Ok, dh and I currently have one dd - 20mos and are pg w/ twins due Feb/March. We are discussing getting the Paraguard IUD at my 6wk checkup. However, we have also discussed not doing anything and just letting God decide . . . we really don't know at this point if we want more, but we definitely don't want to make any permenant decisions.
So here are my questions:
How do you feel about assisted reproduction? I don't have cycles, maybe 2-3 a year. Every dr I've discussed it with just wants to 'fix' it w/ bc. I can't take hormonal b/c, in any form. Does not agree w/ my body (or mind!) We got pg both times using one cycle of Clomid.
How many kids do you have, and how do you feel about the number? Do you want more?
How did you come to the point where you just 'let go' of the control of your reproduction? This is what I am struggling with - can I really let go and let God? What if I don't want more? What if I do and we can't have more? How do you get over that?
There is a very good chance that if we did want more, and we used Clomid again, that we would have twins or more. This started out as a triplet pg, and we lost one at 7wks. Combined with a large family history on my side of twins, I really don't want to go that route again. So any advice you can share would be great!
Thanks (and sorry this turned into a novel!)
Denise
jessicap
01-08-2008, 02:15 PM
Okay these are not meant to flame anyone or anything, these are my thoughts....
I believe that assisted reproduction as long as you have approached it through prayer and you feel that you have the okay to do so...is perfectly fine. It is no different than going to the doc and having any other kind of medical procedure done. The thing to remember is that while it is assisted...God is the Ultimate Creator and if that child is not meant to be concieved through those methods, God is not going to reluctantly create a child just because you have been through fertility. God will create that child when that child is supposed to be created. Does that make sense? As I am writing this, I am hoping that the meaning of my thoughts are getting lost...lol major mommy brain today.
I currently have 3 kids. When my DH and I got married we did not even know what the quiverful family was. We used condoms and my DH only wanted to have 2 kids tops. When my oldest son was about 15 months old, I sat down with my DH and told him what I felt God had been speaking to my heart when I was in my quiet time with Him. And I told him that I kept being put to the verses that talked about how God knew us before we were born, that He knew us by name before creation, and that He knew us in our mother's womb. I felt like God was asking me what the point of trying to prevent a pregnancy was...because ultimately if a child is meant to be a child is meant to be. DH did not agree with me at the time, he really struggled with this thinking bc it shook up his beliefs a lot . And it was really really frustrating for me that he could not just see that God will not give us more than we can handle. I also pointed out that God tells us that children are gifts from Him. God will not give you a gift that you cannot support and take care of. IT would be a waste of His creation. So I told God that He had to deal with DH I took my hands off of hte situation. Nagging him and crying did not help it pushed him away further....and low and behold, 2 weeks later my husband came to me and we talked abotu it and he was okay trusting God wtih our fertility. DH was also very scared about any other pregnancies as our DS was a very dangerous pregnancy and delivery for both of us....DH was afraid of losing me and our unborn child. But he decided to trust God. 6 or so months later we were pregnant with Landyn. And Landyn faced some major things in the womb and had to be delivered at 34 weeks via emergency section and spent time in the NICU...he stopped recieving anythign from the umblical cord.
So DH again decided that we were going to continue to trust in the Lord and 4 months after Landyn, Serenity was concieved...lol
DH at first balked...but then he thought back to each of our kids and realized that there really is a purpose for each child....and that with every child that we had had we financially have been blessed. We just have to be good stewards with what He has given us.
somehow this got posted before I was done...I will finish in a different post.
jessicap
01-08-2008, 02:23 PM
As far as the number of kids that we have both of us are thrilled with it. And DH is totally okay with this this time around. Serenity was born with out any problems and was a VBA2C. She truly was a miracle.
I think as far as your internal struggle with giving this over...you have to remember that God will give us the desires of our hearts...if you truly want to have babies you will have this deep desire for having more children. Not just baby fever, but a desire that you cannot get rid of...Right now you may not desire to have anymore children. Like me, I had Landyn and had a rough recovery from the section and such...the last thing I thought I wanted was to get pregnant so soon...but I will tell you a week before I found out I was pregnant I got struck with baby fever and thought how great it woudl be to get pregnant a year or so from then...I found out I was pregnant a week later. At first I cried tears of fear and frustration. What was I going to do having 3 kids under the age of 4?? My youngest 2 were going to be 14 months apart...EEK!!!!! BUt I was quickly flooded with peace and I was thrilled and overjoyed.
As far as the amount of babies you have when you go on Clomid, know that only the right amount of babies that is supposed to be created for you will take...not one more child will be created that is not supposed to be...There are no mistakes by God's hand.
I hope that helped you. The only way that you will find true peace about this is through prayer and simply trusting God. If you do not trust in God all you will find is that you will feel it...it is not peaceful to know that you are feeling called to do something and you are not doing it...what is the harm in trusting God??? After all He knows you more than you know yourself.
foodie.yarnie.mommie.
01-08-2008, 02:34 PM
Jessicap- Wow mama, I thought your posts were beautifully put.
I too struggled with the issue of family size, even after a lot of prayer I still felt lost, so instead of praying about pregnancy and # of children, I started praying that God would open my heart to his will and that I would be better able to hear what He is trying to tell me. I recently found much peace about the subject and a weight has been lifted from me.
dlangeweg
01-08-2008, 06:02 PM
I have talked to dh alot about this topic. He has always been of the mindset that what will be, will be. He has no trouble doing without birth control. That being said though, there is a 10 year difference. His concern is not so much the children we have now, but children we may have in 10 years, when I have not hit menopause (I'm 27 now), but he would be approaching 50. Then again, much can change in 10 years . . . no use worrying about it now.
SandyG
01-08-2008, 06:56 PM
Jessicap- Wow mama, I thought your posts were beautifully put.
I too struggled with the issue of family size, even after a lot of prayer I still felt lost, so instead of praying about pregnancy and # of children, I started praying that God would open my heart to his will and that I would be better able to hear what He is trying to tell me. I recently found much peace about the subject and a weight has been lifted from me.
this is how i feel too. im not quiverfull but i always wanted children (more than one--dh is steadfast with only one). i had IF issues too (we did 5 clomid rounds before i got pg naturally and clomid dried me up sooo badly!!!! i had no CM whatsoever __SORRY TMI :lostit:) .
I let GOd help me . it was hard for me to be ok with only one and I truly thank GOd he helped me . it took awhile though.
hope you dont mind me posting as we not quiverfull (ahh would loved though)
delicatefade
01-08-2008, 08:53 PM
Jessicap- Wow mama, I thought your posts were beautifully put.
I too struggled with the issue of family size, even after a lot of prayer I still felt lost, so instead of praying about pregnancy and # of children, I started praying that God would open my heart to his will and that I would be better able to hear what He is trying to tell me. I recently found much peace about the subject and a weight has been lifted from me.
This is a great point. It is only when we open our heart to God's will, and live in obedience to Him, that He gives us the desires of our heart (which, not-coincidently, will be alignment with His will).
While I am struggling right now with the desire to let go and give God control of my fertility, I know that my husband would not be ready for that yet, and so I know that I will have to pray and wait.
cooldrinkofwater
01-10-2008, 12:16 PM
Funny.... I was thinking about posting a very similar question. I have 2 kids. My youngest turns 1 next month. I know I want more, but we are not ready yet.
The posts are beautiful. Thanks for the thoughts and the trust you have in God and the trust you inspire in me.
