11:11 pm
I’m right there too. I made the mistake of venting about it to my aunt the other day, and got a lecture about how blessed I am, and how many others would gladly be in my place… I’m like, yeah, I know, I struggled to get here, and I know some day, I’m going to miss it, but right now, in the thick of it, it sucks sometimes.
beaniesmom on July 28th, 2011 12:02 am
yep. some days i feel awful because i just feel tired of being a mommy. I feel bad just saying this is “public”! Thx for the story…made me smile.
Krista on July 28th, 2011 12:57 pm
Lilliannsmumm, I am so sorry that you had that experience. People should be more understanding and supportive. Sometimes we just need to vent! It keeps us sane.
Beaniesmom, I understand. I think we lose a lot of our identity to our children, and that can be hard to deal with.
threestraycats on July 29th, 2011 8:18 am
You are not alone!
The days are long but the years are short:hugs:
You are doing a great job!
admin on July 29th, 2011 10:23 am
I needed this today. I DID end up screaming – and then had to apologize for it. I have 4 and one is a colicky newborn. It’s been chaotic and there’s very few moments that I can get my newborn asleep and be able to put him down for any length of time. It never fails that someone has to come yelling or crying loudly to the room where I lay him or near the room and wakes him back up. That’s what happened this morning and I LOST IT. I would love to be able to do something with the other 3 while he sleeps but I can’t do that if they won’t LET him sleep in the first place!!.. gRRRRRRR
shouldbedoinglaundry on July 29th, 2011 6:33 pm
Thanks for sharing. I had an entire year where my son was throwing temper tantrums, crying and causing mischief about 70% of the time. I think God knew what he was doing when he created the need for a long afternoon nap in a small child. It’s a mother’s saving grace!
SENMom on July 30th, 2011 5:59 pm
LOL! That’s why God invented baby gates!
No, I hear ya. I was happy with just one child. Then my hubs asked if we could have another. I thought “I can handle this,” and then there were three…and my entire world fell apart. When I was pregnant with DS #3 I barely found the strength to get out of bed in the morning. I was so depressed. All I wanted to do was be ‘un’pregnant. Then he was born, and all he did was scream!
I feel like things are finally getting back to normal, but not for lack of trying to pull my hair out and screaming into pillows. Like you I feel like a traitor to motherhood. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but darn it if I’m not sick of the rain!
Mom2alittleboy on August 2nd, 2011 8:41 am
I needed this today! Thanks for sharing!!!
kristinco on August 3rd, 2011 9:40 am
Ah, thanks for sharing…you gave me a laugh. I particularly like the picture at the end
Tooshie on August 3rd, 2011 9:10 pm
A-men!! Thanks for sharing, I go through the same thought process.