He Is Just Not That Into You

Posted 07-31-2012 at 11:12 AM by Krista

My best friend is talking to a guy right now…well, actually, the term talking wouldn’t apply. She is interested in him, he professes an interest in her, but rarely does he ever respond to her texts or Facebook messages. He is very attentive when they are together, but it seems that with him it is “out of sight, out of mind”. Again, I rely on his lack of communication to pass this judgment. As a woman, I rely very much on communication to assess a relationship. My friend feels the same way, and is often trying to figure out how he feels since she can never got a hold of him.

It reminds me of the movie “He’s Just Not That into You” (my friend definitely didn’t like the reference when I told her the movie title!) where a guy is giving one of the female leads advice. He tells her that if a guy is interested, he will find a way to talk to her. His advice was let him find you. Then you will know if he likes you, because he will find a way to show you. In this particular case, my friend feels that as nice as he may be when they are together because he doesn’t reach out to her when they’re not (she is the one who initiates the hanging out) he must not truly like her.

What do you guys think? Do we put too much emphasis on communication, or is this a legitimate issue? If he’s not calling you, is he just not that into you?

Filed Under: General


4 Responses to “He Is Just Not That Into You”

  1. Angel894 on July 31st, 2012 1:31 pm

    If he never tries to initiate contact, he isn’t interested enough.

  2. Magzziepoo12391 on August 1st, 2012 4:34 pm

    Tell her to give him a couple days, maybe a week, to try to get in contact with her, without her trying to get in contact with him. Maybe she’s just blowing up his phone too much. If he’s really interested, he’ll come around. Maybe he just has a life when he’s not with her and doesn’t spend every waking moment on his phone or checking Facebook. Just a thought. -shrug-

  3. three0h2 on August 1st, 2012 8:08 pm


  4. SRKDVMMOM on August 4th, 2012 9:28 am

    I had an ex-boyfriend, notice I said ex, that I had this problem with. I suspected the relationship had become entirely one sided- for similar reasons listed in the post above. I decided to stop initiating contact and make him prove our relationship mattered. An entire month went by with no word. I finally called him, mainly to officially end it. When I told him that it had been a month since we had had any contact, he seemed surprised and gave a shocked claim of ignorance. One of the easiest break ups ever as it was clearly over. I have not had any ‘what if’ moments about this guy either.
    I would tell your friend to stop initiating contact. If the guy wants to be with her, he will call. If not, move on.

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