Home or hospital for VBAC? Does length of time between births matter for that?

[Harmony96]

Had a premature c-section in late November, low transverse incision, closed with a single layer (though I repeatedly requested a double layer). Delivering doctor told me in recovery (and confirmed at my 6-week follow-up) that I should have no problem delivering vaginally in the future.

I've had two prior vaginal deliveries, so I know full well my body is capable. I've found a supportive OB and will be seeing her for any future pregnancies. My DD was born in a hospital and DS was born at home. I want to have another homebirth, and my midwife will attend a HBAC. (ETA: The OB that I'll be seeing is supportive of a homebirth, if it's at least 18 months after the previous birth.)

The hospital where my OB is at is 40 minutes away, but we're hopefully moving to a house later this summer that is RIGHT BEHIND a different hospital. Like, I can almost see it from the backyard, and it would take about 10 minutes or less to walk there.

I'm really torn. I don't know if I should try for a HBAC or just go to the hospital. Or what if I try for a homebirth and have to transfer just to the local hospital where nobody knows me?

Would the length of time between births matter? My midwife said 15 months is the minimum she recommends, and this OB said 18 months to allow the scar to fully heal.

I just don't know. :(

Of course, it's possible that none of these questions will matter at all. First, I'd have to get pregnant, and who knows if that would even happen.

[BBBmOm]

Even with a period length of time between, I would be weary of a HVBAC. I am an avid VBAC supporter, but would want it to be closely monitored. That is just my opinion though.
Glad to see you back momma :)

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

[eljube112]

I had a successful HBAC 21 months after my first emergency c-sec. I had another successful hbac just shy of 18 months after that.

the reasons for your c-sec were not those for a "usual" c-sec, kwim? If you make it to full term, you've had 2 successful vag deliveries under your belt (including one at home), chances are a hbac would be just fine.

[Willow's_lilmama]

Personally I would not take the chance with a HBAC, just too many things that could go wrong for me to be comfortable...

[Harmony96]

Bump

[jac1976]

I was told at least 18 months between deliveries if I wanted to attempt a VBAC.

I think what you do depends on the comfort level you have with being treated by strangers. My DS was an emergency c/s and for me, I didn't even think about the fact that I had never met the doc or nurses before. I was so focused on my DS that nothing else mattered.

I have a very close friend who has had two successful HBACs and now says she wouldn't do it any other way. I wouldn't try it, but I am a worry wort.

[Mamatoabunch]

I've had 9 HBAC. My birth after my c/s was 20 months later, at home. We have always lived 35-50 minutes from any hospital. Never did back up OB. Two of my HBAC were 12 months and 3 days apart. Actually, my last 8 HBAC were UC.

[lyterae]

My midwife prefers 18 months between c-section and VBAC. My first was a c-section for FTP (malpositioning, baby couldn't descend).

We chose to have our second at home, for many reasons, but one of the most prominent ones was that I was afraid that hospital interventions would simply lead to another c-section. My kids are 5 years apart, we live 20 minutes from the closest hospital and our midwife was over an hour away.

[crunch!910]

I'm in this position. Part of me stresses over all the stupid hospital policies, and if I think really long and hard about having to fight off nurses, it makes me anxious and wish I could stay at home.

I could have chosen home birth and blown our tax return to pay it. But I didn't. As stubborn as I was before I was pregnant that any future baby would be born at home, something told me that I should just make the long drive to a more natural birth friendly hospital. I just didn't feel comfortable with the licensed, certified homebirth midwife I interviewed.

Logically when I think about it, even if the uterine rupture rate is 0.6%... SOMEONE has to make up that small percentage. I've always thought of myself as an unlucky person, so in the case it did happen to me, I'd want to be at a hospital.

But I was very, very, very picky. I found a wonderful midwife group overseen by a doctor that is very pro natural birth. Much of what was in my birth plan was also in their introduction booklet describing the way they prefer to care for patients. Because I'm a VBAC, I'm supposed to agree to wireless continuous fetal monitoring (the belts - water proof and give you mobility) and a hep lock. I guess we'll see what kind of mood and what I feel like letting them do to me when I get to the hospital. They can't kick me out if I refuse. :p Because I very carefully chose a midwife group that have negative feelings towards induction/pitocin, I'm not concerned with unnecessary interventions ordered by my care providers. My only stress about a hospital birth is fighting off nurses, and honestly, that won't be my job. That will be DH's job.

Another deciding factor for me was that if I planned a HBAC but needed to transfer, I did NOT want to go to any local hospital. I also didn't want to have to be treated by a doctor I've never met in a hospital I know nothing about with policies I don't agree with. So, in the end, ... I'm very at ease with my decision to choose and plan a VBAC in a hospital.

[Harmony96]

After a few emails to my local ICAN group, I've almost changed my mind. I don't want to have any more kids. Ever.

I'm heartbroken about my broken body, which will never be able to do what it was supposed to again. I'd rather just give up now and get all my grief over with at once, then move on with the two kids I have, and try to be my best for them.

[songbird516]

I'm sorry that you feel that way right now, Andrea! You really need more time, though.

I live super close to a hospital also, and I would absolutely attempt a VBAC at home living that close. But for now, try not to think about it too much, and focus on your family and your health- physically, mentally, and spiritually.

My mom lost twins at 26 weeks and then went on to have 3 healthy children. Your body isn't broken, but it does need time to heal. Even if you did decide to have a repeat c-section in the future, it wouldn't mean that you are a failure or that your body is broken, just that your circumstances changed, as they often do in life.

[averysmom]

I waited 2yrs after my c/s and then had trouble getting pregnant so it made dd1 and dd2 4 1/2 years apart. I also went with a midwife and had a HBAC and I'm planning my 2nd HBAC in Sept. In your situation I would probably try and do dual care and then once I got past about 35weeks completely go with the midwife and have another home birth. I know several of the local hospitals have different policies on VBAC. :)

[Mama2McKenna]

I had a hospital VBAC in feb 09, 29mos after my c/s. Though I was successful in my VBAC, I was not successful in my labor. I had a very long labor, and stress was put on the fact that my water had broken and baby's heart rate fluctuated. 2 things that I do not feel were a concern. I ended up getting an epi because I was so stressed about the idea of ending in a c/s.
My next (whenever it happens) will be at home.

[Sally's Red Meadow]

I recommend home. my Vba2c took place about 20 months after the c-section. So we did not have 18 months between the surgery and getting pg which is what one midwife had wanted. But it worked out great because we had a great midwife and our homebirth was successful.

[doulamomma]

After a few emails to my local ICAN group, I've almost changed my mind. I don't want to have any more kids. Ever.

I'm heartbroken about my broken body, which will never be able to do what it was supposed to again. I'd rather just give up now and get all my grief over with at once, then move on with the two kids I have, and try to be my best for them.

then you need to find a different ican group! your body is NOT by any means broken. there is no logical reason why you could not have a vbac. I would recommend a hbac, because you are more likely to get a truly supportive caregiver. I've had drs say they are supportive of xyz, until it came down to time to actually follow through. I actually had one dr who told a mom early in pregnancy that she could vag delivery twins when I know for a fact it is against hospital regs and they do NOT allow it. of course as she neared full term they started throwing all kinds of bs reasons at her for why she needed a section. anyways... sorry for the rant lol maternity care in my area sucks and it gets me heated :blush: also, me personally, I couldn't go back to the hospital after having home births (unless absolutely med necessary)

[mabelinoad]

then you need to find a different ican group! your body is NOT by any means broken. there is no logical reason why you could not have a vbac. I would recommend a hbac, because you are more likely to get a truly supportive caregiver.

:werd:

you CAN do it!! I will be having a VBA2C in July, 3 years from my last peanut to the day almost.

IMO, i'd wait about a year then actively TTC. you CAN do it, mama! You absolutely can! And like another PP said, if it ends up being another csec, so be it!

[skolbut]

Andrea, I'm so glad to see you here! What you went through is traumatic at best. Give yourself time to come to grips with what happened before you make any permanent decisions.

That being said, I've VBACed twice. I believe you CAN. I don't know about you, but after my first two, our family just didn't feel complete. We knew there was one more little spirit waiting to join us here on Earth, and now that he is here it feels like he was meant to be here all along. I'm sure there is a little someone just waiting for the right time to join you here again.

As for a homebirth, I wish I had. REALLY and truly. My last hospital stay was a joke -- my nurses barely even checked on me, it was a pain for DH to drive back and forth and I sent him home at night to get a good night's sleep. I really wish we could have snuggled together in our own bed those first precious moments, and I wish my boys could have been there to snuggle and bond with us, too. I think you should really consider it -- to be able to labor at your own pace, in clothing of your choosing, with minimal monitoring (if you vbac in my hospital you have to have continuous monitoring and an IV, yuck), and in your own space. Just envision what type of birth you'd like to have for your next baby... maybe meditate on it, and come to peace with whatever decision you make. If we have another I would for sure homebirth. No question.

ETA: My csection and first vbac were 20 months apart.

[Sally's Red Meadow]

After a few emails to my local ICAN group, I've almost changed my mind. I don't want to have any more kids. Ever.

I'm heartbroken about my broken body, which will never be able to do what it was supposed to again. I'd rather just give up now and get all my grief over with at once, then move on with the two kids I have, and try to be my best for them.

Hugs. I would say pray about it and if you and your DH both think God wants no more children in your family then sure be done. However I'm thinking God wants more for you. You have such a great love for children.
IMO only a doctor can really tell you that your body can't do something and even then they can be wrong. After all look at how many ladies do have a VBAC when doctors tell them their body can't.
Personally I would not let anyone in ICAN impact my desire for more children or if I was done having more I would not be able to be talked into having more. You will know what God wants for you just keep praying and He will help you heal.

[Harmony96]

Would it be wrong of me to start an ICANT group? :laugh:

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts.

[melissalaurel]

Another believer that you CAN.

You are not broken. Just different. I know that feeling though. :hugs:

I scheduled a consult with the "high risk" Ob's we had to deliver with if we wanted a hospital VBAC as soon as I could after my c-section. Meeting with them and hearing what a great VBAC candidate I was calmed my nerves. They wanted me to have at least 18 months between the c-section and a VBAC attempt. I never joined an Ican group. I researched VBAC's and birth on my own and found the VBAC board on Mothering.com to be super helpful. I'm ecstatic to see a VBAC board here. I'd love to have a HBAC if we were to ever have another child. My dh was not supportive of it and I didn't have it in me to fight him too (fighting the doubts in my own mind were enough).

I VBAC'd our 5th child 23 months after a c-section with our 4th.

I've been following your page on Facebook (sorry, that sounds creepy...:blush:) and am praying for you. :hugs: We lost a son at 20 weeks gestation in 2001 due to my water breaking early. We've gone on to have four uncomplicated (minus a very unnecessary c-section) pregnancies since. I hope that brings you a little ray of hope. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Harmony96]

I've been following your page on Facebook (sorry, that sounds creepy...:blush:) and am praying for you. :hugs: We lost a son at 20 weeks gestation in 2001 due to my water breaking early. We've gone on to have four uncomplicated (minus a very unnecessary c-section) pregnancies since. I hope that brings you a little ray of hope. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Yay, stalkers. :giggle: No, I wouldn't have made it public if I didn't want people following. So sorry for your loss. :hugs: Did it break for any particular reason or was it an "unknown cause" sort of deal?

[Harmony96]

I researched VBAC's and birth on my own and found the VBAC board on Mothering.com to be super helpful.

I think I'm going to have to read the archives over there. I posted this same post there on Sunday, and have since had 27 views and no replies. Lame. lol

[Sally's Red Meadow]

I think I'm going to have to read the archives over there. I posted this same post there on Sunday, and have since had 27 views and no replies. Lame. lol

I think their site may have lost many of their followers when the magazine stopped coming out abruptly.

[oddduck]

:hugs: I've been following you on FB too. :blush: My body isn't broken, and your body isn't either. I found my vbac incredibly healing.

Regarding the spacing and stuff - I think it depends on your providers really, and what guidelines they follow. My girls were ~3 years apart -- you really don't need to wait that long :thumbsup: I know quite a few people that have had successful (and a few unsuccessful) vbacs at 15-18 months. Actually one of my teacher friends is overdue with her "possible vbac baby" that will be 18mo after their first.

[4boys1girlforme]

I didn't read all the replies but wanted to add that I had a section with DS3 because of AROM before his head was properly applied to my cervix and his arm came out. I found out upon going to a "VBAC supportive OB" that I had a single layer closure and he told me that he wouldn't allow me to VBAC and neither would any other OB- he was wrong- I did have to travel because I don't live in a VBAC friendly area but I've had 2 VBAC's since- I believe my OB wanted 18+ months after section to consider VBAC.
I would have loved to have a homebirth but wasn't comfortable with it after having a section.

