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View Full Version : how to get others (ie grandparents) to respect certain wishes...


luvmybabes85
09-14-2011, 12:23 AM
Im getting rid of so much stuff and streamlining my home. I am also in the process of weeding out my children's plastic toys in favor of more natural wooden toys (which my youngest has mostly already). My question is,"how do I get other people (grandparents namely) to respect us when they are practically hoarders themselves and are always giving my dd all these lovely toys from the dollar store or their living room lol? Its both sets of grandparents but I'm not worried about mine as I know how to talk to them. I'm just afraid my in-laws might get hurt or take what I say in the wrong way! What's a good way of letting people know of our wishes for Christmas and birthdays and such?

****Great suggestions, thanks! Also, what do you do with all your children's finished crafts? I put them ALL in a huge tote and can't bring myself to throw more than a few away lol! And my dd does crafts every day lol!

Ready2Bmommy
09-14-2011, 05:34 AM
I just flat out tell my parents, but we have a relationship that makes it okay. Now as far as the inlaws, we just smile and I toss it as soon as a part is gone or ds isn't looking. They wouldn't understand I don't think so I just let it go.

pgkcb13
09-14-2011, 05:39 AM
I think this is where a lot of us get stuck. I just sent the moms an email, after talking to them both in person, encouraging gifts like savings bonds or zoo passes but also offering a wish list for each girl so that if they *have* to buy something at least it's something we can use (curriculum stuff for DD1, etc). Hopefully that'll work, but with grandparents you never know...

I'm also considering trying to get them to read simplicity parenting so that they have a better understanding of where I'm coming from...

TwoBoysAndAWeePrincess
09-14-2011, 06:17 AM
I just try to work into conversations how the kids have SO much stuff that is age appropriate, they still play with, etc. It seemed to finally click I guess bc at the boys' birthdays earlier this year they didn't get so many tiny, plastic things. So I took the indirect approach I guess, so I wouldn't hurt anyones feelings.

AniBee
09-14-2011, 06:26 AM
Our plan is to tell them that while they can always use books or clothes, our boys really don't need many toys & we already have as many as we want or need. IF they feel the need to buy them toys then those particular gifts can be opened at their homes & the toys must stay there to be played with when the kids go to visit.

I know this doesn't work for everyone as many families live far apart but our kids see their grandparents a lot, so it seemed like a happy solution for everyone.

Ready2Bmommy
09-14-2011, 07:13 AM
Ani- We do something sort of like that with my parents. Often when my mom buys something I say, "That's great, but it's staying here!" She doesn't mind. Now with DH's mom, we maybe visit them 2 times a year, so that doesn't really work.

iluvmyortiz1122
09-14-2011, 07:19 AM
I'm not a minimalist truly, but when it comes to kids stuff...!! My mil is he worst at shopping those dollar bins at target :/. Last year I just had to tell her no more toys. We are over capacity. Please do something educational, like books (at Christmas last year dd1 was 16mo), gc's for shoes/clothes, you know stuff we actually need. They got her a savings bond, toys (of course, I don't think shed be a mil if she didn't listen!), and clothes.
But my mil has an awful tendency to overbuy for my dd1...I agree with pp that the minute I can I throw that crap away. Lol!

jcalumna
09-14-2011, 07:19 AM
I would try the wish list, too! Amazon has an amazing wishlist where you can add items from different websites. Of course, it doesn't mean family won't buy other things, but at least it's a start!

TwoBoysAndAWeePrincess
09-14-2011, 08:03 AM
I just try to work into conversations how the kids have SO much stuff that is age appropriate, they still play with, etc. It seemed to finally click I guess bc at the boys' birthdays earlier this year they didn't get so many tiny, plastic things. So I took the indirect approach I guess, so I wouldn't hurt anyones feelings.

zandj
09-14-2011, 08:03 AM
do they ever ask for ideas or just buy? MIL always asks for ideas, so does SIL actually, last year I made an amazon list so they could see what P had been asking for and buy from that (which they did!) so they were all wooden, educational or quality toys, boardgames etc and items. This year I just sent an email w/ a bunch of links, helps that I'm running a toy co-op that MIL (and I!) wanted in on :giggle:

luvmybabes85
09-14-2011, 09:00 AM
do they ever ask for ideas or just buy? MIL always asks for ideas, so does SIL actually, last year I made an amazon list so they could see what P had been asking for and buy from that (which they did!) so they were all wooden, educational or quality toys, boardgames etc and items. This year I just sent an email w/ a bunch of links, helps that I'm running a toy co-op that MIL (and I!) wanted in on :giggle:

um usually just buy lol! My fil buys whatever's on sale and tons of it, and mil and sil buy mostly random stuff from the mall:yuck:. I think I will make the list in amazon and see how that fares this year (thanks for the great idea)! Oh and I'm in the process of joining your co-op:thumbsup:! Thanks everyone for such great ideas!

zandj
09-14-2011, 09:08 AM
um usually just buy lol! My fil buys whatever's on sale and tons of it, and mil and sil buy mostly random stuff from the mall:yuck:. I think I will make the list in amazon and see how that fares this year (thanks for the great idea)! Oh and I'm in the process of joining your co-op:thumbsup:! Thanks everyone for such great ideas!

well there goes your decluttering efforts :giggle:

luvmybabes85
09-14-2011, 09:20 AM
:giggle: I know huh? Well as I buy a new toy, I plan on getting rid of three :crossing fingers: lol!


UOTE=zandj;13749966]well there goes your decluttering efforts :giggle:[/QUOTE]

kej
09-14-2011, 09:27 AM
If you set the rules for them for toys, like for us one large, one small toy per child for Christmas, you can tell them that anything over that will be donated, and then you must donate it.

Yes, it might hurt feelings, but not respecting your wishes is just as bad.

pgkcb13
09-14-2011, 02:26 PM
well there goes your decluttering efforts :giggle:

Um, yeah, I'm desrperately trying to avoid your darn co-op! ;)

zandj
09-14-2011, 02:30 PM
Um, yeah, I'm desrperately trying to avoid your darn co-op! ;)

I see you have failed, never mind about replying lol

pgkcb13
09-15-2011, 05:04 AM
I see you have failed, never mind about replying lol

Haha, yeeeeeaaahhh... *sigh*