Third Date Rule
I have been married to the same man for eight years. He is the first guy I ever really dated, the first guy who ever really kissed me (talking tongue here) or bought me flowers. He is the father of my children. If something ever happened between us that we couldn’t work out, or if he were to pass away (God forbid!) while I was still young, I truly worry about dating. It scares me. I never had much experience with it anyway, and I find that today it is a very scary thing.
I have talked to so many people who are single and trying to meet someone. What do you do? Church? The internet? Bars? I know all these things have been tried and are being tried. We all want someone to spend our life with. My husband and I have been hanging out with one such single guy, and he introduced me to a new concept, something that he calls the “Third Date Rule.”
Some of you may already know what I’m talking about. Of course, as a married woman I had no clue. The Third Date Rule is this: it is the expectation that the woman will, on the third date, have sex with her date. I was shocked when I heard this. I mean, I know sex has become a casual thing in our world today, but the third date? And in such a case what constitutes a date? And how does each person know the other person will go ahead with said rule?
Like I said, the dating world is a confusing, terrifying place to me. I’d love to hear your take on this!
Pixi6s on August 6th, 2012 1:15 pm
I’m in the same boat as you, been with the same man since 1999, not my first boyfriend but close, never really dated,Father of my child. Dating scares the crap out of me.
I think that this rule is ridiculous to expect and do you really want your children’s future mother to be giving it up that easily?
My rule of thumb was and still is, date for at least a few weeks (or months) but long enough to 1)think there is at least the possibility that s/he “the one” and 2)have at least have some idea that if you got accidentally pregnant that they are someone you could put up with forever — even if you choose not to raise the child together you will likely be attached.
KailaMama on August 6th, 2012 3:30 pm
Sure makes you think long and hard about accepting a third date. I think this is a ridiculous rule. When the time is right, it is right and not before. At this point in my life I’m not interested in spending time with someone who doesn’t respect me.
chandni3 on August 6th, 2012 4:46 pm
To me sex is about intimacy. If I’m not emotionally or mentally intimate with someone then why would I be physically. You can’t get to that place emotionally by the 3rd date. I also believe in waiting until marriage though too.
luvinmommy on August 6th, 2012 7:58 pm
Its just something that guys made up so that they could make women think that if they want to keep things moving along they have to go to bed by the third date.
Krista on August 6th, 2012 11:19 pm
All of those are good points! Glad to know I am not alone here! Thanks for reading, Mama!
Rdesonia on August 7th, 2012 9:12 am
The third date rule has been around for a long time. I can remember being told that in the late 90′s.
I never followed the rule!
I preferred the nobody buys a cow if the milk is free.
gingerpeachee on August 8th, 2012 12:02 pm
If something ever happens to my husband the guys in my town who believe in this “third date rule” are out of luck. I’ll get intimate with a guy when I’m ready and not before.