We all are aware that divorce is quite common. Not only is it common, but it is a booming business. My husband and I often remark to one another that the divorce bulletin boards (think, “199 divorce here! Call Now!) are getting cheaper. So, with all this divorce going on, have you ever wondered why? Here are the top reasons given that relationships end in divorce.
Gosh oh gosh! This couldn’t be more true! My parents argued frequently during my childhood, and this was always the number one reason. Most couple conflict centers around money. Separate accounts or joint? Either way you go, often one person spends more than the other, and that is bound to lead to resentment, especially when goals cannot be met or the account becomes overdrawn. This is not a particular issue in my relationship for the most part—although that has not always been the case—although my husband has commented from time to time how I “spend” all the money to the point where he can’t get a Coke if he wants to. The first point I’ll make is that by spending money, he means I am trying to pay down debt. While that is a valid thing, he is also right: he works hard, he should be able to buy a candy bar now and again if he feels like it. The bottom line when it comes down to finances—creating and maintaining a budget, and what debts to tackle is communication.
This can be from not having enough, to misunderstanding one another. I know that misunderstandings is at the top of the list for me and my hubby! The key here is to learn how to speak to one another. J and I have to take turns, allowing the other one to get out what they need to say—in a calm, rational manner—before responding. This is hard for us because we’re both interrupters, but so important! You also have to make sure to frequently communicate your feelings to one another to stay in the loop. It gets so much harder when you have kids, but it’s important to make time to reconnect.
Relationships Outside the Marriage
This can be your kids, in-laws or friends. To me, it can be hard to keep my husband in the number one spot that he deserves in my heart. Some women think kids come first, and I agree when it comes to their needs being met. However, it is essential that your husband has first dibs on your heart. You cannot let a relationship with another person come between the two of you. And in-laws…let’s not even touch that one!
Here is just a quick list. What do you ladies think I left off and why is it important? Looking forward to hearing from you!