As wives we often talk about family and close friend problems, sooner or later someone says “I just learned I don’t say anything about XYZ, and just nod when I am hurt or offended.”
There is a reason that in-law jokes exist, because joining two people from different families can bite the big one. Sometimes your mom hates him, sometimes his dad thinks your fat and lazy, I know one woman who recently said she raised her sons to be independent and they could clean and do laundry so their wives were just wasted space as far as she was concerned.
I’ve noticed if a mama isn’t having a problem with a family member, it’s a friend. Friends who are passionate, friends you feel judged, friends who are uneducated or narrow minded. The truth is friendships are just as hard to maintain as family ties. With all this hardship more and more mama’s are choosing to just smile and nod their way through life.
I bring this up for a few reasons, first is that right? Should we skirt topics that offend? I’m conflicted. On one hand there is no reason to start a debate when it’s not needed, and if a subject is going to reduce a group of women to screaming cave people then maybe it’s not the best topic to broach. However, silence is the well meaning double sided coin, on one hand we have momentary peace on the other we don’t really move forward intellectually. Should we instead approach all topics with an open mind no matter how sure we are in our stance?
Then the second reason I bring this up, I have been told I should work hard to have a relationship with my mother in-law, that I should just make sure not to offend her, and my very existence offends her. When I asked what I could talk about the list was SHORT, I mean a 5 minute conversation would leave us sitting in silence for 3 minutes kind of short. Some friends and family are like this, so do we sit in silence? Do we care? Do we attempt not to offend them and instead let them walk all over us?
I’m sure there is a happy middle ground here. Ladies and gentlemen of Diaperswappers what do we do? Do you have less then an open relationship in order to have the resemblance of a relationship?