Kid spacing what's the perfect age?

[Angel3167]

I debating on if/when I should have our next child. I always planned on two or none so I need to figure this out. How far apart do you think is the perfect spacing for siblings?

[kannondicarpo]

I do not think there is a perfect age.

I have 7 siblings and we are all super close. We range from 12 minutes apart (twins) to 4 years.

GL deciding mama.

[flobee76]

i voted 3 yrs. our DD & DS are 3 yrs apart and it's awesome. DD can fend for herself if needed! She is PL'd, can get her snacks, washes her hands, plays & cleans up...

hmmmm :headscratch: sounds like I am never around! LOL!!! I am usually nursing a chunk during those times!

[mommyfrog]

I voted other because I don't think there is a perfect age difference. Mine are all between 19 months and 33 months apart right now and there will be 38 months between my youngest dd and the new baby. All the age differences work good for us. They all play together at different times even if it is the oldest and youngest. Good luck in your decision.

[Toby_99833]

I read an article about this. Let me see if I remember the ups and downs of each:

1-2 years:

Up: You are already doing all the baby stuff so you are used to it, you already have the stuff and you don't get rusty. They said that there tends to be less sibling rivalry/jelousy although that has not been my experience.

Down: It can be over whelming to have two children completley dependant on you (i.e. need you to feed them, put them in diapers, etc.)

3-4 years:

Up: You get a good break from sleepless nights, diaper changes, etc. Your other child is more independant and can help you as well as take care of themselves for the most part. You are also have not forgotten all of your baby know how.

Down: It can be a revolving door effect. Once you get done with the diapers and the sleepless nights you get right back into it. It can seem never ending.

5+ years:

Up: You get a huge break from "baby stuff" and have "recooped".

Down: You might be rusty on the "baby stuff"

Sorry I don't really remember the 5+ years stuff very well. That is all I could remember. Good luck!:thumbsup:

ETA: I voted 4 years because that is what my DH and I are planning on doing. We will start TTC #2 once DD turns 4 so that we can have out new LO when she is about 5. I want her to be old enough to see what pregnancy and birth is like. Plus I want her to be in school so that she has "her own life" and stuff to worry about instead of the baby. I wonder if that makes sense?

[babycakesknits]

We're spacing by four years because a) it'll make college easier (financially) and b) we're less likely to be overwhelmed with 2 so young at once. We only want 2 kids, though. If we wanted more, it would be more economical to space them closer together (as I am a SAHM who will return to the workforce once my youngest is in school).

[asianmama]

well dd and ds are 19 months and 3 days apart. ds and baby number 3 will be* 21-22* months apart. none of my children are potty trained :banghead: so that will get complicated. ashlyn can open the fridge and get drinks but she can not get snacks. so we will need to work on that. alex is still co sleeping and breastfeding- gotta break those habits.

i think what ever works with ur family is the right "space"

[Emma and Natalie's mommy]

my kids are 2 years and 5 months apart and it's not bad but i kinda wished we waited another 6 months before TTC so that Emma would have been a little bit older and more independant. Now that she is almost 3 she handles stuff with the baby alot better.

so 2 1/2 years is do-able if you can wait those extra 6 months i really suggest it!

[courtney_adkins05]

23 months here! right now the little one is 7 months old and the oldest is 30 months. they play together really nicely!

[talithakoum219]

As pp said, I don't really think there's a perfect age, but I voted 3yrs, because that's what DH and I planned to do. I hoped DS would have potty learned by then so I'd only have one in diapers. Also, I'm a lot less mobile during pregnancy, so I needed him to be older and a little less needy in the "picking up" and chasing him department. As it turns out, I plan to go to graduate school, and won't be finished until he's 5. My DH says we can get pregnant 8 months before I graduate. That's more space than I wanted, but I'm not really worried. It'll be fun for DS to know a little better what's going on with pregnancy and new baby.

[terrismez]

Like others said, I don't know about PERFECT, but my little ones are 21 months apart & LOVE it!

My first 2 are 15 years apart - LOVE that too, as I got the teenager :banghead: out of the house & now get to have fun with my little ones!!!:giggle2:

[erinsaal]

My first two are 4yrs2mo apart. My second and third are 19mo apart. I like both age gaps.

Sorry, I'm not much help, huh?

[RJmomof2]

well my babys are a year and a month apart its a pain sometimes cause DD isnt as independent as Id like so I said 2 years but 3 or 4 would be good too.

[Melissa~BHS]

I think that is really a decision that everyone needs to make based on their personal circumstances.

Here is the spacing of our children:

dd#1 and dd#2 are 4 years apart in age.

dd#2 and dd#3 are 21 months apart in age.

dd#3 and ds are 11 months apart in age.

The easiest spacing for me personally was the last 2 children. BUT my husband is VERY hands on and has honestly been an equal PARTNER in caring for our children from the very beginning. They were so close in age that they always played nicely together, shared similar interests, etc. The older 2 girls fight a LOT because of the age difference. My sister and I were 4 years apart in age and we fought constantly.
In my opinion, based on MY experience, closer together in age is much easier.

