Post, PM, then mark it sold!

[Manna00]

Can I just say how frustrating it is when people don't add to the thread that they're PMing for an item.... so when you THINK the item you want is there: it's not because, of course, the seller hasn't marked it as "pending" or "sold".... or you think "Holy stink! I MIGHT get this!" it's long gone, even though you may be the first person to post. :banghead:

It's happened to me TWICE just this evening. I'm not trying to point any fingers... this is a general complaint that's happened many more times than just the twice tonight... I'm-a gonna go lie down.. obviously luck just ain't with me tonight.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone just did some kind of quick post saying you're PMing before PMing... it just seems like good manners to me. And "first come first serve is great"... but who came first: the person who PMed without posting or the person who posted first and then PMed? Maybe I've had it wrong this whole time.

What IS proper etiquette for selling/buyer notification?
It's just really frustrating always being pipped at the post.

[MyTwoSunshines]

:hugs: mama, I know your frustration. Typically, I think whoever PMs first gets it, no matter if they posted or not. At least that's what I think personally. Almost all posts say to PM with interest....so, whether you post or not doesn't really matter. I've rarely ever posted onto a thread when I was interested in something, it usually isn't a big deal, I see something I want and I PM the person about it. Most of the sellers here don't go checking at the thread to see who came first. It is frustrating when it happens, I've had it happen to me a time or two, but I'm guilty of almost always PMing the person and never posting that I was PMing them. Thats ok, that means the person that wanted that item can't hunt me down now. :giggle:

[*~Mindy~*]

i very rarely will post if im asking about something, if i dont end up with the item, it possibly ca an deter someone who would buy from buying, because they think its pending or sold or whatever, and another thing is i say im broke a lot and i used to would have people pm me and email me on different boards saying that i shouldnt be going around saying im broke if i am interested in and buying all this stuff, etc...and it drove me freakin nuts so i dont tell people what i buy anymore!!

i think the person should go update right when something sells though so no one else is frustrated by it not saying sold.....

[SheilaJoy]

I don't think it's the buyer's responsibility to let everyone know they're pming. I never do, it's just a waste of time. It's the seller's responsibility to mark the item pending or sold.
And sometimes, pms might come very close together so the seller hasn't had the opportunity to mark it yet. I don't consider these things worth getting worked up about personally.

[beenwaitingalongtime]

Typically, I think whoever PMs first gets it, no matter if they posted or not. At least that's what I think personally. Almost all posts say to PM with interest....so, whether you post or not doesn't really matter. I've rarely ever posted onto a thread when I was interested in something, it usually isn't a big deal, I see something I want and I PM the person about it. Most of the sellers here don't go checking at the thread to see who came first. It is frustrating when it happens, I've had it happen to me a time or two, but I'm guilty of almost always PMing the person and never posting that I was PMing them.
:yeahthat:

If the seller wanted to be really fair, they could look at both PM and posting times and go in order of first to reply in either location...

[mj7477]

I never post if I'm interested in something....I just pm. I guess I always thought it was redundant to post saying "I pm you".
I always assume that someone might have seen the for sale post before I did....and the item could already be pending. I just ask and if it's available great...if not..no big deal.

[monkeytoesmama]

I agree with the OP that it's courteous to post that you've sent a PM and what you want. Saves other people's time from replying when something isn't available and also saves the seller a lot of unnecessary PMs to sort through.

As to who is "first"? I guess I'd have to say the time of the PM itself...the public post is really just a courtesy IMO.

I think most sellers are pretty good about posting when things are pending/sold. But unless they're sitting at the computer 24/7 they deserve a little leniency if they don't get to it immediately. If a buyer doesn't come through, it's easy enough for the seller to repost as "available again" and/or to contact other buyers who posted they were also interested.

[wbkt8]

as for the buyer posting that they're pming the seller - sometimes i do and sometimes i don't. but honestly often i'm asking a question and depending on the answer may or may not buy the item. so even if i was first to pm (and posted about it) doesn't mean it's gone.

i don't think the buyer/potential buyer really has any responsibility for that. it's the seller's job to keep the post updated - but even then i don't expect them to drop everything to post it sold the second they've received paypal.

sorry to the OP that you've been disappointed so often lately. hope you find what you're hunting for.

[Minniebees]

I don't like the PM post generally because if they have several items FS and then someone writes "Pming you!" I assume the one I want is sold, so I don't bother to ask about it. Maybe the poster asked about a different item, but I assume they asked about the one I want. ie., the good one, lol. If you post about Pming, be specific about what you are PMing about.

