Starting Over

Posted 07-20-2012 at 11:25 AM by Krista

As some of you may have read, my husband and I recently split up. I told him I needed some time away, I needed to think things over. I did end up coming back after a short time. Part of the reason is that my girls need me. We split the days and nights, me watching them when he was at work and him taking the “night shift” so to speak. The problem was that my oldest, who has nightmares, would always call for me. I didn’t want her not to have me there.

Another reason is that we have been together a long, long time. That in itself is part of the problem. As a “child” bride in some sense of the word—I was eighteen when we said our vows—I have grown and matured. Neither of us is the same person. Sometimes, as a couple you grow together and sometimes you grow apart. Needless to say, in the case with my husband I believed us to have grown apart. What can you do to repair this? In my opinion that isn’t much.

You can talk about it, you can try to reconnect. I think talking is a very important aspect of keeping couples connected.

The way I am trying to view it is that my marriage is brand new. I am not thinking about things from the past and letting it bog me down. I am only taking the present into account. It’s amazing how brand new it does feel since I made that decision. I am just taking him as he is and trying to make it work. I know that we still might fail, we still might end up going our separate ways but I can only give it my best.

Filed Under: General


5 Responses to “Starting Over”

  1. Laundry Lady on July 20th, 2012 12:10 pm

    I highly recommend His Needs, Her Needs. It is a fantastic book that changed my marriage and transformed thousands of others. If you are looking to “restart” your marriage. His Needs, Her Needs will help you build a strong foundation.

  2. mommabullfrog on July 22nd, 2012 9:09 am

    My husband and I went through a similar stage (that lasted… three long years). We married when I was 19, and we are both completely different people now. What we both realized was that we needed to give ourselves a fair chance to see if we liked the new spouse we had, versus being sad at losing the one we had initially married. We both spent more time on ourselves. For me, that meant more reading, time with girlfriends, getting back in shape. For him, that meant guy time, alone time to write, swim, etc. We have much more “me” time now, where as we used to do EVERYTHING together. And it’s better this way. It could easily have gone the other way, but for us, we managed to fall in love again. Definitely go into it with an open mind and give your “new marriage” a chance to grow :)

  3. knibert on July 22nd, 2012 5:26 pm

    I am going to look that up. I need a ‘restart’ for sure. thanks for sharing.

  4. lauren_brooke on July 23rd, 2012 11:27 am

    We did the study Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage and loved it. We did it in our Sunday School class, and while our marriage is ok, it definitely helped us learn things about the other. We really enjoyed it!

  5. Krista on July 23rd, 2012 10:35 pm

    Thank you so much! So far things are great. I mean, he truly is a great guy. We are relearning and trying new things. *fingers crossed*

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