PDA

View Full Version : So who is planning on finding out the sex and who's not??


Christina
01-27-2012, 08:10 PM
I'm still debating. I had be set on not finding out but now I can find myself starting to cave. I have NOTHING for a baby, I gave away everything we had and I just feel like I could be more prepared knowing. And of course there is the part of me that really, really wants it to be a surprise.


So anyone else leaning towards not finding out?

And if you do want to find out the sex before hand what are your reasons?

:goodvibes:

myall4him2
01-27-2012, 08:22 PM
This is my last pregnancy, so part of me wants it to be a surprise, however, I'm a BIG planner. I want to have the clothes sorted, washed, room/bassinet decorated. So if we don't find out the sex I won't be able to plan.

Also, I dislike yellow/green gender neutral outfits, blankets, etc. so it would drive me nuts to get gifts like that. Silly, I know.

rosenfried2
01-27-2012, 08:36 PM
Ddc. We are going team green this time...possibly our last child. We will be having a homebirth and my reason to not find out is I want a surprise! We will have a shower after baby is here

With ds I needed to know to plan since I was working.

MrsD
01-27-2012, 09:07 PM
I'm planning on finding out! I'm just too darn impatient to wait! :giggle2:

Sent from my DROIDX that thinks it's smarter than me using DS Forum. Please excuse any typos!

pkaskaggs
01-27-2012, 09:56 PM
we loved not finding out with our 1st two. there is nothing better than giving birth and then finding out on your own if it's a boy or a girl. i will never forget that moment with each child. with this one, we want to find out this time. we think it would be fun for the older kids to know the gender and to start calling the baby by name.....plus being able to get down either the boy clothes or girl clothes and have them ready to go will be so nice.

i am also not a fan of all the yellow and green gender neutral stuff. with my 1st two, i bought a couple girl and boy outfits and had them ready and then when the baby came, people brought more clothes than we needed! :)

mkekaty
01-28-2012, 05:20 AM
My husband likes the surprise and I like knowing, so we've compromised and every other baby, we get to find out. So #2 we found out and #1, #3, we did not. With my first, I really thought he was a girl, my own intuition, and was really prepared to meet my daughter. Out came a boy and I was happy, but shocked and even said, wait...where's my daughter?? My second, we found out, and I felt like I really bonded with her and called her by her name and was ready when she was born. My 3rd, I didn't want to get too attached to the idea of boy or girl, lest I be wrong again, so I didn't really bond with baby in utero. He came out and it was exciting, but I think it would have been just as exciting knowing 20 weeks prior. I'm the type that I hate surprises and like to be prepared. I'm so excited to find out for this baby!!

crunchymom2b
01-28-2012, 06:26 AM
I love the idea of a surprise and that magic moment after birth, but I just can't do it. Baby doesn't feel "real" to me until I know if they're a boy or girl. I like being able to refer to them by name.

andyoly82
01-28-2012, 06:47 AM
I can't stand surprises or not knowing things. I feel so unprepared. We will find out this time but for number 3 and our last I'd like it to be a surprise!

FerventlyDreaming
01-28-2012, 07:28 AM
We will be finding out. No way I could wait and I will be plenty surprised at 15-20 weeks ;) I just like knowing!

jakeysmama
01-28-2012, 07:29 AM
We're finding out. DH could happily wait, but I can't. I love to plan and be prepared. Plus, I hate referring to the baby as 'it' rather then he or she. And I think it will help DS adjust/prepare to big brotherhood if we can tell him brother or sister (he really wants a sister!)

s2grace
01-28-2012, 07:45 AM
We didnt' find out for our first. It was a fun surprise. For our second I wanted to know so I could pull out the girl stuff or start looking for boy things. We'll find out with this one for the same reason. I like the idea of preparing and knowing what to have ready. I loved the surprise too but we'll still find out. :)

chach4
01-28-2012, 10:23 AM
I don't think we will be finding out. We didn't with the first. My husband was sure it was a girl but it sure wasn't. I have enough gender neutral stuff for the beginning (which I don't mind). Plus we probably have enough girl hand me downs to get by for a while too. To me, it is the most amazing suprise and it was so fun hearing "its a boy"

eguisgirl
01-28-2012, 10:32 AM
I figure it is a surprise at 20 weeks or a surprise at birth. :) Since we don't have anything because our kids are all older I am sure we will find out. Plus, I work L&D for part of my job so there is no way I could probably go past 16 weeks without a friend peeking with the ultrasound to look. LOL

chello
01-28-2012, 12:34 PM
I don't know. We found out with #1 but didn't tell, and didn't find out with #2 or #3. I kinda want to find out because this is probably our last, but if we find out DH wants to tell and I'm not sure I want to tell.

sonitaw
01-28-2012, 01:24 PM
We are going to find out, I want to know if I should get rid of all my daughter's clothes or keep them for this baby.