[erin_c_odonnell]

Personally I think you'd be better off and safer doing the homebirth instead of the hospital for a vbac. Youll get better support with a midwife too imo. Ive had 2 vbacs in the hospital and 2 at home and my homebirthes were so much better by far- less stressful, less painful, etc.
As for timing I'd go with your midwife's recommendation and also know you need time just to heal emotionally too. Your loss was extremely tramatic and you need time to deal with the rollar coaster. In the end though know this- while there is a time to cry, there is also a time to laugh...a time of joy WILL come either with more children or with the ones you have. God promises to restore your heart. Trust Him.

[Sally's Red Meadow]

Personally I think you'd be better off and safer doing the homebirth instead of the hospital for a vbac. Youll get better support with a midwife too imo. Ive had 2 vbacs in the hospital and 2 at home and my homebirthes were so much better by far- less stressful, less painful, etc.
As for timing I'd go with your midwife's recommendation and also know you need time just to heal emotionally too. Your loss was extremely tramatic and you need time to deal with the rollar coaster. In the end though know this- while there is a time to cry, there is also a time to laugh...a time of joy WILL come either with more children or with the ones you have. God promises to restore your heart. Trust Him.

Thought this deserved being repeated.

[Cristina]

We waited a long time before deciding to have another baby after having an unexpected csection. It took me a long time to heal physically and emotionally and then even longer for DH and I to be on the same page. We needed that time. At one point we decided that we were done, I am glad we didn't do anything permanent. When we did have our VBAC at home with a midwife, we were sure that it was the right thing for us.

Personally I think you'd be better off and safer doing the homebirth instead of the hospital for a vbac. Youll get better support with a midwife too imo. Ive had 2 vbacs in the hospital and 2 at home and my homebirthes were so much better by far- less stressful, less painful, etc.
As for timing I'd go with your midwife's recommendation and also know you need time just to heal emotionally too. Your loss was extremely tramatic and you need time to deal with the rollar coaster. In the end though know this- while there is a time to cry, there is also a time to laugh...a time of joy WILL come either with more children or with the ones you have. God promises to restore your heart. Trust Him.

ITA :hugs:

[umphreysmommy]

We are having a HBAC (due date is 3/5) and i believe it is the best place for a vbac. I know the midwives are truly supportive and i don't have to worry about hospital policies/timelines and interventions. I know that if this ends in a c-section it will be truly needed and i am at peace with that. This will be about 27 months between my c-section and the birth.

[linzbear]

Mama, you're not broken. If you were broken you wouldn't already have 2 beautiful healthy children on earth. You still need to grieve for Jonathan - I think it is too early to be even thinking about pregnancy.

I said it earlier. Rupture doesn't just happen spontaneously during labor (unless you are being augmented/induced in some way). You get pain leading up to it, with plenty of time to get to the hospital, and this happens for both home VBAC, hospital VBAC, and hospital CBAC (if you are waiting for labor). 'Natural' ruptures happen before or right at the onset of labor - if you're planning on spending any time at home in early labor, you might as well just HBAC.

When you are ready, I can give you my midwife's email. She is somewhat famous in the VBAC community and has the statistics to back what I've said up.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Harmony96]

'Natural' ruptures happen before or right at the onset of labor - if you're planning on spending any time at home in early labor, you might as well just HBAC.

When you are ready, I can give you my midwife's email. She is somewhat famous in the VBAC community and has the statistics to back what I've said up.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Yes, I'd like her email, please. Before I even was pregnant with DD, I spent about ten years reading everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and birth and motherhood, so these statistics and info would just be helpful to add to my repertoire.

DH and I have another housing option, too, but it would be ~30 minutes from the hospital, so I don't know if that's close enough, but if a rupture is going to happen only at the onset of labor... I dunno.

[linzbear]

PM'd you

[Lady_B]

I agree with everyone else, you are NOT broken.

My mom had a tubal pregnancy the first time she was prego and lost the tube and baby. So she was on meds to help get prego. She had my brother and was told t was "physically impossible for anymore babies". Then she had me 2.5 years later. Again they said the same thing. 6 years later she had my sister. At this point she requested they take the other tube out and put in a jar next to her bed so when se woke up she knew she couldn't have anymore. She didn't believe the line of you will not have anymore babies.

As long as you find a supportive doctor or midwife and learn about all the risks Etc then I don't see a problem. I'm not sure on the recommend time frame though. Dd and ds are 3 years apart and I wanted to vbac but apparently my body just doesn't go into labor. I never dilated or anything. The doctor always had a hard time reaching my cervix it never dropped . I was so disappointment after the first two times he checked me I didn't let him check me the last appt before the c/s. he did check me day of and still nothing. He would've let me go two weeks late if I wanted for my vbac hopes but i knew that the c/s was what was best for ds.

Good luck!

[melissalaurel]

Yay, stalkers. :giggle: No, I wouldn't have made it public if I didn't want people following. So sorry for your loss. :hugs: Did it break for any particular reason or was it an "unknown cause" sort of deal?

I'm sorry Andrea, I just saw this.

It was unknown until we got the autopsy results. I had a small placental abruption which lead to a slow leak of fluid. Everything was fine at a 14wk u/s and I had very little fluid at 19wks, very weak heartbeat at 20wks. Since there was no known reason for the abruption (no trauma, no pre-existing conditions/abnormalities, etc.) I was assured it would be very unlikely that it would occur again. I do get thorough scans of our placentas since then, but that's the extent of the extra precaution.

I just wanted to say I understand wanting to research so soon. I would be doing (and did) the same thing. Both after our loss, and after our traumatic c-section. :hugs:

[Harmony96]

My "research" continues. I'm going to meet with the regional VBAC guru on March 21st and see what he has to say.

[illanna]

Harmony, I have a lot of similar feelings as what you're describing. I'm going for a hospital vbac with a wonderful midwife team, due in September. I would absolutely have an HBAC but they are illegal here in NJ. It's dumb because right over the border in NY it's safe enough to be legal... Doesn't make any sense. We waited a year after my C-section to start trying. Anyway, just wanted to chime in with hugs.

[Computermama]

*hugs*

You're not broken Andrea. What happened with Jonathan was horrible, but it's not something that's even remotely likely to repeat itself. I wouldn't jump right back into TTC, you need time to heal both physically and emotionally, but once you feel you can emotionally handle another pregnancy, I'm sure your body will be up to the task. The chances of rupture for a VBAC patient are very marginally higher than those of a woman who's womb has never been cut, and that's really the cheif danger. Since you have given birth vaginally twice before with your other children, I see no reason why you couldn't do a HBAC, provided you can find a midwife who will attend one. I'm attempting a VBAC with this baby, and if I was in your shoes, my midwives would allow a homebirth, but because I've never labored on my own, and have a history of large babies, they'd prefer me to be in the hospital just in case.

[Zoethink]

Another "follower" here. :blush:

After a few emails to my local ICAN group, I've almost changed my mind. I don't want to have any more kids. Ever.

I'm heartbroken about my broken body, which will never be able to do what it was supposed to again. I'd rather just give up now and get all my grief over with at once, then move on with the two kids I have, and try to be my best for them.

You are not the only one who has felt this way! It took me 7 month after my traumatic c-section (first child) to even consider the idea of more children, which broke my heart because I had always wanted as many children as possible. The first time I did yoga at about 4 months post-op I cried because I didn't feel like I'd ever be the same. But let me tell you, time does amazing things. I'm not 100% yet (DS is 1yo), but the idea of more children, or more specifically more pregnancies, doesn't strike terror into my heart like it did. I've worked hard to process my feelings and I've allowed myself to say "never again" just to work through it and take the pressure off myself. And I have worked hard to reclaim my body through exercise and dance. This is all just to say, I've been where you are in regard to your body, and I know how hard it is, and it can get better! :hugs:

Also, I wanted to say that my OB assured me that she had stitched in two layers, but when I mentioned this to the midwife who I hope to attend my (future) vbac, she said that stitching in two layers makes everybody feel better but that she doesn't feel like one layer or two makes much of a difference. I hope she's right and I hope this helps.

I also have the question of whether to go to a hospital for any future births or stay at home. DH is a doctor and feels very strongly that hospitals are the safest place for birth :yuck: But I come from a family where I watched my brothers be born in the living room, so we have compromised on a birth center. I wonder if that is an option for you.

Oh, and I have read a couple of very inspiring articles in some back issues of mothering magazine. If you would like a copy of them, please feel free to pm me.:goodvibes:

[wordmama]

Good luck at your first meeting Andrea. I hope you leave with a renewed sense of hope and faith in your body!

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum

[momof3boys1girl]

GL andrea cant wait to hear how it goes!

[burgler]

Mama, you're not broken. If you were broken you wouldn't already have 2 beautiful healthy children on earth. You still need to grieve for Jonathan - I think it is too early to be even thinking about pregnancy.

I said it earlier. Rupture doesn't just happen spontaneously during labor (unless you are being augmented/induced in some way). You get pain leading up to it, with plenty of time to get to the hospital, and this happens for both home VBAC, hospital VBAC, and hospital CBAC (if you are waiting for labor). 'Natural' ruptures happen before or right at the onset of labor - if you're planning on spending any time at home in early labor, you might as well just HBAC.

