You know what I think marriages need more of, particularly mine? Sex. Yeah, that’s right, I said it. I’ll say it again, because I think it’s just that important: marriages need more sex. Now, first let me say that I do not believe sex is a cure-all or even the most important thing in a relationship. I definitely don’t think you can have a relationship based on sex alone—at least, not a lasting one. In fact, if any of my friends, let alone my husband knew I was writing this article they would be shocked. Typically I shy away from discussing sex and am not a fan of public displays of affection.
So, what has changed my mind? Well, as some of you know my husband and I recently separated. We are back together now and while I am still skeptical some things have changed. One of those “things” is me. For whatever reason, I am constantly affectionate and ready to go to the, um, bedroom. While sex has never been at the top of my list priority wise, that is slowly changing. For the first time in our relationship we are having sex with regularity.
It was never a matter of not being attracted to one another, but rather, we always seemed to choose the “wrong” time to initiate with the other person. Since we weren’t getting our needs met we would become irritated and even hostile toward the other person, which would only grow the longer we went without our needs being met. We both got used to handling it in other ways. Typically, J and I had sex maybe once or twice a month.
Now, am I saying we will keep doing it every day? No. But I am saying that now I realize the importance and its place within a healthy marriage. It is a great way to stay connected to your partner and feel more united as a couple. It can be great as a stress reliever, or just a way to have fun. The key is to keep your relationship as balanced as possible.