So, I have a wonderful almost 15 month old and I will graduate with my bachelors degree in may. We will be moving in a few months, but I've been thinking lately about having another child. I don't think I want the babies to be too far apart. I'm just nervous. When is the right time? When did you know?
03-20-2011, 06:04 PM
I think there are pros and cons to all kinds of child spacing decisions, and there isn't one right answer.
DH and I just both had the feeling that it was time, so we stopped preventing. I don't have any idea how it will go or how my DD will react to having a sibling, but we will get through it. :)
Just go with your gut!
03-20-2011, 06:09 PM
I know it is all a matter of personal preference really. I grew up with all of us 2 years apart and that is the going theme in our family. I am going to be trying to have my second kid when this one starts walking. I loved my siblings and being so close together. when we were younger, we didn't like it as much but now we share our life experience together and I love it.
03-20-2011, 08:26 PM
I was ready to start when DS was about 9 months old, but it took a couple months to convince DH. :giggle: After seeing other families with close children, he finally came around after DS turned a year old. It ended up taking us about 4 months to get pregnant, and this little one is due exactly a month after DS turns 2. I want all our children to be closer in age, so that they are playmates and hopefully close while growing up. I am only 22 months older than my brother and aside from the usual sibling arguing and fighting, we were really close in high school and I loved that.
I think it is different for everyone, just what feels right for your family!
03-21-2011, 12:21 PM
It's definitely your preference. For me, it was definitely age. I didn't want to continue having children after 35. I just made it. :D
My sibling and I were 2 1/2 years apart and we were not close at all, and barely talk to each other now even though we live in the same city. It's sad but other factors may have contributed to our relationship. I just don't buy the closely-spaced together children are close just because they are closer in age. DH's brother is 5 years older and they are very tight-knit--more so than me. He is also very close to his sibling who is 4 years younger.
DD and newborn child will be 20 months apart when s/he comes in Sept. We'll see how their relationship plays out but I didn't plan it so they can have a bond. I planned it because of my age. I hope they bond but I can't predict that.
03-21-2011, 07:38 PM
I agree I think it is largely prference... When my 3rd baby was born my 1st baby was still 2 but almost 3 so they were super close. I do love that they are all so close but it does come with it's challenges. Number 3 and 4 are 3 years apart and that was a nice managable gap for me but now number 4 and 5 will be 20mos apart and I am secretly dreading how much work it is going to be again lol
03-21-2011, 09:48 PM
I agree with all the PP's, you just have to see what works best for you and your family. My DH and I had a long discussion about it when my son was not quite one and we decided we were ready, but weren't sure if I was because my AF hadn't returned as I was still nursing. We were pretty surprised when I was pregnant one month later - guess my body just said ok, here we go again!
Good luck Mama - it can be a complicated decision for sure. Do what you feel is right and all the rest will work out :thumbsup:
03-22-2011, 02:00 AM
My girls are 22 months apart. It was hard in the begining but I got the hang of it and they are the best of friends. Now Im pregnant with #3 and there will be a 3 1/2 year gap between dd2 and this one. I wish hubby had told me sooner that he was ready for another child instead of waiting the 5 years we had planned and then having two more. I would have prefered a smaller gap so this baby doesnt always feel left out because his sisters are to old to relate to him and play well together.
This blog had a post on birth order and traditional child spacing. I think that the author is sometimes a little too blunt with her choice of wording, but I agree a lot with what she is saying and what the research says about the value of waiting 2 years before trying to have another child, for the sake of the future baby and mother's health.
It's hard for me, though, because I would love to be pregnant again right now. But, I'm trying to control myself and focus on being really healthy so that I can have another beautiful, healthy pregnancy and baby. I personally don't want to stack the odds against me just because I want to have another baby now. I can tell that my immune system isn't as strong as it was before she was born and breastfeeding, so I'm trying to work on that before getting pregnant again.
04-05-2011, 04:37 PM
My 2 boys are 22 months apart. I've thought a lot about the perfect spacing between children and I've come to the conclusion that there isn't one. All age gaps with have pros and cons so I think it's up to you and your DH to decide what is best for you. I also think moms just have that feeling of when it's right. Trust your gut and things will be great