I know I am not alone when it comes to dealing with unwanted advice and parenting. There were days I just want to scream and tell people, “I did not ask for your advice, please back off.” Don’t get me wrong, I am all for asking for advice when it is needed. I love getting help from other parents but I hate it when someone basically forces their advice on you. If I do not ask for your advice, that means I do not need it.
I know that happened a lot when I was a first time mom. I was nineteen when my son was born and many people looked down on me for being so young. I had advice being thrown at me from all angles and it got even worse when my son ended up needing surgery. He had craniosynitosis and had to have major surgery when he was about five months old. It was devastating to me and it was made worse by people who assumed my age meant I did not know how to handle it. I am very grateful that my mom stepped in and told people they needed to back off.
While that event was the hardest to deal with for me, I had several other cases of unwanted advice. Several people freaked out when they found out we do not vaccinate and that we co-slept. They always had to tell us why it was a bad idea, I had people telling me to stop breastfeeding when I got pregnant with my second, Alex was only six months old at the time and there was no way I was going to wean him. I nursed him all the way through my pregnancy and 3 months afterwards. My second was a very demanding baby and I all kinds of suggestions given to me about what to do with her. I had people offer their advice when I started using cloth diapers and lots of it when they found out we planned on home schooling.
I am twenty five now and a mother of four. While I wish I could say that all the unwanted advice stopped, it hasn’t. I do not seem to get as much of it anymore but there are still a few people that are determined to prove they are right and I am wrong.
Overall I have learned to deal with it better and I am letting it slide. It used to upset me when I was younger but I came to a point that I knew the only thing I could do was let them talk and then just keep doing what I thought was right for my kids. They can give all the advice they want but I am the one that knows what to do for my family.