Single Again

Posted 06-26-2012 at 11:58 AM by Krista

Recently my husband and I have separated. While I won’t go into all the details, I will say that I feel like I am a better person when I am not around him. It is something he has mentioned for years, that I act “nicer” around others. Maybe our significant others just know how to bring out the worst in us. Either way, our almost ten years together has been put on an indefinite hold.

I watch the girls during the day while he’s at work and his sister watches the girls for about a half hour until he gets home so that we won’t have to see each other. We talk on the phone once a day unless it’s an emergency.

It’s weird, going from constant contact to barely speaking. He has been the core part of my life for so long. I barely know who I am without him, and I think that is part of the problem. We are hoping to work this out and be together for another ten years but a part of me worries that in the end we might both be happier apart. I guess that wouldn’t hurt so badly if we didn’t have kids together.

It’s weird, though, because I have never been single as an adult. That’s right—my husband and I married when I was eighteen, and had been dating two years before that. I have no idea what I am doing, what I am supposed to be doing. Even though I don’t mean to, I find myself comparing every man I meet to the one I have been with for a large part of my life.

Filed Under: General


7 Responses to “Single Again”

  1. agalanto on June 26th, 2012 2:11 pm

    I am so happy you posted this. My significant other and I were together for 8 years, have 2 youngsters together, and have recently split. It is totally weird and my “rebound” guy was worse than my new-ex.

    I don’t know how or where to meet guys and I haven’t had to meet anyone for over 10 years!! Thankfully, My children keep me busy and happy enough that I’m not focusing on myself tying to find a new man. I’m enjoying the time I have to pay attention to what I want to do and spend with my boys.

    However, I do miss the adult interaction, conversation, and intimacy that my partner sometimes provided for me. It will come back one day.. and when it does, it will be right this time.

  2. Kels5kids on June 26th, 2012 6:49 pm

    It’s scary.. My husband and I had been together for 17 yrs married 10 of those and just recently separated. I was 18 when 8 started dating him. I am not looking for anyone else and plan on investing my time with the kids. It seems awkward being single now.

  3. Krista on June 26th, 2012 9:20 pm

    Good for you! Thank you for reading and sharing your story. You will know when it is right. Good luck!

  4. Krista on June 26th, 2012 11:06 pm

    I can definitely get where you are coming from. Yes, I think it is both awkward and scary. I find myself asking friends, “Is that what single people think when I say/do this?” It’s weird because I honestly don’t know. Good luck!!

  5. F1Julie on June 27th, 2012 6:55 am

    Good luck with whatever you decide. I also married young (21) and had a baby at 22. We split up when our daughter was 13 months old. Divorce is hard. When you have kids, you will always have to be in each others lives. We had problems communicating when we were married and now we still have to work at that for the sake of our daughter. It’s a lot of work whether you are married or divorced.

  6. KailaMama on June 27th, 2012 7:19 am

    I’m divorced. My ex and I were together since we were 20. I’m just focusing on my girls right now. The rest will come later. Sometimes it’s lonely, but mostly I’m too busy with them.

  7. rickysgirl25 on July 1st, 2012 10:26 pm

    I too just separated from my Husband. We had been together for 10 years married for 7, I was 18 when we met. We have a two year old and recently got custody of our 13 year old niece. Our niece is staying with him and barely talks to me now. Our daughter and I are moving into a new place tomorrow and I am returning to the job I left when my daughter was born on July 9th. Hoping the best for you.

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