Edit: I just saw that this is from 1998, so it's not so new, but it's new to me!
Researchers at Harvard have found that "...the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds -- even separate rooms -- and not responding quickly to their cries may lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when these children reach adulthood."
So, now when friends/family tell you that you should let your LO cry it out, you have researchers at Harvard to back you up when you tell them why you won't!
As a personal sidenote, I was at my cousin's house last weekend, and she said "the one thing I regret not doing with my daughter is letting her cry it out. Instead of just going right to sleep, sometimes I have to rub her back for 10 minutes." I was like ---> :eek: How sad that a mother finds it to be a chore to have to rub her daughter's back for 10 minutes while she falls asleep. :(
Tiffer23
09-27-2007, 10:49 AM
Yeah, I was thinking "Wasn't that already proven?" Still pretty interesting though!
boomer
09-27-2007, 11:44 AM
I was like ---> :eek: How sad that a mother finds it to be a chore to have to rub her daughter's back for 10 minutes while she falls asleep. :(
No kidding! I'd be on cloud 9 if that's all it took to put my kids to sleep! :lostit:
mengmommy
09-27-2007, 11:46 AM
Yeah, it usually takes us an hour to get the kids to sleep, but if you add it up, thats 1800 extra hours of cuddle time that I've had with my kids. :loveit:
kayak4life
09-27-2007, 11:59 AM
but if you add it up, thats 1800 extra hours of cuddle time that I've had with my kids. :loveit:
What a wonderful way to look at it! :goodvibes:
RetroBaby
09-27-2007, 12:01 PM
:goodvibes: Word! Babies need their mamas!
GraemesMomma
09-27-2007, 12:05 PM
I wonder if the results of the study are b/c the same attitude of "just let them deal with it" from a parent results in further trauma as the child grows older. (I don't think all parents who let their babies CIO feel that way, BTW!)
So it would almost stand to reason that if you had that attitude to begin with, it might cause damage when applied to situations when your child is older.
Melissa~BHS
09-27-2007, 04:54 PM
The date on the article is April 1998.
I have been arguing with a certain member of my family for years about CIO. She thought I was a nut for co-sleeping, laughed at my babywearing, and yet could never understand why her child cried so much and mine hardly ever did.
isis0821
09-27-2007, 05:59 PM
I changed the title to correct my mistake saying that the article was new. :blush: I'm just so glad that I found something relatively "mainstream" to use in my arguments with my relatively mainstream friends and family, who say I should let my son CIO, because he's not sleeping through the night at 4 months.
southernmom2three
09-27-2007, 06:44 PM
And yet some babies who CIO go on to be honor roll students, skip a grade and qualify for the gifted program at school and have amazing relationships with parents, friends and peers.
If you dont want to do CIO, dont but no need to tell others their kids are going to have problems :thumbsup:
dirtdartwife
09-27-2007, 06:50 PM
And yet some babies who CIO go on to be honor roll students, skip a grade and qualify for the gifted program at school and have amazing relationships with parents, friends and peers.
If you dont want to do CIO, dont but no need to tell others their kids are going to have problems :thumbsup:
:yeahthat:
ScrappyCat
09-27-2007, 06:56 PM
I'm not there yet (actually my 3mo is sleeping through the night with no problems so far), but I thought the whole point of CIO was to *gradually* lengthen the time between responding to their cries so that they could *learn* to soothe themselves to sleep. Not to go cold turkey and let them bawl until so exhausted they drop to sleep.
I believe that parents should be teachers and enable their kids to learn healthy habits and patterns... and in order to do that you need to know your child. Not every 4 month old (or 6 mo or 12mo etc etc) is going to be able to sleep through the night.
sahminaz
09-27-2007, 07:16 PM
And yet some babies who CIO go on to be honor roll students, skip a grade and qualify for the gifted program at school and have amazing relationships with parents, friends and peers.
If you dont want to do CIO, dont but no need to tell others their kids are going to have problems :thumbsup:
Intellectual advancements have nothing to do with the reprocussions of CIO. The article said that it would later cause PTSD and anxiety, not that CIO would make you dumb. :thumbsup:
Terra
09-27-2007, 07:24 PM
Since hearing about this article awhile ago I've brought it up when other people tell me to let David CIO...I've also posted it in a bulletin on MySpace and actually got comments from friends who do not have children yet but were very interested in a more AP approach to parenting....
Sadly some of my friends that use CIO or agree with it always use the line...
"well we turned out fine" or "my children turned out fine" :banghead: One of my pet peeves anyway...using the ole..."well we're fine"....
isis0821
09-28-2007, 07:56 AM
And yet some babies who CIO go on to be honor roll students, skip a grade and qualify for the gifted program at school and have amazing relationships with parents, friends and peers.
If you dont want to do CIO, dont but no need to tell others their kids are going to have problems :thumbsup:
Yes, and there are people who smoke their whole lives who don't get lung cancer.