MommyKeller0107
01-28-2012, 02:08 PM
We will be attempting to find out. :goodvibes:

boogamama
01-28-2012, 02:11 PM
We'll be finding out if baby is boy or girl.

tazzae
01-28-2012, 02:11 PM
We will find out too. We have been trying for this baby :crossfingers: for over 5 years. For bonding and preparation it will help me to know. I also think dd would like to know. (We haven't told her about the pregnancy yet!).

LittleTadpoleDesigns
01-28-2012, 06:15 PM
Not a chance! :) The moment finding out at birth is the one thing that I remember with absolute clarity for each of my other, vastly different births. The feeling in that moment I honestly have not the words to describe... and we aren't planning another baby after this one so this might be the last time we get to experience that. I also love the camaraderie I always feel with the older generation of women who never had the option of knowing... I love how we are one of the only people we know that don't find out (and it always makes me grin that EVERYONE responds with "oh that's SO nice!")... and I LOVE how everyone just has to keep guessing and guessing, muhahaha!

We've got boy stuff and girl stuff and my favorite color is green. We hardly get any gifts at all before the baby comes anyway so I'm not in the least bit worried about that regardless. I can absolutely see how it can be nice and certainly more convenient to know ahead of time and I don't hold any ill will toward those who do find out... but that's just not for us. We just love not knowing. :)

Kelpagan
01-28-2012, 09:05 PM
We are going for the surprise this time! I'm so excited. I'm really happy we found out with DD, but so looking forward to the surprise this time!

crunchymom2b
01-29-2012, 07:32 AM
Andy, I hate surprises too! I also said that if this one is a girl and we're blessed with a third, then maybe, just maybe we'll wait. Just have to wait and see!

jemilyon
01-29-2012, 04:15 PM
We are finding out in 2 weeks!

I like to know bc then we pick out a name and I really enjoy preparing specifically for the gender as opposed to getting gn stuff.

It helps us bond and just gets the whole family prepared and more excited! :)

I go to my bf whos an us tech. Then I have it confirmed at the 20 wk us.

jemilyon
01-29-2012, 04:16 PM
we loved not finding out with our 1st two. there is nothing better than giving birth and then finding out on your own if it's a boy or a girl. i will never forget that moment with each child. with this one, we want to find out this time. we think it would be fun for the older kids to know the gender and to start calling the baby by name.....plus being able to get down either the boy clothes or girl clothes and have them ready to go will be so nice.

i am also not a fan of all the yellow and green gender neutral stuff. with my 1st two, i bought a couple girl and boy outfits and had them ready and then when the baby came, people brought more clothes than we needed! :)

This almost makes me change my mind!! ;)

amandajiggles
01-29-2012, 05:38 PM
Our 1st we didn't want to know but ended up HAVING to know because DD had a large cyst on her ovary that required monitoring and an operation at 3 months old. So we found out at 26 weeks, the tech at our 20 week scan couldn't tell us if she wanted to but THOUGHT that she didn't see boy parts. We were still unsure until the whole cyst thing.

This time, while I would LOVE the surprise, we want to know if it is a girl if it will happen again. They apparently NEVER catch these things in utero, we wouldn't have known until she was between 6-12 years old if it started causing her pain. So since it is partly an inherited condition and partly a hormonal issue we feel it's safest to know with this one too :( But that is really the ONLY one big surprise that you will get in your life. Nothing is that amazing in my opinion. I guess we just get to find out 20 weeks earlier!

aliciacsun
01-29-2012, 07:13 PM
We're undecided. We found out the first time, but not the second. That surprise really is something... but I also kind of like the idea of a gender reveal party, since we have family around this time. Yeah. Undecided.

mommato4kids
01-30-2012, 06:02 AM
We're not finding out. We didn't #1, #5 and now not with #6. We did with #2,3 and 4. The surprise is just so much fun!! This is probably our last and I just want to experience that excitement of not knowing and finding out after delivering!! With #5 we didn't find out and our first 4 were girls. I washed a few pink things but didn't have anything for a boy. It all worked out. So many people blessed us with boy clothes, socks, etc. The waiting didn't make me feel unprepared at all!

NorwexMa
01-30-2012, 10:15 AM
We didn't find out with the first two. We prolly won't either on this one, but this time I am leaning a lil more towards finding out. I don't really know why. With DD i was sure she was a boy, along with everyone else, but well, obviously she wasn't. Then with DS i was thinking he was a boy b/c the pregnancy was differnt, but I know they say all kids are differnt. I would totally be open to knowing the sex if problems arose, but if there are none, then I do like the surprise.

