I’ve been thinking a lot lately about having babies. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise, as my husband and I are trying to conceive. Each month I hope that this will be the month that I get to laugh and cry and rejoice, waving around that stick in the air that declares, with two pink lines, that we are finally pregnant. Of course, there are days when I wonder how much disappointment I can take before I give up.
I was thinking earlier about all the reasons doctors give you for why you aren’t conceiving. I have heard several:
“You should cut your caffeine intake if you want to get pregnant.”
“You should try to lose some weight if you want to get pregnant.”
“You need to cut out all alcohol if you want to get pregnant.”
“Your husband should make sure not to masturbate if you want to get pregnant.”
On and on it goes, not to mention all the old wives’ tales. Some encourage caffeine, at least for the spouse, saying that it causes sperm to move faster. Others believe that having intercourse on blue sheets will get you pregnant. And if we add science in there too there is just too many dos and don’ts to keep up with, let alone do.
I was thinking on it today, remembering when my first doctor told me to lose weight. I didn’t, and in fact was the same size when I got pregnant with each of my daughters. It reminded me that even though we often turn to them for their expertise, looking for answers, doctors just don’t know sometimes why a woman can’t get pregnant.
My goal is to one day be an adoption counselor and help other families who are trying to add to their families. Believe me, the irony isn’t lost on me.