Kids Say the Darndest Things…
Why in our society do people—OK, mainly those of the male persuasion—find it funny to teach little kids bad words? I always vowed that I would not be “that mom” that allowed that to happen with my own kids. I know, I know—how we judge before we actually have children of our own!
Anyway, while I was taking college night classes my girls were left in the hands of my sweet husband. I never gave it a second thought—after all, he is their father, not a babysitter. I shouldn’t have to leave out instructions, right? Maybe there is one I should have left: do not teach our kids bad words for their body parts. I guess I thought it went without saying.
Nonetheless, one morning after waking up my daughter found me at the computer and pointed to her chest. I didn’t understand the word she was using, so I probably just nodded and smiled. Then, when she pointed to my chest and said it again, I stopped what I was doing and paid closer attention.
“What, honey?” I asked.
“Titties!” she exclaimed, gleeful at her new understanding of her body.
“What?” I repeated, feeling as though I was in a deep fog. Surely this conversation couldn’t be happening.
“Titties,” she repeated. “You titties, “ she said, pointing to my chest. “I have titties,” she said proudly, pointing her own flat tree-year-old chest.
It didn’t take thirty seconds for me to jump to the phone and call my husband. “WHAT have you been telling her?” I demanded.
“I didn’t know what else to call them,” he defended himself.
“Um, how about breasts?” I suggested. I was seething. It didn’t help that he was laughing. It certainly didn’t help that I had been on speakerphone and his entire office (full of men, naturally) were laughing. To me, a girl calling her body parts by those kinds of names is just a recipe for disaster. Maybe I overreacted, maybe I will laugh one day. Who knows? But for now I strongly believe that girls know the proper names for their body parts. I feel it protects them in the future.
Weigh in, Mamas. What is your take?
HollyRay on July 10th, 2012 1:15 pm
Meh, I call them, boobs or breasts, but sometimes when they are whining I just say “Ya know what tough titties!” my oldest then says…”only once you have a baby because that makes your boobs stronger”. If she is told the actual word I don’t think it will be that big of a deal, it’s when you get upset by the term that you run into scary territory in my mind. I know a mama who has SMACKED her child for saying “vagina” because it’s dirty and they call it “girl bits” instead.
abunchoflemons on July 10th, 2012 1:24 pm
I guess I like to use the real terms but they should know others 4 later in life….just like nicknames for different races & not good to use so they know & can educate those less educated…….I didn’t do that but called my moms boss mr. Stinky at a gathering.my niece said her daddy had a big p**is when we watched b4 we got married, her mom(sil) said her daughter was saying they had different body parts because mommy had hair & niece didn’t….hehe….others too so it is funny later but hard to do right then.
Laundry Lady on July 10th, 2012 7:00 pm
I’m a big fan of using the proper terms. But be aware that even the proper terms can be easily mispronounced. My daughter recently referred to her newborn brothers testicles as “tickles.” My daughter knows the term breast and is using it. She tells people that the baby drinks mommy milk from mommy’s breasts. It doesn’t bother me, or at least I don’t let it. My husband is a bit more squeemish regarding terms like vulva and vagina, but I’d rather her learn those too. Statistically, children who use the proper names of body parts are less likely to be molested and heaven forbid anything does happen, at least they can explain properly, leading to more successful prosecution.
CrazyForCloth on July 11th, 2012 10:17 am
I don’t meant to be rude, but I laughed when I read your conversation with your husband! lol. I think that there are worse words than titties. I have seen parents say four letter words in front of their kids. That I DO NOT agree with. I understand where you are coming from though. “Titties” is generally used in a demeaning way.
