DD is about a week old now. I would really like to co-sleep with her. I am breastfeeding and have only been getting a about 3 hours of sleep a day because she doesn't want to be put down (DUH). I'd love to have her co-sleep with me and my husband but I am too scared to try. Any advice on how to co-sleep with her safely. I thought about one of those foam beds that fits on your bed, but I wonder if she would like that or if it would be the same as having her in the cradle next to the bed as it still separates you from the baby.
bfoster2000
09-11-2007, 10:09 AM
When DJ was born, I wasn't crazy about cosleeping with him either because I was terrified that I might roll over on him or something (and I LOVE my pillows and blankets!) We wound up keeping him in the bassinet beside the bed until he was about 6 months old or so...at that point he was a little bigger and I felt a little better about it. With James, I was even more nervous because we already had dh, me, and DJ in the bed but I tried to sleep with him kind of in the crook of my arm so that it was impossible for me roll over or for him to fall off the bed and I was between him and DJ and dh. Turns out he never liked co-sleeping anyway though... :(
Heather8183
09-11-2007, 10:09 AM
When DS was a newborn, he had reflux, and the only way he would sleep was on the couch on mine or DH's chests. So we didn't really cosleep in the bed when he was a newborn. I was too afraid also, for me it just wasn't worth the risk. Now that he's older though, 14 months) he comes in our room in the middle of the night whenever he wakes up so I guess we're partially co-sleeping. Good luck!
ri814146
09-11-2007, 10:14 AM
thats exactly how I feel, its not worth the risk! Thats why I was wondering about a safe way to get her into bed, I could see myself sleeping on the couch with her on my chest! Dh falls asleep with her like that already, lol I also find myself sleeping while nursing, dh is always waking me up, I bet it looks funny
mengmommy
09-11-2007, 10:18 AM
Seriously, check out www.askdrsears.com We were scared to sleep with ds too, and didn't until he was 2 weeks old and I was a walking zombie. Dd we did from day 1. Before you listen to/read horror stories, get some firm research and suggestions in. Find what is comfortable for you three. What might be easiest is to move your bed all the way up against the wall, making sure there is absolutely NO gap, and have dd sleep on that side of you. You and dh can both still have your blankets and pillows. You'll learn how to wrap the blanket around your body comfortably without it being on dd. My dd won't even tolerate the blanket touching her, so it can be done! With ds, before we moved the bed to the wall, we put him on top of the blankets between us, with a tightly rolled blanket between dh and him. I also slept with my arm around him and moved dh's arm the one time he put it on him. I think co-sleeping saved our son...I woke up one night when he was 6 weeks old because I hadn't felt him breath. I laid awake and watched (we slept with a low light on) and watched and listened and no breath for as long as I could take it. I finally took a deeeeep breath and then he did too.
MamaToBe84
09-11-2007, 10:20 AM
im worried about this too-- i think for the newborn stage, i will be using that thing that you put on the bed and put the baby in. It has hard sides but i dont think its exceptionally large. I also thought of using an arms reach co-sleeper for the first couple months.
mengmommy
09-11-2007, 10:21 AM
BTW, its safer to co-sleep in bed than on the couch. Should you adjust or whatever during the night just right, dc could slide down off your chest and into the space between you and the back of the couch.
bfoster2000
09-11-2007, 10:22 AM
Actually, she's safer in the bed (if you do it right) than on the couch. I'll try to find the link...maybe someone else remembers it...about guidelines for safe cosleeping. You should never sleep with a baby on the couch (yeah, we've all done it I'm sure...but it's about the most dangerous place to sleep).
In the bed, you need to make sure it's a firm bed, nothing to poofy, no waterbeds. No way she could wiggle her way between the bed and the wall or get stuck in the headboard. "They" say no pillows or blankets for her to get tangled in and she should be beside you, not between you and dh. Something about that mama-baby bond makes it VERY rare for a mother to roll onto a baby or anything like that while sleeping...not the same for daddies. Those are the ones I can remember.
