Who are you?

Posted 10-29-2012 at 10:08 AM by Heather8183

I think at some time, we all struggle with who we are.  While DH is a nit picker and notices every minute detail, I am a “whole picture” type of person.  So, most of the time, I take what I’m dealt and know that tomorrow’s another day.  It’s not very often that I sit down and really analyze who I am.  But with my mom’s death, and realizing that there’s basically a non-existent relationship with my dad, I’ve spent a lot of time soul searching and I’ve figure out a lot of stuff about myself.

I’m a giver.  Since I can remember, I’ve spent my money on other people.  I remember being probably 10, and having some money.  There was a single guy at our church with a baby, and you could obviously tell they weren’t well off.  I spent every bit of my money on stuff for that baby.  Another example, my dad’s girlfriend, whom I cannot stand, just had her daughter drop off 4 of her grandkids and leave them with nothing.  I went to Walmart and bought 2 booster seats for the youngest, so they would be safe.  Every vacation we ever went on when I was a child, I spent my money buying gifts for other people.  My heart is broken for the less fortunate, and those in need.

I hate confrontation.  I have never talked back to either of my parents until just a few weeks ago, at age 29.  I would rather suffer through, than to confront someone and tell them how I feel.  I hate being emotional, but I cry when I’m angry.  I don’t want people to think I’m weak so I keep it all in, and more often than not, I joke about it.

I love to laugh.  I am constantly making jokes, and I find myself absolutely hilarious.  Thankfully, most other people do as well.  Otherwise, it would just be awkward.  I’m the person that laughs at inappropriate times.  I know it’s wrong, but I really just can’t help it. Seeing someone fall (as long as they’re ok) or a fart in a quiet church set me off.  Sometimes I snort.  I was Valedictorian of my high school class, and voted most likely to succeed AND class clown.

I’m overweight and I have been my entire life, but I don’t have bad self esteem.  My weight isn’t indicative of my worth.  Sure, I’d love to be skinny, but my life doesn’t revolve around how much I weigh or what size clothes I wear.

Even though I try really hard, I don’t have a lot of patience.  I envy those parents that have 6 kids and the patience of a saint.  How is that even possible?!  I want things done how I want them done and when I want them done.  I don’t want to have to tell you 12 times how to do it, and I want it done the first time.

I love God, coffee, newborn cloth diapers, flip flops, fires on a cool fall evening, friends, family, my dogs, my husband, and my babies.  I hate socks, cats, people who lie, bugs, the fact that life is unfair, cancer, and real shoes.

I like to think that all this soul searching will eventually pay off.  Sometimes I discover stuff that I wish I could bury back down and never think of again.  Sometimes I discover stuff about myself that explains a lot about why I do what I do.

Who are YOU?

 

 

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