Toddlers adjustment to change

[debdebdebby13]

My 21 month old is incredibly attached to her grandparents, especially her grandma, they are the best of friends. I'm fairly confident she favors grandma to me even(because Grandma lets her have her way!). DD stays with grandma every day while I'm at school, and we still often see them on the weekends since we're really close to DH's parents. Molly has seen her grandparents 5-6 times a week since she was born and they are a HUGE part of her life.

Right now they live about 20 minutes away, but they just told us tonight they are moving about an hour and a half away for an indefinite amount of time. DH's dad got laid off about a month ago and his mom and step father live in the town they're moving to. They're letting them rent a house they own for super cheap while DH's dad looks for a new job and then they will save money to buy a house here. They absolutely do not plan on staying there for longer than they have to, but it looks like they'll be gone for at least a year or two.

I'm so worried about how DD is going to handle this major change in her life. She's going to go from seeing her grandparents nearly everyday in the same house they've lived in since her birth to seeing them only a few times a month in a brand new environment. I'm afraid this is going to be so hard for her to deal with, especially since she's too little to understand why they're gone.

We've got a plan right now for her to go stay the night with them about once a week for the first few months and then go down to seeing them as a family for a day every other week. Do you think this will help her adjust, and not cause too much upset?

What are your experiences with toddlers adjusting to major changes in their life?

Sorry so long

[Weezy6703]

Mama i've not had any experiences in this, but would just suggest you just be there if she's feeling needy. Have plenty of things to play with her/occupy her. There'll most definitely be change probably in her, without a doubt...but just be as supportive as you can to her, lots of love, given the situation.

The only thing remotely close is we changed daycare providers at 22 months old. We were using an in home care provider who kept 4-5 babies at most and she kept him starting at 7 weeks old. Then we went to a full blown daycare/learning center in which he went into the 2 year old class and has 15+ kids in there, and several teachers. he adjusted very well though.

[Auravik]

When my dd was 20 months, she & I had to go live with my parents in Alaska for 6 months, leaving dh here in Minnesota (not because of marital troubles, just insurance cr@p while I was preggo). We talked to daddy on the computer about 5 times a week, talked to him on the phone every day. Maggie adjusted very well. She sometimes cried for daddy, and when she did, we'd call and leave a message. She liked to leave messages. We drew lots of pictures for him and mailed them, and it was fun to get mail from him.

I agree with spending extra special time with dd. Also, talking about g-parents new house & "I wonder what they're doing today," etc. And, now, going to their house is an adventure, "is Molly ready for the adventure," etc. (BTW, great name! :mrgreen: ) Kids are pretty resilient. It may end up being harder on grandma & grandpa than on Molly.

Good luck!

[debdebdebby13]

When my dd was 20 months, she & I had to go live with my parents in Alaska for 6 months, leaving dh here in Minnesota (not because of marital troubles, just insurance cr@p while I was preggo). We talked to daddy on the computer about 5 times a week, talked to him on the phone every day. Maggie adjusted very well. She sometimes cried for daddy, and when she did, we'd call and leave a message. She liked to leave messages. We drew lots of pictures for him and mailed them, and it was fun to get mail from him.

I agree with spending extra special time with dd. Also, talking about g-parents new house & "I wonder what they're doing today," etc. And, now, going to their house is an adventure, "is Molly ready for the adventure," etc. (BTW, great name! :mrgreen: ) Kids are pretty resilient. It may end up being harder on grandma & grandpa than on Molly.

Good luck!

We like the name too!
Yeah I know its going to be incredibly hard on her grandma especially, if she ever goes more than a couple of days without Molly she's calling and asking me to bring her over.

[worldwarcaitlin]

No advice but GL mama. I'll be going through this in the next couple of years. I've been living with my mom since Viktor was 3 months old and she watches him for me while I'm in school. He's VERY attached to his grandma (and she to him!). Once I start grad school however I'll be moving out and I know that's going to be very difficult on little man. I hope your DD is able to handle it okay. :hugs: