Clomid: Round 3

Posted 08-2-2013 at 10:19 AM by Krista

I took Clomid the first time I was trying to get pregnant and was successful with it in the first month. I have been trying to conceive for eighteen months now, which shortly began after a miscarriage in December 2011. This month I will begin my third round of Clomid, and I have to be honest, with each passing cycle—heck, each passing day, even, and my hope drops. I can’t say why, exactly. The longer it takes to happen the more I believe that it never will.

Clomid makes me feel like crap, even on a good day. I didn’t remember this from the first time around, but then again, I wasn’t on it long enough and it was almost six years ago. I barely remember what kind of music I was into six years ago, you know? It makes me super tired all the time, which I remember from the progesterone I also took with my first pregnancy. It also makes me and my husband fight. It’s my fault, too, or the bloody Clomid’s. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster all the time.

The worst part is, it’s not working. Before I began taking Clomid I was told my progesterone should be between a 6 and a 12. When tested, mine showed up at 5.9. They put me on it anyway. The first cycle I was a 12 on the nose, so I thought we were good. Still, the doctor wanted to increase us to 100 milligrams. After cycle 2, I was a 0.9. Yes, you read that correctly. So, my Clomid for July is going to be 150 milligrams.

I feel like such a failure. I know that Clomid typically works within the first three months, so I feel like this is our last shot. I also know that increasing my dose is not going to do my marriage any favors. I have so much to be thankful for, and I am putting my body and my heart through physical and emotional hell. And for what? Nothing but a pale attempt to fill that hole in my heart where a baby should be.

Filed Under: Mommy Talk


One Response to “Clomid: Round 3”

  1. Ccb on December 10th, 2013 9:10 pm

    Have you considered using femara. It works much like clomid does, but works for people who have been unsuccessful with clomid. It also doesn’t have the half life that clomid has.

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