I came across this website recently, with a blog entry entitled “Marriage is for Losers.” I snickered a bit to myself, assuming that I knew what they meant. I based this assumption on the rise in divorce that our country has been seeing for years, coupled with a decrease in people getting married. If the marriage rate is declining but the divorce rate is getting higher that means that most couples end in divorce. It’s something we all know. So, marriage is for losers, right?
Wrong. That is what the article said, but not what they meant. They meant that to be happily married, you have to be a loser. What comes to mind when you think of a loser? The losing football team? A grown man living with his parents? Neither of these is what they were talking about.
Now, I don’t know about you, but after being married for nearly eight years my fighting style is best described as “fight to win.” To make it even worse, so is my husband’s! That means that a simple disagreement in our home can become a heated, escalated argument pretty quick. I’m not proud to admit that we have both said hurtful, unfair things to one another in the heat of anger. Often, we end up escalating, but neither of us ever “wins.”
It is my belief that the same can be said for divorce. There are definitely legitimate reasons for getting a divorce, but at the end of the day a divorce is about tearing a family apart. If you and I want to safeguard our families, we have to learn to be losers. That means not having to win every fight, knowing when to back down and how to compromise. If being a loser means keeping my family together, and happy, I’d say that’s better than winning any day!
In case you’re interested, the full link is: http://drkellyflanagan.com/2012/03/02/marriage-is-for-losers/