I always mark sold and pending right away. I get the PM, and then I go straight to the post to mark it pending. I know as a buyer it would be so frustrating, and it doesn't take much time at all.

[Mugs]

I would definitely PM first. If you post a I pm'd you then you just push the thread up to the top of the list and make if more visible for the next person to see and check it out.

I know when I sell I only look at Pm's becuase half the time I forget to subscribe to the post and go back and check it. But I always say right in my ad that you should PM me if you are interested or have questions.

[shaykismama]

I'm so sorry! I'm definitly guilty of not posting that I PMed. Honestly, I wondered why other people did that, but I understand now.

[christiansmom]

As a newbie I have spent the last few days glued to the FSOT boards. If I see a, I pm'd you! I go right past it. I see both sides. If someone just pm'd to ask a question and the item is still available, I will lose out and so will the seller. I think the answer would be for the seller to try to be diligent in updating their posts.

[boomer]

Hugs, I know it can be frustrating. I guess I should mark my FFS items pending (although it happened so fast I don't think I had time!), but I never mark my for sale items pending just in case it doesn't go through--I don't want other mamas passing it up because they think they won't get it.

[Noortje]

I never post "I just PM'ed you". Honestly, I don't see the point why I would.

Just because someone has PM'ed the seller, doesn't mean it will be sold. Also, I'd rather PM the person if it really is something I want, than draw attention to it!

As a seller, I usually make it a point to update my post as frequently and accurate as possible.

[FitMommyOf2]

:hugs: mama,
I know it can be frustrating! I too wish ppl would edit their posts (re pending or sold) more.. As a seller I try my best to update asap.
If I'm interested in an item I mostly PM directly instead of posting that I'm going to PM (eventhough I've done that a few times aswell). Just b/c like some ppl here already said; most sellers ask in their posts to PM them if interested.

As to the ? who gets it first; I try to compare the times of PMs or posts if ppl sometimes only replied to my post but didn't PM.

[tararaboomdeea]

I asked this same question last week, but then the post was moved :(

I think it is rude to not mark the post. Some people are just too busy to be courteous

[tararaboomdeea]

Oh, I didn't read your post the first time. I don't always post and say that I am PMing because sometimes I PM the seller just to ask a question before I decide if I want to buy it. I always PM a seller with interest because it is first come, first serve. It's not like eBay where we all have to wait to see who wins. I know for me, I sell to the first person that offers PP because if I'm selling something, that means I need PP for another diaper or something and I don't always have time to sit and wait for someone to get back to me. If someone says they are sending PP, then I don't sell it to someone else.

That said, I do wish more mamas would mark the post pending if they're waiting for PP. I can't tell you how many times I PM about a diaper and then find out it's pending or even been sold already. THAT is frustrating.

[amyers]

nak
I have started posting when I pm, because occasionally the pm does not go through properly, and then the seller may have the chance to try to contact me for a sale, if it didn't, and they still need it. . .

A

[OneFabMama]

I never ever say "PMing you" in a FSOT thread. I just PM reguardless if it has previous "PMing yous" on the thread that doesnt really mea it's gone. I know people have PM'd me about things and then dont buy them.

[SheilaJoy]

I never ever say "PMing you" in a FSOT thread. I just PM reguardless if it has previous "PMing yous" on the thread that doesnt really mea it's gone. I know people have PM'd me about things and then dont buy them.

Exactly. Just because someone says "pming you" doesn't mean it's sold. In fact, I kind of don't like it when people put that in the thread when I'm selling something because then other people assume it's gone when often it's not.

[a_cthelen]

I never assume that just b/c someone says "PMing you" that it's gone. I always PM the seller to check. :)

[Samantha]

I dont have any issues if the person puts "pming you" or not.

I do have issues with sellers who dont update their posts. There are TONS of posts in the for sale forums of products that I KNOW are gone...but, since no one updated the thread....we cant remove it! KWIM?

I think that as soon as its promised to someone it should be marked pending. As soon as its paid for it should be marked sold. The sold portion CAN be held off for a little while (like a couple hours or something) if it has been marked as pending.

That being said...if you PM for something and you are told its gone and the post doesnt reflect that....PM a moderator and we will move it to the sold forum.

[almostcrunchy]

If I see in a thread "PMing you" I usually assume the item is sold.

Also, I prefer people to PM me for items, as I don't have time to update the thread each time someone pm's me with questions, you know having to say, item's still available....ect....

Although, I do think that when items have sold that the post needs to be updated and moved to the "sold" forum :goodvibes:

[SandyG]

interesting what an array of responses :giggle:
when i see i pm you i dont think its sold, until i see the orig thread changed.