Recently my husband and I have separated. While I won’t go into all the details, I will say that I feel like I am a better person when I am not around him. It is something he has mentioned for years, that I act “nicer” around others. Maybe our significant others just know how to bring out the worst in us. Either way, our almost ten years together has been put on an indefinite hold.
I watch the girls during the day while he’s at work and his sister watches the girls for about a half hour until he gets home so that we won’t have to see each other. We talk on the phone once a day unless it’s an emergency.
It’s weird, going from constant contact to barely speaking. He has been the core part of my life for so long. I barely know who I am without him, and I think that is part of the problem. We are hoping to work this out and be together for another ten years but a part of me worries that in the end we might both be happier apart. I guess that wouldn’t hurt so badly if we didn’t have kids together.
It’s weird, though, because I have never been single as an adult. That’s right—my husband and I married when I was eighteen, and had been dating two years before that. I have no idea what I am doing, what I am supposed to be doing. Even though I don’t mean to, I find myself comparing every man I meet to the one I have been with for a large part of my life.