I was one of those newly pregnant women that knew exactly how I was going to raise my baby. I was only going to breastfeed my sweet little boy. At least that was the plan. The reality was much different. I found that my body did not agree with my plan as much as my brain did.
Early into motherhood (while still in the hospital in fact) I discovered that I was not producing enough milk to satisfy my baby’s needs. I had been told that I would know when my milk came in. I would feel it rushing to be dispensed. I never experienced this sensation.
Luckily for me I have almost always been a practical problem solver. I didn’t feel sad or guilty. I knew that I would find other ways to bond with my child. I sang to him, held him constantly, and always let him know he was loved. A year later I can’t get him to let go of me, so I must have succeeded to some degree there.
As for the milk portion of breastfeeding I was thankful to live in a day and age where there are other alternatives.
While I was unable to fully breast feed my baby, I was able to produce some milk and every drop of that went to him. Since I found strait breastfeeding to be problematic I would pump to make sure I retained as much milk as I could. I knew that I wasn’t making enough milk for even one whole feeding, but I figured that the nutrients that I did produce for him were better than none at all.