I also don't like GN clothes.

If we did find out the sex, I definitly wouldn't share it with anyone other than hubby. No offense to anyone, but I think it totally ruins the excitement of a new baby when everyone knows the sex, name, and date to be born.

jemilyon
01-30-2012, 10:21 AM
Man i totally respect all of you who can wait!!!

NorwexMa
01-30-2012, 10:26 AM
Oh, P.S.- I do look forward to seeing what everyone on the DDC's name choices are :-)

mommato4kids
01-30-2012, 10:30 AM
Oh, P.S.- I do look forward to seeing what everyone on the DDC's name choices are :-)

:yeahthat:

babyGmommy
01-30-2012, 10:51 AM
I am going to find out, we have for all 3 of our other babies. I thought about waiting, but I love planing and getting everything we need clothing ( I like buying a few seasons out if clearances are good )

Sent from my iPod touch using DS Forum

marthathecakelady
01-30-2012, 03:33 PM
My son wants a brother so badly. He will be crushed if the baby is a girl. He cried at the 20 wk ultrasound for my youngest DD. He said "It is supposed to be a boy," as tears ran down his little cheeks. So we will be finding out so we can deal with the pain and move on to excitement quickly and well before the baby is born.

I also get very set on what I am having. I do not want my "disappointment" to color the day of birth or make it hard for me to get bonded with a little one!

Christina
01-30-2012, 03:41 PM
I told DH last night that I'm definitely leaning towards finding out. I have my NT ultrasound on Thursday and I think I might have to talk to tech into trying to take a peak.

My reasoning is that I'm very sure this baby is a girl. I don't know why but I just have this feeling that I've gotten with all of my children and I've always been right. My fear is that I'll go this whole pregnancy thinking it's a girl and then at the birth it will end up being a boy. I know that I'll be slightly disappointed even if for a split second and then I'll be delighted with my baby. But I don't want to be disappointed at the birth that's not the place. So if I find out soon that it's a boy and not the girl I'm thinking it is then I will have time to let it sink in, for me to start calling him by his name and to start getting boy clothes together. So there, I guess I am finding out after all.

LittleThingsMama638
01-30-2012, 05:51 PM
I'm not sure what we're doing. We found out with our other 2, and I'm a planner so I naturally want to find out. But we're not sure if this is our last or not and I would like to go the surprise route once as well, and since we have one of each we already have clothes. Plus I like the idea of our surprise baby being a surprise. I'm just not sure I can not know. I am also worried about gender disappointment and what would that would be like a surprise baby, and I love to shop clearance sales which you can't do when you don't know what baby is. Plus MIL told me our other kids aren't special since we found out what they are, and told me I can't find out what this baby is... which makes me want to find out even more. But if we did find out we wouldn't tell anyone else, so at that point...why even find out? :headscratch: I don't know, I've very indecisive can you tell?

sandyj21
01-31-2012, 04:03 AM
We will not find out. We have waited on 7 now and number 8 will be just as exciting. What I like is when the DOC lets my DH tell me the gender. A few have done that.

Sandra

HeatherDanae
01-31-2012, 05:58 AM
I keep going back and forth about it. We have found out the gender with each one of our other children, and I have always wondered what it would be like to find out at birth. However I am a BIG planner, especially when I get to that nesting phase, and I don't know if I can handle having 2 bins out (boy and girl) and not being able to get the dresser ready with the appropriate clothing. Sounds insignificant, I know. But I also think it would be really exciting to take 2 welcome home outfits to the hospital. So I'm still undecided. My hubby wants to find out. So I have to be pretty strong about not wanting to to try to convince him. We'll see. :)

pkaskaggs
01-31-2012, 06:30 AM
when i was pregnant with my son (we didn't find out), we bought this (http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=70177&vid=1&pid=905898&scid=905898002) little gap PJ set in white and then 1 pink and 1 blue hat. gap is pricy but they have THE softest sleepwear. it's worth it :)

dckismet
01-31-2012, 12:45 PM
I soo cannot wait to find out, though I am already certain this time it's a boy. My girls, 3 and 5, have both said it's a boy too. I would love to be surprised with finding out it's really a girl.

I found with my first pregnancy that I was able to bond much more strongly once I knew sure sure the gender. It somehow took "it" from being an "it" and made "it" into a person -- somehow a more real human being who I could picture, think about concretely and fall in love with earlier.