And I do sympathize with you...they're so tiny and fragile at first. That's why DJ stayed in the bassinet until he was bigger and able to "fight" for his spot on the bed :D
ri814146
09-11-2007, 10:33 AM
read the link, it has all the info about ways to co -sleep (it talks about not sleeping on the couch there) I was surprised at the statistics.
ktmelody
09-11-2007, 10:36 AM
I have co-slept with all 5 of my children since day one. I am a VERY Light sleeper.
In fact, there are studies, that show infants that co-sleep, have more regular breathing patterns and that mothers will adjust their babies while asleep.
I have even thought of video taping co-sleeping to see what i happens.
I feel very safe in my choice to co-sleep. Granted, my DH does not sleep in bed currently with me and my 6 month old, but that is because he started kicking and i felt it was safer with him out of the bed. But he did sleep with us and all 4 other children.
I did try our Amby baby bed the other day, with my DD. I put her in it asleep and went downstairs. Within 15 minutes she had figured out how to roll over in it and was face down and could not turn herself around again. Becuase of the nature of the bed, she could not lift her head to give ample breathing space. Now i am really glad i choose to co-sleep. She has never turned tummy side while on my bed.
Just my point of view.
PS: I have never felt the ravages of new mommy lack of sleep. My children have always slept great since coming home from the hospital and i attribute that to co-sleeping.
The choice is yours, if you dont feel safe, BY ALL MEANS DONT DO IT!
bfoster2000
09-11-2007, 10:40 AM
I did try our Amby baby bed the other day, with my DD. I put her in it asleep and went downstairs. Within 15 minutes she had figured out how to roll over in it and was face down and could not turn herself around again. Becuase of the nature of the bed, she could not lift her head to give ample breathing space. Now i am really glad i choose to co-sleep. She has never turned tummy side while on my bed.
SIL used one of those cosleeper things with my nephew and she said the same thing...she went to take a shower and he got himself "stuck". I hate it when I see people registering for "sleep positioners" and such because I've read so many articles about how dangerous they are but still they're allowed to sell them! I usually don't butt into other people's parenting decisions but when i see one of those on a baby registry, I try to find a discreet way to pass along an article or two!
Good luck to you and sleep vibes for all! :goodvibes:
fostermomcchr
09-11-2007, 10:43 AM
I love to cosleep, however, when our now 17 yr old was a few days old, I had him inbetween hubby and I, I woke up just as hubby was rolling right over onto our 5Lb newborn-he immediately went into a cradle and was never in our bed again unless hubby went to the guestroom cuz baby was sick and needed to sleep close to me-that was extremely rare. When our 2nd was born, I also put him in the cradle next to our bed, however, he woke everytime he fell asleep cuz hubby snored so loud-I actually didn't sleep for the first two weeks of his life, I took him to his 2 week well baby check and his pedi took one look at me and said to bring him to bed with me, when I told him what hubby did with our oldest, he said to kick hubby to the guestroom so I could sleep-he said, if mama don't sleep ain't nobody happy! It was great, I had always had trouble sleeping with hubby and his snoring so him sleeping in the guestroom was great cuz then I could sleep too. I have loved getting such great sleep that hubby has been sleeping in a different room from me for almost 13 yrs now!!!!! I let the fosterbabies sleep in my arms with no worries, though I do have a cosleeper to put them in, most prefer to sleep in my arms.
ferrferr
09-11-2007, 10:50 AM
I co-sleep with DD#2, and I still have our normal 2 pillows and our comforter on the bed (it gets cold in our room). She's currently laying on the couch covered in her daddy's blanket after having finished nursing a little while ago.
I can sleep with my back to my baby, and her up against my back and the second that she makes on of her snurfling sounds of waking up I'm already out of bed and grabbing a clean diaper and her changing pad. :giggle: Because of this she almost never gets to the point of crying unless of course the diaper change takes longer than she cares for it to.