When you are ready, I can give you my midwife's email. She is somewhat famous in the VBAC community and has the statistics to back what I've said up.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Thank you for this.

Hugs to you Andrea. I will just echo what others have shared about taking time to heal.:hugs: We lost our first baby at 14 weeks and our planned homebirth turned into a hospital induction, 24 hours of labor, and a c-section. Just this morning I was crying about the whole experience, and it was 10 months ago. I have found a lot of encouragement on this thread about having a HBAC, which I hope will restore the belief I had in my body before I was 42 weeks pregnant with almost no fluid and our birth plans changed so drastically. Anyways, my midwife told me to wait 18 months to try to conceive again. I just throw that out there with the other stats that different folks are sharing. I understand about researching. After we lost our first baby I researched so much. It is a way of feeling some sense of control. Please know there are lots of people thinking of you and if you choose to have another baby there are resources out there to birth the baby how you wish.

[L J]

Didn't read any replies, so forgive me if I am repeating myself.

I cannot give advice about VBAC, but from one home birthing by choice loss mama to another, you will know.

Of course, with all of the anxiety that comes with pregnancy after loss, it's hard to decipher the fears from your gut instincts. But ultimately, I think when the time comes you will know what is right for you.

I swear I didn't know if Cate was going to be a homebirth or a hospital birth until an hour after my water broke. But then I just knew that everything was okay at home and I was where we needed to be, and out she came.

I know that sounds hippy dippy and crazy, but honestly, things do make themselves clear along the way.

It sounds like you would really prefer a homebirth. I would plan for that and have a backup plan for the hospital just in case that is where you decide you need to be.

[L&A'smommy]

Your body isn't broken, even if it feels that way. :hugs:

[raisingcropsandbabies]

After a few emails to my local ICAN group, I've almost changed my mind. I don't want to have any more kids. Ever.

I'm heartbroken about my broken body, which will never be able to do what it was supposed to again. I'd rather just give up now and get all my grief over with at once, then move on with the two kids I have, and try to be my best for them.

I had one homebirth that ended badly (shoulder dystocia, ending up in lo's need of resuscitation and lifelong birth injury). Now I've had 3 c-sections with healthy babies. My body has never done what it's supposed to! It's a grieving process in and of itself. While birth is "natural", things in nature don't happen perfectly all the time. Nature is flawed because we live in a flawed world and there is not always rhyme or reason to it. Hurricanes happen, tornados happen... they are all natural things. You know more than us that in birth there is also death. I have stopped trusting everything natural of this world and instead put my trust in the Creator (Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. Psalm 20:7).

I understand the anxiety of what to do, the pressure, etc. During my second pregnancy when we were trying to figure out if we should try for another vaginal birth or just do the c-section, it was so much pressure/worry/fear over making the "wrong decision" that I stopped myself from bonding with my lo in utero. If he passed away because of another s/d, I didn't want to love him too much. I was in fear. I told my mom this and she gave me good words and some great scripture to memorize...

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Tim. 1:7

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

-Do not let fear make any decisions for you! SEEK God's will for your life. That may mean no more babies or it may mean another c-section or it may mean a vbac. Seek His will and for His wisdom and for YOU, the strength to carry it out. That is always my prayer to God. I get scared thinking of a 4th c-section/5th baby (as my recoveries get a bit longer and harder each one) and I know that fear is not FROM God. Instead, when I feel fear creep up in my heart, I pray for God's direction in our lives. For His will regardin the size of our family. And you know what's strange... I have not felt led either way (to have more or to stop) and I'm at PEACE with not knowing! If you knew me, you'd know that I LOVE to plan things, to know what's going to happen; so I know that I know that I know the peace I feel is God's peace. A peace that passes my understanding. Until we feel called or directed, we use condoms. God has given you a SOUND mind to research and to weigh risks vs. benefits. And He has given you Himself. We are to learn and then to pray and seek God. "5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

((big hugs)). Life sure does throw curveballs, doesn't it?

