I have mentioned in previous posts that my sister and I aren’t close. We are fourteen months apart, and as different as we possibly could be. I don’t think it happened that way on purpose, but there it is. I show hurt feelings by crying, or acting hurt, while she gets angry. I think carefully before speaking, especially on sensitive subjects, and she speaks her mind, even if it means hurting others. She says she doesn’t care—she’s just being real.
Now, maybe this picture I’ve painted makes her out to look like the bad guy, and I won’t deny that there have been moments I’ve felt like that. The truth is, we don’t ever really know another person, do we? How can we? Sometimes I think we barely know ourselves! Self-help books are evidence enough of that. And no, I’m not picking on anybody, I have my fair share of those sitting on my bookshelf.
What I mean is that I can only get as close to another person as they will allow. If they don’t let me in, I can’t possibly know for sure what they’re thinking. Another thing to admit is that I have judged my sister a lot in the past. We live completely different lifestyles, and while I won’t go in depth on that all I can say is that I live how I feel to be right, and she, I assume, does the same. I think there has been judgment on both sides, or assumed judgment, and hurt feelings. The thing is, I doubt she knows how very much she means to me.
I am making an effort to get closer to my sister, and I have been very gratified that she has returned those attempts. One thing I have learned is to make things better, you have to stop judging. Judgment changes your tone, your body language, everything. You may think it’s invisible, but somehow it’s always visible.