I love the fact that I've been able to co-sleep with her (my boyfriend sleeps on the couch right now to give us space in bed). I love watching her sleep, and I love having my arm around her while she's all nestled up in my armpit and belly up against me. It's cozy and god does it make night time breastfeeding a million times easier. I woke up when my boyfriend came in to get clothes for work and noticed that once again I had failed to tuck my boob back in to my bra and DD#2 was asleep on it like a pillow. :laugh:
Phooey
09-11-2007, 10:51 AM
We don't co-sleep, either, but if we did, it would have to be with something like this...
We used a Snugglenest at first and it really was great. WE put it between the two of us. There is a definite barrier so if you slightly roll.. you feel the rail that is hard. It was great when we first started cosleeping.http://trus.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-2786483dt.jpg
you can get those at babiesrus. it also has a little light you can put on to see the baby.
fostermomcchr
09-11-2007, 11:47 AM
I have one of those forsale, I actually never even used it, but I did buy it at a CS, it looks great though. If you are interested pm me with your zip and I will get you a shipped price.
Mirasmom
09-11-2007, 11:50 AM
We never did because I was scared too. I have seen some of those "horror stories" which I will spare you from hearing. It's very rare, but I wasn't willing to risk my babe's life. She's 9 mos old and I would LOVE to sleep with her and wake up to see her baby face next to mine, but I'd rather have her safe. I dont' think I would ever sleep well for fear of something happening. LOTS of mama's do it no prob. You've just got to figure out what's right for you and your babe.
shell62995
09-11-2007, 11:56 AM
I had dd in her arms reach co-sleeper at first. Now it just holds al the pillows that are on our bed. I used to be a really heavy sleeper but now I am a super light sleeper. I love co-sleeping. My dd w/ pull up my shirt at night and nurse w/out my help. Which is nice because I havent slept over 6 hrs straight in over a yr!
But if you aren't comfortable co-sleeping then don't. Always go w/your gut!
massbb2
09-11-2007, 11:57 AM
I was too scared with ds #1, but with my youngest, I had every intention of co-sleeping from the start. We set up a co-sleeper attached to the bed and he always started out there. Eventually around a month old, we started nursing in bed. I laid on my side and tucked my arm under his head. We left the covers below my waist. Never had a problem. I'm a light sleeper. As he got older, we added a bed rail.
Yes, there are those horror stories. Try napping with your baby to start. A more lighter sleep or just closing your eyes for a rest will give you a good idea how the both of you sleep.
Brenda
tammilf
09-11-2007, 12:04 PM
I was very worried that either dh or I would roll over our son as we are both big people and heavy sleepers. But one night I woke up after nursing in a recliner...and my son's head was tucked between me and the arm of the chair. Once my heart started beating again, I decided us in bed was a better option. We used something with foam sides like the things described above and were happy with it.
I don't know what we will do with the next one...due in Feb...as ds now 2.5 yrs old and in a toddler bed climbs over me almost every night to snuggle. Very sweet now...but, not sure if he will (unintentionally) head-butt the poor babe!
EvansMomma
09-11-2007, 12:08 PM
We have coslept from the beginning.
I'm more scared of putting him in a crib than I ever was of having him in bed with me.
I got a lot of the stories like "Well the cousin of the neighbour of the girl who works with so and so...HER baby died because they coslept". Honestly, and no disrespect to anyone on here who says they've heard 'the stories', but I really just kind of brush those off. GENERALLY SPEAKING - when babies are injured or killed as a 'result' of cosleeping, it's actually the result of the parents not taking the time to ensure they're following the safety guidelines. Parents who go to bed with their babes when they've been drinking, or on sleepign aid medicaitons, or maybe not taking the time to set up the bed so that the baby is not near the blankets or pillows. If done safely and with proper care, the baby is far safer sleeping with the parents then they are all alone in a crib.
www.askdrsears.com was a HUGE help for us.
jls~Kain~Drake
09-11-2007, 02:14 PM
We used the bassinet beside the bed (literally touching my side of the bed so I could sit up and get him without getting out of bed) until they didn't fit anymore. Then we started co-sleeping...I felt safe because I wake up all the time anyway...plus I'm an incredibly light sleeper. Whether that's a good reason or not, I don't know...but it's what worked for us.
