The Daddy Wars

Posted 10-12-2012 at 09:29 AM by Krista

Recently our family went to Disneyworld. It was the first time for the girls, who are 3 (almost four) and my baby that just turned two. It was a lot of fun, probably our best family vacation up to date. There were the expected tantrums, of course, and tired, cranky moments. The only thing I didn’t expect to go through was what I am now referring to as the Daddy Wars.

What are the Daddy Wars? I’m glad you asked. The Daddy Wars basically consist of both girls fighting over their dad, vying for his attention and wanting absolutely nothing to do with their poor mother, who watches in confusion as the tantrums begin when Daddy picks up one girl, and not the other. As this continues on, the confusion becomes, well, if you’re anything like me, a case of hurt feelings. During the majority of this vacation, neither of my children was interested in so much as holding my hand, and had to be practically bribed to sit next to me.

I spent a good amount of time with my mouth hanging open. I couldn’t believe my eyes as my two little girls morphed into yelling, screaming monsters fighting over my husband like he was the last M&M in the bag. While my husband quickly became annoyed at the attention he was receiving, I became lonely and yes, more than a little jealous.

From the moment I’d become pregnant, I’d been warned that I was carrying a “Daddy’s Girl.” I am not sure if this is really true for every little girl, but it certainly has become true for mine. And while it makes my husband groan and roll his eyes, when they want nothing to do with me I feel hurt and confused as to what I could have done wrong. Any other mothers out there been through this? What did you do?

Filed Under: General


4 Responses to “The Daddy Wars”

  1. qsefthuko on October 12th, 2012 11:48 am

    Not quite in the same boat but I do understand a bit. My first 2 were mamas babies. One boy one girl. They still are. Although they do occasionally prefer their father usually it is me they want. Our third was born 16 months ago. This time around not only did I want my husband more involved he wanted to be more involved. Now baby at times wants his daddy. He has even been content to go with him for a quick run to the store. My older ones wanted nothing to do with daddy until well past the toddler years. Since I was accustomed to this I have been unjustifiably jeolous of the time my youngest prefers his daddy. He is still a mama’s boy just not quite so thoroughly as my older kids were.

  2. mibarra on October 12th, 2012 1:02 pm

    My older has always been a Daddy’s Girl. As soon as daddy was home I may as well have been chopped liver as far as she was concerned. My younger is attached to me, almost literally. She wouldn’t even go to DH if I was there for the first year of her life. She’s gotten a lot better, but all things being equal she’d still rather have mommy. If my girls were both fighting over Daddy like that, I’d be thinking “Hallelujah, mama’s going shopping, have fun you guys!!” ;)

  3. A.Fred on October 14th, 2012 11:01 am

    My child tends to choose my MIL if she’s around. That pisses me off. But between my husband and I…little man normally picks me. But on the occasion that he *does* choose my husband I get a lil jealous..although nothing like the level I feel with my MIL..and *she* encouraged it. -_-

  4. Pixi6s on October 15th, 2012 10:53 am

    I’ve have read that this is normal and it’s something children go through. Usually its “phas-ish”. Honestly I can see being jealous but I would love for me son to go through a daddy phase. He has gone through mini ones (a few days), we are ttc and I would love for my husband to be able to help out more. This morning my son woke up early and I was downstairs exercising. I had to stop, go upstairs and literally just put the blanket back on my son and he was good. He wouldn’t let his dad do it. Then I went down and continued. ug.

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