I really like the show “How I Met Your Mother,” and in one particular episode a few years ago Katy Perry made an appearance as a character who they simply called “Honey.” Honey wasn’t her name, but instead the response most people had to her. She was rather, naive, and whenever she spoke your reply would be “Oh Honey.” Since becoming a mother, I find that I so often repeat those two words in my head as I hear those without children and new mothers tell me how their future children will behave, or even funnier how my children will behave.
Here are some of the things I have had said to me, and my response to every one is “Oh honey.”
- My children will never draw on walls.
- My children will never leave their toys on the floor.
- Childbirth hurts worse then anything you could ever imagined.
- Why all the upset over vaccines, there is only like four of them.
- Your children ask too many questions, mine will never do that.
- If you don’t let your newborn cry it out within the first few weeks, she will be 12 and still needy.
- Because you haven’t started solids yet your baby is going to end up overweight.
- You know if you switched to formula your boobs wouldn’t end up so saggy.
Dear soon to be mamas, or new mamas, or mamas who simply don’t know. I adore your advice, it usually lights up my day, but I also feel bad for you. You who know everything about how I should raise my three children before you have even met yours, what you say is funny to me, because now that I have children I claim more ignorance on raising them then you claim knowledge. Dear mama, you will learn, and then we can say “Oh honey” together.