Momof6girlz
02-02-2012, 02:38 PM
I have 5 girls already sooo I HAVE to know!! It would kill me not to find out!! lol

jemilyon
02-02-2012, 03:52 PM
I have 5 girls already sooo I HAVE to know!! It would kill me not to find out!! lol

:rofl: !!!!

My3Sons
02-03-2012, 06:57 PM
I also have to know, we have four boys and are so excited to see what this baby is!

LittleTadpoleDesigns
02-04-2012, 10:20 AM
For those of you who have all the same (all boys or all girls)... I would find it a LOT harder not finding out!! It would just be too exciting to know if you are getting the "other" one! :)

... mind you, I think I'd still try really hard to keep it secret from everyone else. Not sure that would be possible... but would be fun to try! :)

bellasmommy3
02-06-2012, 01:59 PM
I'm definitely not finding out. Last time I wanted it to be a surprise and the doctor had checked anyways and wrote it on my paperwork, so my midwives "knew" what I was having. When my daughter came out they didn't believe me when I said its a girl because the ultrasound had said boy. This time around my husband wants to find out but that's super scary to me because what if we had found out last time and bought a bunch of boy stuff??? plus the its a girl moment is awesome! id leave it to surprise

alliecatn1
02-09-2012, 12:03 PM
As of right now, we're not going to find out. I already have a full closet of boy clothes and girl clothes as well as gender specific gear :blush: We tried for so long for this baby and we would pick up random clearance sales, eventually it added up! Lol (that's pretty embarrassing!). I feel okay with having full gear for both genders because we plan on having a bigger family... I'm bound to have at least one of each, right?! I have full bedding sets for each ($8 Target clearance!) and the decals we are putting up in the nursery work for both genders.

I feel like if we were ever going to have a surprise, this would be the pregnancy for it. We'll probably find out with the rest. I also feel like being the weird one out (team green, birthing center and cloth diapers) sort of keeps me special in the crowd (5 babies due within 4 months in DH's family). Another horrible reason... I am picky about baby clothes and I don't want a baby shower filled with things my baby will never wear (I know, it sounds so bad!!!). This way I will get things I actually need.

The only reason I have considered finding out, as some of you have touched on, is bonding. I want so badly to be really bonded to this baby. Hearing the heartbeat helps, but sometimes it still doesn't feel real. I'm hoping that feeling the baby move and seeing an us (20 weeks) will help. If it doesn't, we may find out, but I'm really hoping to strongly bond during pregnancy without knowing. Time will tell!

girlichick
02-09-2012, 12:14 PM
We found out with 1 and 2, and we were surprised with our third (sooooo hard, I ended up having 5 sonos with her!). We found out with number four, and I am glad that we knew since we lost her. We found out at 18 weeks and gave her a name, bought her some clothes, and got to talk to her and get a feel for who she was. Since that was the only time we had to know her, I am glad that we found out. We will be finding out again. They are going to send us in around 16/17 weeks so hopefully we will be able to tell then? I am excited to find out. Based on my symptoms I think girl, but would totally love another boy. Either one would be fine, I just want them to get here!

LittleTadpoleDesigns
02-09-2012, 12:58 PM
Just something I thought of when thinking about bonding... I think bonding before 20 weeks is harder anyway. I never really feel that "connection" with the baby until I can start to see and feel movement externally. That's when I can share it with my husband and it becomes more real to me. Even feeling movement myself is surreal until that point. Not suggesting that knowing the gender being something to help with bonding isn't a valid point... just saying that in either case you may not feel a tangible bond with the baby in the first half of pregnancy so you may develop more of a bond after 20 weeks whether you find out the gender or not... That's my experience at least. Another way of looking at it I guess.

alliecatn1
02-09-2012, 01:59 PM
Just something I thought of when thinking about bonding... I think bonding before 20 weeks is harder anyway. I never really feel that "connection" with the baby until I can start to see and feel movement externally. That's when I can share it with my husband and it becomes more real to me. Even feeling movement myself is surreal until that point. Not suggesting that knowing the gender being something to help with bonding isn't a valid point... just saying that in either case you may not feel a tangible bond with the baby in the first half of pregnancy so you may develop more of a bond after 20 weeks whether you find out the gender or not... That's my experience at least. Another way of looking at it I guess.

I'm glad to hear that!!

badmisterkitty
02-20-2012, 12:17 PM
I know this is an old thread, but I just now took the time to read thru it! I'm amazed at the mamas who have the ability to WAIT!

I felt like I was pregnant FOREVER with my 1st, waiting so patiently to meet her, not knowing she was a she. I pushed for an eternity and finally motivated myself enough to finish by remembering that I DIDN'T know yet.