[Harmony96]

-Do not let fear make any decisions for you! SEEK God's will for your life. That may mean no more babies or it may mean another c-section or it may mean a vbac. Seek His will and for His wisdom and for YOU, the strength to carry it out. That is always my prayer to God. I get scared thinking of a 4th c-section/5th baby (as my recoveries get a bit longer and harder each one) and I know that fear is not FROM God. Instead, when I feel fear creep up in my heart, I pray for God's direction in our lives. For His will regardin the size of our family. And you know what's strange... I have not felt led either way (to have more or to stop) and I'm at PEACE with not knowing! If you knew me, you'd know that I LOVE to plan things, to know what's going to happen; so I know that I know that I know the peace I feel is God's peace. A peace that passes my understanding. Until we feel called or directed, we use condoms. God has given you a SOUND mind to research and to weigh risks vs. benefits. And He has given you Himself. We are to learn and then to pray and seek God. "5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

I totally agree. It's funny because in the past couple of weeks, I was stressing about exercise and fitness and stuff (see my most recent threads). Then I decided not to stress if I couldn't get through the workout without breaks, since just getting through it, period, was accomplishment enough. I was talking to a friend of mine last night and she told me that she was glad I wasn't stressing about it anymore. I half-jokingly told her not to worry, that I'd find something else to stress about soon enough, whether it's decluttering or unfinished craft projects or parenting failures or whatever, lol.

But, yeah. I need to chill. I need to think on what is real and now instead of the what-ifs.

[Harmony96]

Eeep, less than 48 hours now until DH and I are on the way to our appointment. I'm getting SKEEEEEERED!!!! Deep breath, deep breath. What's the worst that he can tell me? That to have my best chances of a VBAC I should wait until August? That if I get pregnant before then, I should have another c-section? Probably having to have another c-section would be the "worst" thing that I imagine he can tell me. I've already been told by two other people that I CAN have a VBAC (so obviously, if I CAN conceive, then another baby, period, could still be in my future), but it's just a timing thing. My c-section recovery was ROUGH. I don't know if it's because it was general anesthesia or a "fast and rough" surgery or what, but at the same time, I kind of know a little bit of what to expect now if that happens again, and can plan on having people around to help me move around and hold the baby next time (if I go to full term and baby and I come home together). The BEST case scenario would be that I could go ahead and TTC whenever and get pregnant with a sticky on the first try, and have an out-of-hospital birth and have a healthy full-term baby (or two). :D

[averysmom]

Eeep, less than 48 hours now until DH and I are on the way to our appointment. I'm getting SKEEEEEERED!!!! Deep breath, deep breath. What's the worst that he can tell me? That to have my best chances of a VBAC I should wait until August? That if I get pregnant before then, I should have another c-section? Probably having to have another c-section would be the "worst" thing that I imagine he can tell me. I've already been told by two other people that I CAN have a VBAC (so obviously, if I CAN conceive, then another baby, period, could still be in my future), but it's just a timing thing. My c-section recovery was ROUGH. I don't know if it's because it was general anesthesia or a "fast and rough" surgery or what, but at the same time, I kind of know a little bit of what to expect now if that happens again, and can plan on having people around to help me move around and hold the baby next time (if I go to full term and baby and I come home together). The BEST case scenario would be that I could go ahead and TTC whenever and get pregnant with a sticky on the first try, and have an out-of-hospital birth and have a healthy full-term baby (or two). :D

I know your appointment is about your specific situation, but if the dr says c/s only I would get a second opinion. Some dr's are still once a c/s always a c/s. I had a c/s and went on to have a successful Vbac and I would never choose a c/s unless life depended on it (mine or the baby's). Hopefully, you'll get good news!! :)

[Harmony96]

I know your appointment is about your specific situation, but if the dr says c/s only I would get a second opinion. Some dr's are still once a c/s always a c/s. I had a c/s and went on to have a successful Vbac and I would never choose a c/s unless life depended on it (mine or the baby's). Hopefully, you'll get good news!! :)

Yeah, my specific situation, and asking this specific doctor, because he really IS the VBAC guru of the area. I've heard he's helped mamas VBAC breech, VBAC twins, VBAC this, that and the other.

I'm really getting excited.

[averysmom]

Yeah, my specific situation, and asking this specific doctor, because he really IS the VBAC guru of the area. I've heard he's helped mamas VBAC breech, VBAC twins, VBAC this, that and the other.

I'm really getting excited.

That's encouraging!! That means if I can VBAC you can too!!! Keep us posted!

[Harmony96]

More later, but some of his exact words were, "Go off, do your thing, have your baby." Lol. Yay!

[erin_c_odonnell]

Woohoo for good news! :elmo:

[MDever]

More later, but some of his exact words were, "Go off, do your thing, have your baby." Lol. Yay!

