View Full Version : Not sure where this should go. Need opinions.

01-16-2008, 01:22 PM
I'm really not sure which forum this should go in. Mods feel free to move it if this is the wrong place.

I need opinions on the situation I am in.

I found out through a local mom's group that there was a mother in desperate need of breastmilk for her LO. I contacted the mom in question because I am breastfeeding my DD.

Her LO was a preemie. She chose not to breastfeed. Very shortly after LO was born they figured out little one is highly intolerant of all formulas. LO almost ended up having to get a G-tube at one point due to failure to thrive. Their physician recommended donor breastmilk. Mom can't afford the breastmilk bank milk because she has no insurance.

LO is now thriving on breastmilk.

When I approached mom I let her know that I was breastfeeding my DD. I also let her know that I would only be able to provide a small amount of milk each week as my DD eats throughout the day and I can only pump an ounce or two from each breast after each feed. I also let her know that there was no way I could provide enough milk to feed both little ones.

Mom said that was wonderful and they had several donors etc. I contacted her before christmas to let her know I had about 55 ounces for her. I didn't hear from her.

Shortly after new years she contacted me in desperation. She said that they had run out of milk and little one had ended up in the hospital.

I met her and dropped off the milk I had.

Since then she has been calling me several times a day wanting to know why I can't pump more milk and begging me repeatedly to get more to them. She now has friends of hers calling me to tell me the sob story of the baby and why can't I pump more milk than I am for them. She is also sending e-mails to me several times a day.

I feel really terrible. I can only pump so much. I let her know from the get go that I would not be able to be the baby's only source of food. I don't know what to do. I am getting calls as late as 9:00 at night about this.

I feel horrible for the baby and I want to help but I can only do so much ya know? :cry: Now I am just getting annoyed with all of the pressure on me to produce. I feel like a dairy cow up for market or something.

So what would you do in this situation? Thanks in advance for any advice.

01-16-2008, 01:55 PM
All I can say is that the mama should be thankful for every ounce you give her and she and her friends she NOT be calling you. You also told her that you can only donate a little bit. I think she is completely wrong to be hasseling you.

01-16-2008, 02:09 PM
Wow... maybe this mama should think about relactating. That's really wrong of her to put so much pressure on you. If worse comes to worse I would honestly call the police and have them stop her and her friends from harassing you. If that doesn't work then maybe you should change your phone number. So sorry this is happening, Mama. Also I think you should block her email address from your inbox.

So sorry, Mama. What a nightmare!:hugs:

01-16-2008, 03:25 PM
That would hack me off.

Have you pointed her towards Milkshare?

01-16-2008, 03:29 PM
That would hack me off.

Have you pointed her towards Milkshare?

I've heard of Milkshare before but don't know the web address. I guess I should google it and e-mail it to her. :thumbsup:

01-16-2008, 03:33 PM
wow--that's so sad and kind of scary---I mean for you and lo-her mom must just feel desperate but to call you and ask why you can't pump more must be stressful. Maybe she can try relactating herself?

01-16-2008, 06:47 PM
Wow, how obnoxious of her to take advantage of your generosity. I GUESS I can understand a little; she must be feeling desperate... but she is behaving wildly inappropriately. That's so wrong of her friends to be joining in on the harrassment too - they don't have as much of an excuse and should be the voice of reason.

01-16-2008, 07:50 PM
if u have lawyer friends they can write up a cease and desist letter and send them to all the people hassling u... thats bull crap

in the sensitive forum there is a mama who posted a herbal regine to get her milk supply up... may be that will help the lady out

01-16-2008, 09:43 PM
well, milkshare is www.milkshare.org but I'm not sure if sure if other moms should be subjected to the harrassment ya know?

Personally, I'd have tolerated about 3 calls on the subject before bluntly telling her to never contact me again.

:hugs: You're an awsome person for having given her *ANY*

has she tried to relactate?

01-16-2008, 09:46 PM
I would tell her to bug off. and as a mom of a baby who was on the super hypoallergenic formula with a g-tube I can guarantee it's not that bad and something would work for her baby.

01-17-2008, 09:15 PM
maybe she can call the local LLL leader and ask if anyone there would be willing to pump for her. At my LLL group there is another mama who volunteer. i pump for someone too.
I think its completely wrong for her to harass you. But she is probably scared for her childs life. But that is no excuse to harass you.

01-17-2008, 09:21 PM
Wow how sad.

She needs to take control of the situation and relactate.

Hugs to you Mama.