I started my parenting life as a disposable diaper gal. It was fast. It was easy to dispose of. They were easier for babysitters to work with. I got many well meaning comments. Did I know how many chemicals were in disposable diapers? Didn’t I know that they could cause cancer? Disposable diapers aren’t Earth friendly.
Later I switched to cloth diapers for the sake of my poor little guy’s rump. I thought for sure that the comments would end. No such luck. Didn’t I know that cloth diapers didn’t absorb as much and they would make my child uncomfortable? Diaper pails were unsanitary. I should just invest in some rash cream. I was going overboard.
I have often been forced to see both sides of a Mommy War concern due to the changing needs of my children. Here is what I have learned.
Good Moms Care About All Children
Yes, I admit there are some women out there who love to feel superior to others and do so by proclaiming their parenting techniques. Most women however, care about children. Not just their own children, but all children. They don’t want your little ones to have to deal with diaper rashes so they swear by whatever type of diaper they choose. They don’t want to see your child get sick so they either praise or denounce certain types of food, medical care, and children’s products. Why? Because they care. They don’t want any child ill or in discomfort. Give these moms the benefit of the doubt.
Mama Missionary Work
Most women don’t just keep their mouth shut when it comes to helping their friends. When it’s unsolicited help it can sometimes come across as judgmental. That isn’t the intent of most women, but it can leave bad feelings in friendships none the less. There are better times and places to add your two cents to a friend’s parenting skills. For example, you notice your friend’s little one has a rash and you feel cloth diapers would help clear this problem up. Wait for a moment between just the two of you and ask how long their little one has had rash problems. Be sympathetic and share your feelings, perhaps even offering them a trial run of a few of your cloth diapers. Whatever your friend answers, respect it.
Sometimes we get pulled into the Mommy Wars through no fault of our own. We are sitting there minding our own business, when someone decides they need to tell us what we are doing wrong with our children. At times like these it is good to turn the other cheek. Gracefully thank them for their opinion and let them know every child is different and though their technique may work great for their child, your technique is what works for your little one. If they persist, tell them it is an interesting concept and you will discuss it with your spouse. Try not to enter into an argument with these bold individuals. In the end, no one really wins.
How do you handle those “Mommy War” moments?