We found out with #2 and will definitely find out with #3 now. We sold all of our baby gear and most fo the little baby clothes, so I'm going to need some time to get things together again, especially if we change things up with a boy.

averinriansmeme
02-23-2012, 11:36 AM
I am finding out.My appt is on March 8th I hate not knowing! I did a intelligender? test and it said Boy so we shall see. I think it is right though.

wordbox
02-23-2012, 03:07 PM
We will not find out. We have waited on 7 now and number 8 will be just as exciting. What I like is when the DOC lets my DH tell me the gender. A few have done that.

Sandra

Yup, that was one of the things I remember so clearly. Being in that moment, having my husband tell me it was a boy... it was just awesome.

Just something I thought of when thinking about bonding... I think bonding before 20 weeks is harder anyway. I never really feel that "connection" with the baby until I can start to see and feel movement externally. That's when I can share it with my husband and it becomes more real to me. Even feeling movement myself is surreal until that point. Not suggesting that knowing the gender being something to help with bonding isn't a valid point... just saying that in either case you may not feel a tangible bond with the baby in the first half of pregnancy so you may develop more of a bond after 20 weeks whether you find out the gender or not... That's my experience at least. Another way of looking at it I guess.

I totally agree. I was able to bond with our first no problem, without finding out the sex. I don't feel much connection yet to this baby (at 16 weeks) but now that I'm showing more and starting to feel movement, I'm starting to feel... attached. Plus I think you still "meet" your baby at birth no matter what. Knowing the sex doesn't take that away either. The baby is still a bit of a stranger no matter what. :)

Oh, and I think you can still be a planner and not find out. I overplan life, make ridiculous lists, etc. and still felt very prepared for our son. We had some gender neutral clothes and other things (which is awesome because they'll be reused with this baby no matter what) but were bombarded with boyish gifts before we even left the hospital, haha. Babies don't need their whole wardrobe purchased before birth.

So if you don't want to find out, but are worried about planning or bonding, don't be!

javabean66
03-20-2012, 08:58 AM
I'm defiantly finding out... it's hard to shop for new baby w/o knowing the sex... not too many gender neutral things out there now-a-days IMHO

Can't hardly wait, only 2 more weeks before I find out!

s2grace
03-20-2012, 09:29 AM
We are! Friday afternoon! I can't wait as our huge consignment sale is Saturday! Plus hubby is thrilled at the thought of getting rid of the 7 boxes of girl things in the attic if it's a boy!

bruenderbaby
03-20-2012, 01:18 PM
I am not finding out. This is #3 of being a surprise, and I love it. Plus, I don't want everything we get to be blue or pink, I like a variety of colors. Evgen with #2, who I really wanted to be a boy, it was so exciting to find out right after I had pushed him out!


I'm still debating. I had be set on not finding out but now I can find myself starting to cave. I have NOTHING for a baby, I gave away everything we had and I just feel like I could be more prepared knowing. And of course there is the part of me that really, really wants it to be a surprise.


So anyone else leaning towards not finding out?

And if you do want to find out the sex before hand what are your reasons?

:goodvibes:

I posted a thread of the top ten reasons for be on Team Green. You should take a look! It is all meant to be fun, but there are some good reasons in there too. :thumbsup:

We're finding out. DH could happily wait, but I can't. I love to plan and be prepared. Plus, I hate referring to the baby as 'it' rather then he or she. And I think it will help DS adjust/prepare to big brotherhood if we can tell him brother or sister (he really wants a sister!)

We find a cute nickname to call the baby until he or she is born. That way there is no 'it'. :) Our first was Squirt, our second was Munchkin (and Pumpkin, because he was due around Thanksgiving), and this one is Halfpint.

Missyme
03-25-2012, 08:48 AM
We found out Wed the 14th, we are having a boy!! so excited now DH's famly name will go on, the pressure is off us and now on too my poor boy in years to come

1healthylady
03-27-2012, 08:41 AM
We will be surprised. Ever since I was little I always wanted #1 to be a surprise, but the rest we can find out. It took some convincing on DH's part, but since we already have names picked out for both and we like the brown/green (not so much yellow) color scheme, he's letting me have my wish this time. My intuition says boy, but we'll see in about 5 months!

alliecatn1
03-27-2012, 10:41 AM
We will be surprised. Ever since I was little I always wanted #1 to be a surprise, but the rest we can find out. It took some convincing on DH's part, but since we already have names picked out for both and we like the brown/green (not so much yellow) color scheme, he's letting me have my wish this time. My intuition says boy, but we'll see in about 5 months!

Are you my twin?! Ditto to literally everything you said :-)