That is the BEST news I have heard in ages:lostit: I am beyond thrilled for you and your family. Hope is AMAZING!

[Harmony96]

Okay, I'm back home now and at my computer. My phone couldn't get onto this group for some reason.

Anyway. The butterflies in my stomach from earlier this morning turned into pterodactyls when I was in the waiting room. I'd brought along a crochet project to keep my mind and fingers occupied. I did the bit of paperwork and then the nurse called me back and took down more info.

I sat on the exam table and did more crocheting. When the crochet project was finished, I pulled out my list of questions, my notebook, and my operative report, and sat them on the pillow (the way the room was oriented, the pillow end of the table was towards the door) so I'd have them handy. Then I waited.

Dr. C finally came in and introduced himself to me and to Tim, and then without missing a step, he noticed my op report laying there on the pillow and helps himself to it, without even saying a word, lol. After he has it in hand and is looking at it, I ask him, "Would you like to see my operative report?"

Then we start talking and he said, "You're here because you want to know if you can have a VBAC." (He was still reading my op report during this time.) I said that I already know that I can do that, but just want to know when. All casual-like, and without even lifting his eyes from the paper, he goes, "Oh, now."

I about fell off the table in relief b/c I thought there would have been a whole lot more discussion than that, LOL. I did ask a few more questions a bit later, but several times, he kept saying, "Go off. Do your thing. Have your baby." lol. He talked about how even though things CAN go wrong, they also have a huge probability of going right, too, and encouraged us to not live in fear.

I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day.

[erin_c_odonnell]

Okay, I'm back home now and at my computer. My phone couldn't get onto this group for some reason.

Anyway. The butterflies in my stomach from earlier this morning turned into pterodactyls when I was in the waiting room. I'd brought along a crochet project to keep my mind and fingers occupied. I did the bit of paperwork and then the nurse called me back and took down more info.

I sat on the exam table and did more crocheting. When the crochet project was finished, I pulled out my list of questions, my notebook, and my operative report, and sat them on the pillow (the way the room was oriented, the pillow end of the table was towards the door) so I'd have them handy. Then I waited.

Dr. C finally came in and introduced himself to me and to Tim, and then without missing a step, he noticed my op report laying there on the pillow and helps himself to it, without even saying a word, lol. After he has it in hand and is looking at it, I ask him, "Would you like to see my operative report?"

Then we start talking and he said, "You're here because you want to know if you can have a VBAC." (He was still reading my op report during this time.) I said that I already know that I can do that, but just want to know when. All casual-like, and without even lifting his eyes from the paper, he goes, "Oh, now."

I about fell off the table in relief b/c I thought there would have been a whole lot more discussion than that, LOL. I did ask a few more questions a bit later, but several times, he kept saying, "Go off. Do your thing. Have your baby." lol. He talked about how even though things CAN go wrong, they also have a huge probability of going right, too, and encouraged us to not live in fear.

I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day.


Where is the Like button? So excited for you and praying constantly for your family. :)

[Ellasundies]

Harmony,

I don't post much but I was in your DDC. I heard about your story there and have been rooting and praying for you ever since. I'm so glad that you got your good news. Now I'll be praying for a quick positive pregnancy test :thumbsup:

[averysmom]

Andrea!!! :thumbsup::thumbsup::lostit: That's the best news I;ve read all day!! I'm so over joyed for you!! Congrats!!

[melissalaurel]

Yay!!! So happy for you Andrea!!

[Computermama]

I'm thrilled to hear it Andrea! Wishing you the best of luck!

[beaute_marquee]

Andrea, I am so happy for you! I haven't been keeping up with the emails in the ICAN group, but I knew from what everyone else has said about Dr. C that you would have a great visit with him. And you should definitely submit that comment to myobsaidwhat.com for Thoughtful Thursdays. Every doctor should have that kind of attitude.

[Harmony96]

Guess I'll find out in December if I can have my VBAC. :eek: If I make it to 37 weeks, I'm going to try for home.

[Computermama]

Guess I'll find out in December if I can have my VBAC. :eek: If I make it to 37 weeks, I'm going to try for home.

Congratulations! Wishing you and baby the healthiest of pregnancies!

[247mom]

Oh, congratulations!! I am praying you can get your homebirth VBAC!!

[Lady_B]

Guess I'll find out in December if I can have my VBAC. :eek: If I make it to 37 weeks, I'm going to try for home.

I hope you have a very healthy and long pregnancy and get your vbac!