Blossom of Snow on July 11th, 2012 12:25 pm
When my daughter was born, my then 3 yo niece told me DD was in my uterus then came out of my vagina. I was shocked but impressed. She’d been asking about babies, and her mom also believes she should know the proper terms. Apparently it was a big deal for my niece as she was born by c-section. We’re PLing here so I’m teaching my DD the right terms too
omahonycm on July 11th, 2012 2:32 pm
We’re only just getting into that. We’re PLing too, and since I’m pregnant we got “pee” on the “potty” a LOT. She on hers, me on mine. At this point, I’m trying to be accurate and age appropriate. I say “mama’s hair” and say “wipe your bum” and will probably go with “privates” until she’s older. But I do think that she should know the proper names as well as gentler versions. Not looking forward to crossing those bridges when we get to them, but I do appreciate the opportunity to think about it ahead of time!
musicmom2x on July 12th, 2012 1:14 am
Heh- my Dad gets furious with me for not using the term ‘breasts’ when talking to my children. I wouldn’t say titties just because I think that is kindof vulgar, but wth is wrong with boobies?? Sounds friendlier to me. And we nurse. We aren’t prudes. A boob is a boob is a boob in my book. I would be more pissed that hubby had a good laugh at his daughters expense. He should be teaching her to respect her body and his behavior shows at the very least a lack of comfort with the female body. He has a daughter and a wife so I say he very much needs to get over that ASAP. just my (two cents)
tootsy_toes on July 12th, 2012 3:26 am
I have gotten upset with my DH for him teaching my boys to call their testes by vulgur names! I want them to know their proper names, but “pee-pee” or “ding ding” or some other mild nicknames are ok with me, too. My boys call breasts “nurses”, which I prefer at 3 and 6 because that is what they are designed for. I think the term “titties” is vulgur and to me “boobies” is walking a fine line. I am expecting a girl in October so I am interested to see what conversations emerge from diaper changes and breastfeeding. LOL!
sarahwinks on July 12th, 2012 10:50 am
Not as much now but one of my kids favorite all day long conversations was who they knew had a penis or ‘agina. Actually yesterday at the store she was telling me that she had ‘agina I had agina too and that lady I don;t know her’s name she has agina too and that bigger(plus sized) lady she gots to have agina too. People are getting to notice so I told her she knew that I knew that and that they certainly knew it too and that we could give it a rest for now. Fortunatly she did. I came from a prudish family so its important they know what is what so the games of Dr and what goes where will not be as big of a curiosity and get teased less too and politeness of not bothering someonelses privates as they get “too friendly” with siblings sometimes LOL
DMurfee on July 12th, 2012 3:27 pm
My 3 yr old DS decided to start asking questions in a restaurant bathroom. He said, “I have a penis but what you have?” So I quickly explained that girls have a vagina but it’s rude to talk about your boy parts or girl parts in front of people. He seemed satisfied with that and didn’t bring it up again until it was just our family around. Although he did feel the need to teach his cousin that “you have a penis but Aunt Leecie has a ba-gina.” LOL
qsefthuko on July 14th, 2012 7:15 pm
My husband wanted to use other words for the genital area. I told him if someone should do something to our children it would be easier to get a conviction if the children knew the proper names to use.
All was well. Our children learned proper words for all body parts. Then our son went to public school.
One day he came home from school with a story. According to him a boy in his class was hit in his coconuts. Apparently the current slang is no longer balls or nut but coconuts. He thought it was funny to go around talking about being hit in the coconuts. So much for proper words for body parts.
Shannon Williams on July 15th, 2012 11:22 am
I agree that “titties” is absolutely inappropriate to teach your child (and I would be pissed at my husband too). Just as it would be improper to teach them “cock” for penis, or the “c” word for vagina. Use the proper names people! What is wrong with breasts? Or boobs, even? They will learn all the other terms for body parts at school, or from tv or movies, or even overhearing them in conversation around your own house – but at least if you teach them the proper names, they have a fighting chance of explaining themselves of them, or a friend, is being molested. We deal with molested children thought my work place, and it is a hell of a lot easier for them to explain what has happened when they are not ashamed of the proper words for their genitals & private parts.
betsyb3 on July 16th, 2012 11:52 am
I call them “boobies” to my one year old son. (As in, gonna get your boobies- when tickling him). I use penis and I will use vagina (though since he doesn’t care about what I have so that one hasn’t come in to play just yet!), I guess boobies and/or titties could be considered vulgar. Mostly we just say nurse and sign milk…and that equals breasts to him.
Though that is totally something my DH would say, “I didn’t know what else to call it!” Ha, silly men