View Full Version : Hyphenating names after divorce?

01-29-2008, 05:13 PM
Anyone here whose parents got divorced and had hyphenated names as children?
I don't REALLY want to keep my married name. I don't like it very much and prefer my maiden name. I would also like the kids to have my last name, even if hyphenated. I think I could talk their dad into it if I tried hard enough. :giggle: He told me once when I mentioned it that I was "making them not my kids anymore" but I think he was having a bad day.
So, have you had a hyphenated name and how did you feel about it is my question. Generally the first given (father's last name in this case) goes first and then my last name after the hyphen?

01-29-2008, 05:19 PM
My mom kept her married name but her maiden name was pretty long and complicated. I don't know what she would have done if she hadn't had us. I would think it would be hard for the kids to have to deal with the hyphen. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if both names were short and easy.

01-29-2008, 05:27 PM
My SIL had a son prior to marrying my brother, he had her last name. BR and SIL had 4 more children together. She hyphenated all their last names, including son so that all names would be the same her last name-my brother's last name. Soon, the son just dropped his mother's last name and used only my brother's. No official papers or adoption filed, just added the name on.

I'm actually going through the reverse situation as yours. I kept my maiden name and added husbands name without a hyphen, sort of a silent last name hidden in the middle.
My kids both had my maiden name. So now, all I will do is drop the last name and I will be the same as my kids again.

01-29-2008, 05:30 PM
Both of our last names are 6 letters long, seems kinda long but they're simple. Ohhhh, I have no idea what I should do. I really don't want to keep this last name but I don't want my kids dragged down by 12 letter last names, LOL

01-29-2008, 05:31 PM
The kids I know with hyphenated names all have the mother's name first, except for one. He and his sister have opposite hyphenated names.
John Dad's name-Mom's name
Cassady Mom's name-Dad's name

But they are your kids and you can do it any order you want. :goodvibes:

01-29-2008, 05:36 PM
I wasn't sure alphabetically if they should stay the same as what they were, kwim? That's why I was thinking his name first?

01-29-2008, 05:38 PM
I have students whose parents have done this and they drop one of the names...ie..cooper-sutton goes by just cooper. Makes it confusing for me as a teacher in the beginning trying to match names up with papers and faces.

01-29-2008, 11:09 PM
My aunt just left my cousins last name and went back to her maiden, no problems. Even now that she is remarried and took his last name.
My cousin was 6, my aunt gave him the option (pending his idiot father of course), he just wanted his name to stay the same.
I hyphenated when I got married (have since legally changed to just DHs name), and some of the forms don't allow for hyphenation. Lots of doctors offices only go by the last last name (after the hyphen). So, if you do hyphenate, there may be issues with some forms and such.

01-29-2008, 11:29 PM
My mother left me with my father's last name but change her middle name to my last name and took on her maiden name.

01-30-2008, 12:37 AM
I went by my step-dad's last name from age 9 until my senior yr of HS. Then, I hyphenated My biological (7 letters) - my stepdad's (4 letters) until I was married. I wanted to honor both my DADs. Some people asked if I'd add another hyphen with my married name. I said absolutely not! I was glad to get rid of the hyphenated name. It was hard to make people understand my reason (and "which last name is it?"). Besides, things are MUCH easier with the social security department. The 9 years with my sd's last name & 2 more years with the hyphen weren't legal... all of my papers & DL in those 11 years didn't have my "legal" last name, so it was difficult for me to get a replacement social security card 'cuz I couldn't "prove who I was" very easily.

A friend of mine had a baby before marriage. Her DS has her maiden name - his father's last name. She married someone else & took his name. Now, her 1st DS has a very long last name (that he doesn't like) that is different from his dad, mom, step-dad, & baby brother. When it comes to his last name, he feels alone. :(

Hope this info helps.