I remember the first time I met the man who would be my husband. I wasn’t wearing my glasses (my mom always bought my glasses with the motto “the bigger, the better” in mind, so my lenses tended to be HUGE) because I was very self-conscious, and I knew people thought I looked better without them. The only problem was, I can barely see without them. Even at the age of sixteen, my eyes were bad enough to almost qualify me as being legally blind. That being the case, when I was introduced to J I could make out dark hair, a sexy smile, and the rest seemed to just blend in with what I knew of the rest of the male population.
Put another way, I fell in love with the sound of his voice. We talked for hours, and when I had to go he called me before I was out the door. Remembering those moments…when just thinking about him would make my heart race. I miss the moments when you’re first dating when he brings flowers to surprise you, or you stand in the mirror for hours trying to make sure you look “just right”.
Now, after nearly seven years of marriage and two kids later most of our “dates” are shopping trips to pick up groceries. Or if we do actually have a date lined up my husband says, “Where do you want to go?” I don’t know about you, but I miss the days when he actually planned things for us to do. For me that is part of the romance, the excitement, knowing that he has taken the time to plan a fun outing for us. These days I feel like I barely rate above Gears of War 3.
It’s tough keeping romance alive after kids. You know the old saying—we let ourselves go, or we’re stressed from long days at the home or the office. We just don’t have the time or energy to date. I try to be more physical—holding hands, rubbing his back, things like that. It helps him feel connected. If you’ve lost that loving feeling, try remembering the good old days when you were first together. What did he do that you loved? Think of some ways to bring those memories back to life and see if you can’t capture those moments together.