But, I really didn't post this to argue here about whether or not to let your child CIO. I would never tell someone else how to raise their child. I just thought it was an interesting article to provide to parents against CIO. I have friends/family who tell me that I should let my son cry himself to sleep, and at least now I have empirical evidence from Harvard to use in my argument as to why I don't want to do that.
mommyfrog
09-28-2007, 10:53 PM
I've never personally had to use that method. My mom says I just got lucky. 6 times?!! I don't know exactly how, but I've been able to get my kids to go to sleep in their own beds and sleep there all night without crying at all. Of course they woke up when they were little to BF, but eventually slept longer and longer until they didn't wake up. Not that I think it's wrong to co-sleep. It's just not for me. I can't sleep!!
tmfletch
09-29-2007, 04:30 PM
4 month olds typically don't sleep through the night do they? My DD didn't start sleeping through the night until almost 6 mos. old. :headscratch:
I changed the title to correct my mistake saying that the article was new. :blush: I'm just so glad that I found something relatively "mainstream" to use in my arguments with my relatively mainstream friends and family, who say I should let my son CIO, because he's not sleeping through the night at 4 months.
Terra
09-29-2007, 04:37 PM
I changed the title to correct my mistake saying that the article was new. :blush: I'm just so glad that I found something relatively "mainstream" to use in my arguments with my relatively mainstream friends and family, who say I should let my son CIO, because he's not sleeping through the night at 4 months.
Hey at least they gave you until 4 months!! I have a friend who swears by the "Baby Wise" philosophy and she told me I wasn't being the parent because David was not STTN at 8 weeks!!!!!:banghead: :banghead:
urchin_grey
09-29-2007, 04:48 PM
And yet some babies who CIO go on to be honor roll students, skip a grade and qualify for the gifted program at school and have amazing relationships with parents, friends and peers.
If you dont want to do CIO, dont but no need to tell others their kids are going to have problems :thumbsup:
Yet another passive aggressive thumbsup smiley. :olleyes2:
urchin_grey
09-29-2007, 04:51 PM
Hey at least they gave you until 4 months!! I have a friend who swears by the "Baby Wise" philosophy and she told me I wasn't being the parent because David was not STTN at 8 weeks!!!!!:banghead: :banghead:
:puke: Baby Wise is gross.
Anyway, interesting article... I don't have family anywhere near here so I don't have to deal with idiotic advice but I would never let DS CIO. And his dad would kill me if I did.
TwinKristi
09-29-2007, 05:05 PM
Intellectual advancements have nothing to do with the reprocussions of CIO. The article said that it would later cause PTSD and anxiety, not that CIO would make you dumb. :thumbsup:
The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn't like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships.
Well I definatly don't agree with this part of their study. One Harvard study from almost 10yrs ago isn't really going to change alot of minds. Things change dramatically in 10yrs. Although things may not say to use CIO or not to use CIO, I don't agree w/ bashing the choice parents use.
And unfortunatly not using CIO doesn't guarantee your child won't have these things. I have anxiety and had PTSD and my mom rocked me to sleep every night until I was 3yrs old. She let my baby sister CIO b/c of what a PITA I was to get to sleep for the first 3yrs. My sister is almost the exact polar opposite of me! Same parent, very different parenting styles.
TwinKristi
09-29-2007, 05:08 PM
Yes, and there are people who smoke their whole lives who don't get lung cancer.
But, I really didn't post this to argue here about whether or not to let your child CIO. I would never tell someone else how to raise their child. I just thought it was an interesting article to provide to parents against CIO. I have friends/family who tell me that I should let my son cry himself to sleep, and at least now I have empirical evidence from Harvard to use in my argument as to why I don't want to do that.
Well I just hope you'd use OTHER resources for your argument as well, not just this old study. For every study you find proving your point, you can probably find 2 or 3 contridicting it. I'm not trying to argue with you, but just be armed with more than a 10yr old study...
southernmom2three
09-29-2007, 05:22 PM
My point was entirely missed.
You dont NEED an argument against CIO.
If you dont want to do it then dont. You dont NEED to explain yourself to anyone and finding one random 10yr old study is only going to make you look defensive and not educated.
We can all find plenty of studies to support whatever pov we happen to have on whatever subject.
The truth of the matter is, CIO will probably effect (or not effect) each child differently. I can tell
you for certain I do not remember the week my Mom devoted it letting me soothe myself to sleep.
And FWIW, people who are saying a 4 month old should be sleeping thru the night arent even worth your time of day.
My kids happen to have all been sleeping thru at that point (and we only CIO with the oldest :giggle: ) but I think its the exception, not the rule.
southernmom2three
09-29-2007, 05:23 PM
Yet another passive aggressive thumbsup smiley. :olleyes2:
Your welcome :hugs: :thumbsup: :mrgreen:
southernmom2three
09-29-2007, 05:27 PM
Intellectual advancements have nothing to do with the reprocussions of CIO. The article said that it would later cause PTSD and anxiety, not that CIO would make you dumb. :thumbsup:
Ah your right.
But my kid might have a hard time being so successful at school and at home if he were super anxious and having all sorts of bad side effects from the 3 days he was allowed to CIO.
His younger sibs, btw, did not CIO. They figured out sleeping thru on their own and are all pretty similiar. So I dont think we screwed him up but there is still time I suppose ;-)
Terra
09-29-2007, 07:15 PM
:puke: Baby Wise is gross.
Anyway, interesting article... I don't have family anywhere near here so I don't have to deal with idiotic advice but I would never let DS CIO. And his dad would kill me if I did.
lol...I agree!! I just mentioned to her when I was first pregnant that I was going to read that book and she took off with it from there!! I knew from the moment I read it that it wasn't for me and my instincts said no way will this be good for David...but boy she was/is adament.
I don't really spend much time with her now...our parenting philosophies are too different and it's such an issue with her for some reason.
