You know when you’re in school, and you find that special friend and vow to be best friends forever? Depending on your age, you might have even worn friendship bracelets, or necklaces and signed your letter “BFFA” to cement the relationship. You promised that you’d go to the same college, and raise your kids together, and live happily ever after…
It’s funny, but I find that for a lot of women the best friend relationship is almost as important as the one they share with their spouse. And while the above statements may not fit your friendship exactly, I’m sure some of the sentiments were the same.
In elementary school I met a pretty, smart, sweet girl that was crazy about God. We were very close for a number of years—her family invited me along on trips and her dad even called introduced me to people as his “other daughter”. Then, as all friendships do, we slowly drifted apart. We were going to different schools, didn’t know any of the same people anymore, and had less in less in common. Phone calls became occasional, where we’d discuss whatever she’d called for, and then find we had nothing to say to one another.
This scenario is not at all uncommon. I’m sure some of you are nodding along in agreement as you read this. People grow apart. But for the longest time, I felt guilty over it. I tried to force the friendship back to where it had been—we both did—and it just didn’t work. I would worry over it, and wonder why things weren’t as they had been. What could I have done differently? Why couldn’t we have gone to college together, instead of, over the years losing touch completely?
Of course, the answer is simple. We’d become different people, and grown apart. For the longest time, this just wasn’t good enough for me. I was unsatisfied with my life, and the best times I remembered usually included her. I felt like if I could get her back, then my life would somehow shift into happier times.
What I ended up finding was a lot about myself. For example, I need female friendship. I need someone that I can confide in, who understands me and loves me. Yes, I adore my husband, but I need that close bond of female friendship. While my childhood best friend and I have reconnected on Facebook (of course, where else?) and I have closure about that relationship, she lives four hours away, and is single, and childless. We are at different points in our lives.
I guess one of the hard parts of growing up is admitting that things change, and sometimes it sucks.
So, what are your best friend stories?