Feeling Conflicted
As another semester comes to an end I have to admit that there are days that I wonder if I will ever be done with school! Neither of my parents really insisted that I go to college…my dad, as a super cheap-o probably secretly hoped I wouldn’t. I married at the tender age of eighteen and began working while most of my friends were joining sororities and attending college parties.
Now, at the age of twenty-six with two kids while I know that I am not too old for college, my experience is definitely a different one. I will say this: school is much, much harder with two little ones around! I find that I clean up messes more than study, and often regret the time I miss with my kids because I’m at school. It is such a confusing time for me right now, because my husband and I want to expand our family. Yet, I get to wondering if I will ever manage to finish if we do that.
Currently (assuming I pass all my classes this semester, which I intend to do!) I have twenty one classes to go. Wow, that feels like an absolute eternity! Yet, if I have another child I will probably have to take a semester or two off, or at the very least lighten my class load. At the same time I don’t want to put off having a child and completing our family, and nor do I want to quit.
While I enjoy mommyhood very much there is a large part of me that just wants school to be over and done with so I have more time for the things I want to do! For all of you who are taking finals right now, good luck and keep with it!
Jenn_lynn9876 on May 23rd, 2012 5:45 am
Thanks for posting. I too have questioned going back to school, but I worry it will take too much time away from my LO. I can’t decided if it would be better to go back now while I only have one and he is only a year old or wait until he is in school his self, but by then I imagine we will have more kids so I am just not sure. However, it is nice to know there are others out there doing this. So thanks for your post.
averysydneymommy on May 23rd, 2012 8:40 am
I understand how you feel. I started a master’s program that should have taken 18 mos. but took me three years. I had a 2 year old when I started and had a baby halfway through the program. It seemed like it took an eternity to get through classes. I had lots of support from my husband and family, along with a lot of late nights–all while working full-time. I felt really guilty about not spending more time with my girls, but I kept telling myself that this was short lived and I would be better able to provide for them for the long term once my degree was finished.
Just keep in mind your goal. Is it to have a large family and stay home or is it to make a career decision. That should drive your schooling and your conscience about long-term goals.
mamabby on May 23rd, 2012 8:00 pm
I have a LO that is 9 months old and I am in graduate school. I have the same feelings as you described. I want to have another LO before I graduate next fall because I always wanted them to be close in age. I know that I just won’t have the time because of my classes and clinicals. I’m kind of stuck .. hang in there and good luck!