[Fullhouse]

There is no perfect gap IMO. I have gaps 18 months to more than 5 years. There is good and bad with them all:)

[jadekat]

Mine are 2.25 years apart. It was interesting when DS was a newborn. Both were still in diapers and DD was always hovering over him. When he started crawling they started playing together. Now they are best buds and it frees up alot of time for me. I can actually get things done.

[mom2riley]

18mo-24mo, love it!

[Angel3167]

Hey you guys are supposed to make this easier :giggle2: Right now I am thinking we might shoot for our DD being about 2 1/2 when/if we have the next baby. Should she be more independant by then? We like to be very involved with DD1. How do you not feel like your neglecting your older DC? That might be a whole another thread.

[sunfish_mom]

My boys are 10 months apart. When the next baby comes they will be close to 2 years between 2 & 3. I love that they are so close with each other. Elias gets upset if the baby cries or if he gets "in trouble". They recently started fighting with each other though but I guess that would happen with any age gap when the youngest reaches a certain age. I agree about the jelousy asspect. Niether of my boys seem to have any jealousy of the other. I'm hoping for the same close relationship with between them when the next one comes as well as no jealousy issues. So I vote other

[Bean]

I voted 2 years, because most of my kids are 2 years apart. I love that they still have similar interests and and share clothes or pass them on without being totally out of style.

[cokelush]

There is no perfect spacing - whatever you have will work fine and there will be ups and downs with it (as w/ everything) - I choose "other" b/c my girls are 21 months apart. I wanted them closer but it didn't work out. 21 mo. was great tho' - they are still best friends... unfortunately they both have lives now and don't see eachother as much as they'd like and they miss eachother, even tho' they live in the same town. (they are 21 and 22 now.)
Guess I'm the old lady of the group at 43 huh? lol

[Smidgerooski]

I like 14-20 months apart. My hubby and I are close in age to our siblings and it's great! :thumbsup:

[Kismet]

Our boys are 3 years and 3 months and 3 days (aren't we good like that?) appart and I LOVE it. Every spacing has it's up and downsides though. My friends are 21 months appart and play amazing together, they didn't have the jealousy we have or the "only child" syndrome that our first went through when he got his brother. However he's old enough to really really have fallen in love w/ his brother, be a good helper and such and now they are good good friends and he's not a baby anymore so it's nice to have one that is old enough to understand as my littliest enters the tough baby stage. I did all kinds of research and found that they suggest at least 2 1/2 years but like I said all spacing can be great! :) For us though ours is ideal if we have another it will be 3 years spacing again maybe a wee bit more or less. :)

[babydogs3]

I'd like to have my kids about 2 years apart.
I was told in the hospital that I should wait 18 months after my c-section before getting pregnant again. Although I was already planning to have them 2-2 1/2 years apart before I was told that anyway.

[October]

My daughters are 16 months apart and we love it. DD1 was young enough that there were no jealousy issues, and everything was so recent that DD2 wasn't really an adjustment at all. They are already super close, and it's so cool to see them play together. If my body were up for it, we'd start ttc again, but I need to wait a few months. I'm hoping #3 is no more than 24 months spacing.

[mamaejb]

i voted 3 yrs. our DD & DS are 3 yrs apart and it's awesome. DD can fend for herself if needed! She is PL'd, can get her snacks, washes her hands, plays & cleans up...

:yeahthat: My 2 are also 3yrs apart. It's great, wouldn't change a thing.

They are right now playing together... quietly, nicely. :thud: :headscratch: :mrgreen:

[Kwgrlup]

I say 4-5 years. We planned 5 years between our two boys. It has been really nice. I had lots of one on one time with the oldest, and by the time I had his brother, he was independent, helpful, and was abe to understand the changes better. Our youngest will be 4-5 by the time we have another one.

[jillianh]

ideally 12-15 months apart but because of problems with my delivery i need to wait 2 years though we will probably try for baby number two when she's 12-15 months instead of getting pregnant so that she is 12-15 months older

[ClothDiaperingMama]

I voted 'other' because I think it does depend on certain circumstances.

Like.. how old are YOU? I know that when I was late teens/early 20's and married.. I really didn't feel the need to 'hurry' so we spaced our girls out 3/4 years apart. I think if you aren't in a hurry.. that is the BEST spacing!
The kids were NEVER jealous of each other, you had each one almost completely by themselves until they started school, etc. Win/Win all the way around! Plus it gives you time to get off those pregnancy pounds, makes you forget the 'up all night' for almost a year memories, etc. :giggle2:


If you are like me however.. and you are in pushing past 35 and freaking a little:giggle2: .. then 'time' IS important. I have never had children who were closer than 3 1/2 years apart, so I have no idea if the spacing we are doing is 'good' or 'bad'. It is more about 'having the kids" than when. Does that make sense?:headscratch: :blush:

So for us.. I would LOVE to wait 3/4 years before having another little one, but I am not sure if Mother Nature will be on that schedule, so we are just trying to have as many as we can/want now. I NEED atleast a year or more apart as my body just does. If I had/have great pregnancies with NON sick newborns, then maybe it wouldn't be an issue.:dunno:

I think mostly though that there really isn't a 'right" or 'wrong' time.. it is what the couple feels is 'right". That will make all the difference I think!:goodvibes:


Good luck!:hugs: