Do you let YOUR CHILD go places with relatives?? S/O

[mistylaureena]

Okay so after hijacking a completely different thread...I thought I would ask here because it seems from all those post that people fall in 2 very distinct lines of thought.

So when your LOs are visiting at your parents house, do you let your parents take them with them anywhere.....do you let them drive in the car with your mom and father (your LOs grandparents) ?


OR DO YOU expect that your parents must stay home with the children at all times until you return???


THIS INCLUDES trips to the Park, church, grocery store etc...no leaving at all (unless of and only of an emergency)??

DO you allow other relatives to drive with your child in the car---given that your child is safe and in a car seat installed properly....???

I'm very curious to know what mamas think on this??


ETA: this is the hijacked thread where this topic was brought up---lots of different takes on the subject
http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=388330&page=3

[kaspears17]

Yes, my kids can go places with family. I trust my family and know they know how to take care of my kids, otherwise, my kids wouldn't be there.

[Deanner03]

I allow my parents to take my lo's wherever they want. That being said. I bought and installed the carseats. :thumbsup:
I think if you want to choose them, you should pay for them!

[SMKelley]

Hmmm. Well my in-laws have driven with my son in the car but not my daughter (she is 22 months). When we take our kids to visit with them (they are 20-30 minutes away) it is kind of assumed that they will be staying there, certainly since they don't have extra car seats. However, I wouldn't mind if they wanted to take the kids somewhere so long as they were in appropriate seats.

[connorsmama]

i allow family to take him where ever, it dont matter. if i didnt want them to take him anywhere, then i dont trust them enough and they shouldnt be watching him in the first place.

[jca61502]

My kids can ride with my parents, my sister, and FIL...that is about it. But yes, they can and do go places with those other people. :goodvibes:

[jacquelineoliver]

My children dont drive around with other pple unless im in the car. But my chidren are never with anyone without me anyways lol

[proudmommaof4]

I let them go with family, even one friend. For my parents, I always put my carseats in their car whenever they have them just in case. First off, my parents don't have carseats and secondly, I want to make sure they are put in right because honetly my parents haven't had to deal with car seats in over 20yrs. My inlaws have extra carseats that I just check when they pick them up or whatever to make sure they are buckled in right. I trust my family for the most part and if I didn't, the kids wouldn't go with them to begin with.

[logansmomma07]

Right now, only DH and myself are allowed to drive my son around. When we lived close to my family, I trusted my mom and dad to take him places, which every now and then they did. I totally trust them when it comes to carseats, I always left ours there and I knew they could install it properly, if not better than DH or I! My parents are very concerned with my son's safety, and not just in the car. I barely know my IL's, and they live far away anyways, so they don't drive him around either.

[icanonlyimagine]

well my kids dont normally go ANYWHERE without me. but I wouldnt mind if my IL's took them anywhere. we leave the girls with them but they never go anywhere. not for lack of car seats because MIL's car has them in there. my dad isnt allowed to drive them anywhere but my mom is.

[Christina]

My mom, my dad, my MIL and my sister. Those are the only people that take my kids anywhere. I trust all 4 of them with my kids and know they are in safe hands when they are with them and they all follow my instructions regarding safety and car seats and that sort of thing.
My sister is the same way, she trusts me completely with her kids and me and my mom take them every where. My sister has taken my daughter on vacation before and vice versa.

[mhr1406]

just me, dh, my mom, my dad and my MIL

my FIL is a terrible driver and my boys are not allowed to ride with him anywhere
other than that no one is allowed to drive them places (besides they are usually with me anyways)

[sunshine's mama]

Dp, myself only.....

but my best friend if I am in the car too...

I've been in so many accidents in my life...2 life threatening....that it just freaks me out a bit......(i haven't caused the accidents.....been the one hit!)....

My mother is a horrible driver and smokes in the car......so she doesn't take her anywhere...

[mom2LBJ]

Both of our families live nearby, all within 45min. DH and I are the only ones with young kids out of all of them so everyone wants to do things with our 3.5yo (10mo is still attached to the boob). We don't have a problem with them taking him anywhere within a reasonable distance and as long as they ask first. They have purchased their own seats (Regents) and I have installed them in their cars. They're all VERY trustworthy people, safe drivers, non smokers etc. He loves staying the weekend with my mother, SIL or at my inlaws.

[Kelolsen-and-Padawan]

When my parents visit they love to take Ethan out. they just use our car so the seat is already installed and they were both very good about wanting to learn to use the seat properly. I don't think my MIL has ever taken ethan anywhere but I'd let her after I showed her how to use the seat and she demoed to me that she knew how. I've let a few close friends take Ethan somewhere w/ them but not all the time- just a few times but I install the seats. I let my friend install the seat once and she said she's "very good at the Britax seats" b/c she sits for a girl once a week who has one (hse has to bring her to pick up her son from preschool). the seat could slide about 2 feet in either direction, so I reinstalled it right away. I owuldn't trust her again to install the seat w/o me there.

[mikoto127]

I let MY mother drive DS, and both DF & I do...but, MIL is a terrible driver, with an un-safe car without anti-lock brakes even...no A/C (we live in Florida, it's a must) and she is notorious for hit-and-runs (yea, she hits, and drives off) so NO way does she drive him anywhere...but she doesn't babysit much.

[JenB1983]

I allow anyone I know to take my kiddos. Does it happen often? No. But I'm ok with any of my friends driving my kiddos somewhere. I trust that they would take the necessary precautions(they are all parents too).

[IslandHippie]

I do allow my parents to drive DS, but *I* have to install the car seat. They aren't very good at it, although they did use car seats when we were young, despite it not being common back then. They understand how opinionated I am when it comes to proper car seat safety, and agree with me for the most part (we've had some disagreements about ERF).

My parents are both very good drivers. Neither has been in an at-fault accident in ~35 years of driving, and they have NEVER been in a serious accident at all, because they are just really good drivers.

MIL, however, has never been and will never be allowed to drive DS. She is a *horrible* driver, and has been in many accidents (minor and major). I do not even like getting in the car with her.

Only two other people have driven DS (besides my husband and myself) - Natasha, who watched him briefly while I volunteered, and my sister. Both times, I was in the car.

[camelfam]

As long as I trust the driver I would allow it, but that being said it probably won't happen very much because the only carseat that fits my daughter is in my car. So whoever is driving would have to drive my car. Right now my DD is at my Dad's office visiting (his business is 2 minutes up the road) and he left his car here and took my car.

[frenchie]

Only close relatives and close friends. I think it's VERY important to foster relationships with family. I trust my family implicitly with my children. I don't allow anybody to take the baby, because she still needs me close for nursing, but family is free to take Kai to the park, beach, concert in the park...whatever they want, as long as I approve of the location. I even let my mom take my son to an art show/book reading in Santa Monica once. I have left my son over night with his nana a handful of times, so DH and I could go to a concert. We went to Vegas once for a weekend too. Kai was 3 before I allowed any of that. He was able to consent to spending the weekend with his nana. He ADORES his nana.
At any rate, I think it's unreasonable to expect family to stay at home with the kids. Frankly, it's boring!! One thing I LOVED as a child, was going places with my grandparents. I won't deprive my children the same fun I had as a child.

[~Sherry~]

DD is allowed to go anywhere with my parents. My mom takes her alot, sometimes over night. It's nothing for my mom to come pick her up and bring her home. DD is almost 22 months, but she's been riding since she was an infant. My parents have the same carseat (different color) as we do, and I have taught her how to install them properly.

That being said, other than my mom unless WE have installed our seat in someone's vehicle that is the only time she will ride with someone else. I will install it in my aunts car if we are all going somewhere. We take turns driving and I think she's driven her alone once. We both had to work one day and DH wanted to make me pottery art for Mothers' Day, so he installed his seat in our good friends car so she could take her to paint pottery.

There have been a few more random times that someone has taken DD, but I don't mind someone taking her out. Her going out with anyone other than my parents has been a long time ago just because I don't work anymore. But it doesn't bother me at all. Because my parents were willing to get her carseat and have it installed properly. They don't smoke or drink, and have no other issues (for lack of a better word) that would let me think they would put her in harms way. She has a better chance at walking upstairs and falling at my parents, than being in a wreck in our little itty bitty town.

[erinsaal]

Yes. I have bought car seats/boosters for my parents cars, sisters car, and MIL's car. I let my mom, dad, sister, or MIL take the girls wherever/whenever they want. (OK, so my MIL hasnt taken DD#3 yet). My mom has taken DD#! and DD#2 out of town on numerous occasions to other states (7+ hours away). I trust my parents and my sister 100% with my girls.

DD#1 just got back from a weekend away with MIL (4 hour drive).

I buy the seats and make sure they are installed correctly. I check them weekly to make sure as well.

[Terra]

Okay so after hijacking a completely different thread...I thought I would ask here because it seems from all those post that people fall in 2 very distinct lines of thought.

So when your LOs are visiting at your parents house, do you let your parents take them with them anywhere.....do you let them drive in the car with your mom and father (your LOs grandparents) ?


OR DO YOU expect that your parents must stay home with the children at all times until you return???


THIS INCLUDES trips to the Park, church, grocery store etc...no leaving at all (unless of and only of an emergency)??

DO you allow other relatives to drive with your child in the car---given that your child is safe and in a car seat installed properly....???

I'm very curious to know what mamas think on this??

Good idea about the new thread! I was thinking that...and hey even if we don't all agree...I love discussing stuff like this! Never know what you might learn and see from another perspective!! Gosh on a lot of other boards I've been on it would be big ole' drama and you could never discuss such topics!! :giggle:

Okay, me...as of now...only DH and myself drive our child around. We only leave him though for maybe 2 hours at a time when we do go to a movie or dinner which is about once every 3 months. We prefer to take him with us [to dinner, not the movies! LOL]...

I can't say for certain though about in the future...you just never know...Like when I go in for my C Section...it may be a "have to" kind of thing.

[AlisonR80]

Misty- thanks for the s/o!

I voted they can go with a select few, aside from grandparents I would let older children (grade school age) go in a friend's car with his parents, or with my best friend. People I trust.

No need to be stranded at home :goodvibes:

[Kanga]

Both parents and all of our siblings are allowed to take our kids places, provided we install the seats, and give them a review of how to use it. We have evenflo triumph advances for carseats and the selling point for us was that they are very grandparent friendly.

[Kaci]

Looking back, I'm pretty sure no one has ever driven DS except for Dh and me. We don't have an actual rule about it, we just both come from families full of bad drivers :giggle: Imight let my dad drive but I would have to think about it. Our family is very supportive and interested in proper car seat usage though!

[mom2riley]

I voted a select few. I have provided my mom and step-dad with car seats. I have spares for my sister in the rare case she drives them somewhere. My mom, step dad or sister could take them when/where they want. My sister is living with me so we usually all go together, but my mom will take the kids places when she has them and my step dad likes to take DS over night once a month so he will drive him around then. I have driven in the car with my neighbor (and good friend) driving and my kids in the back, I would trust her driving my children. Other then that I don't have many friends here in VA so it is hard to say if I was back home (CA) who I would allow to drive them. The list would most likely extend and include my Aunt, Grandpa and BFF.

[House of Blue]

I voted they could go with anyone... but I'm picky about who they go with. I have to trust the people that drive off with them. Sometimes it isn't a family member and there are a few family members I wouldn't let drive my kids around anyway. It's a judgment call each and every time with each individual and it's not like there is much need for anyone to be driving them around anyway.

My twins turn 4 in a couple weeks, My MIL will pick them up on their birthday for a couple hours and take them shopping to pick out their birthday gift and out for a special meal, maybe somewhere fun afterward. I'm perfectly fine with that, she takes my van because their seats are already installed and ready to go.

[p1p3r]

Family, friends, babysitter.

As long as they're responsible drivers and use an appropriate carseat, I have no issues whatsoever.

[chrisnsteph1022]

I said never. My mom has picked up DS once from daycare when I wasn't going to make it before they closed. That's it. And for that matter, they don't stay overnight with anyone. My mom has kept my 2yo once overnight. We don't even leave them for babysitting. It's not that we don't trust anyone else, but we have not found the need yet to have a night out or whatever without them. We enjoy spending every moment we can with them (we both work full-time).

[Shyla]

My kiddos all but the youngest are allowed to go places with my parents (not dhs) My dad even on occation takes them flying (they love going places in the plane with my dad and well I trust him in the air more than anyone else) I would not let them fly with my grandma though or drive with her. As for relatives just my parents and my husbands brother. There are a few select friends who are allowed to go places with our kiddos (drive them or watch them) We are very picky about the saftey of the kids.

[clothmamaof4]

I had to choose select few. My parents, my grandparents, my Aunt and my sisters are allowed to drive my kids to and from school, church, the park, where ever, I trust them because they value my kids lives as much as I do and would do anything to keep them safe. Whenit comes to my husbands family members it is total opposite and they are NEVER EVER EVER allowed to drive my kids NOT EVEN in an emergency, they are ONLY allowed to call 911 and have an ambulance transport them if something is wrong. PERIOD! His family are some of the worst drivers ever!!!! They have gotten really bad at watching the kids too not to mention the war zone they live in called inner city Houston and therefore aren't even allowed to babysit anymore! My side of the family absolutely, his side, never in a million years! And it's not just my opinion, it was his idea because he feels stronger about this than I do....... He trusts my family more than he trusts his own!

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

Providing my family has carseats, they can take the kids with them when they are in their care.

[SmileyMoo]

my children never go anywhere without me. They've never even spent the night away from me but I'm not close to most of my family other than my sister and she's got 4 kids of her own to look after so... :D If I were close to my family then I would trust them out with my kids...maybe? LOL

[4chixmama]

They go with my mil a lot. They have gone with my parents, but we don't have much of a relationship with them, so not very often. The older 3 have gone with a few close friends as well. As long as the carseat is properly installed I don't have a problem with it.

[APmommy712]

Me, DH or MIL/FIL. My mom is a bad driver in my opinion so she has never drove Ava.

[MomSmoo]

Our parks and such are all in walking distance (as is the grocery store, CVS, bagel shop and coffee shop) so when my parents are staying with us, they walk around with the kids. They aren't forbidden from taking the car, they just don't.

When we go to visit them -- since they are 4 hours away -- it is assumed that we, as the parents, will be taking them places. I wouldn't know why my parents would take them anywhere without us. There is nothing to do and it isn't like DH and I have friends there or anything (we don't, happily).

[newuanda]

Certain people are allowed to drive my kids, but we haven't really come across it yet because we live 10 hours from my parents, 7 hours from my husbands, and the closest relatives are 3 1/2 hours away.
My husbands parents - definitely no way. His dad doesn't look behind him when he starts to back up. His mom is a gas on gas off type of person and I get sick every time I ride with her. Two of his siblings no way. His sister, probably, but I would make sure they were buckled in correctly.
My parents - yes, but I would most likely be with.
My siblings - yeah. They are very safe good drivers, but again - I would make sure they were buckled in correctly.
When you don't have kids yourself I don't expect you to know a thing about carseats.

[grisaleen]

Hmm. I've never even thought about it. DD isn't old enough to stay anywhere overnight, and it never occurred to me that my IL's might take her somewhere in the few hours that DD visits. But in all likelihood, they won't take her anywhere because they both work and when they get home they are homebodies. We don't have anyone else close by, so this just isn't something I've had to think about. DD is almost 2.

[jpicasso]

DH and I only trust either my parents or his brother with our kids. They seem to be our only family who respect the way we want things done with our children.

That being said, when my parents come to visit, they almost always take our girls shopping and to the zoo and we are fine with that. We have no problem with his brother taking the girls either. There are members of his family and mine that neither one of us would let take our kids anywhere.

[cmarsh31]

DS (and DD will be) is cared for by my mom, step-mom, & MIL while I work. I picked out the carseats for my mom & step-mom & supervised install - they go about their normal days when caring for him, so yes, he goes to the grocery store, the bank, the mall, whatever. My MIL has only driven DS once or twice, but that's totally her fault. My family all has newer cars with LATCH, so if the carseats need to come out, it's not difficult to install correctly. MIL has an older car, w/o LATCH (because there is no need to ever replace a car that is under 10 years old according to her) and it's too "inconvenient" for her to have a carseat installed all the time - thus, no top tether bracket has been installed & I'm not comfortable with repeated installs using the seatbelt (particularly since she has severe arthritis in her hands and there's no way she can do it herself). The two times she drove him, she had to borrow SIL's car & I installed the seat myself. Oh, and DH & I both drive manuals, which she can't, so we can't even switch crars the one day a week - thus, they're stuck home.

[happysahm]

My parents, IL's, and good friends are allowed to drive my kids around. We usually inspect the car seats and make sure they are installed properly and straps are tightened or adjusted. I've allowed overnights with IL's, since older DS was 3 and that was because he asked me. I didn't see why I should tell him no. Now younger DS goes with him or he would have a fit. He doesn't want to be left out of the fun. I love my parents, but they never let us go anywhere with anyone and I always felt that was controlling and insecure behavior, so I choose not to do it. :2cents:

[katesmash]

Well DD is only 5 months old... and as far as my recollection, only has been driven in our car (by either me or DH), and my dad's car with me along for the ride. We use the RF seat that you can carry so it's easy enough to use in any car as long as they know how to seatbelt it in, but we've only been in those 2 cars... oh and DH's sister's van for a family trip, but again we were there too.
I don't mind if my parents want to take her somewhere but it's never happened yet. If they babysit they stay home (or just go for a walk)

[redneckmama]

There has never been a need for my parents to take dd anywhere without us. They have watched her before(overnight even), and we always install a carseat in thier car before we leave. It's just that they always choose to stay home. I would trust them 100% to take her somewhere if that's what they wanted to do. I would not trust my IL's to drive dd, but I also don't trust them to watch her if we aren't there.

[ecomother]

I am a little paranoid maybe, but I'm really the only person who drives my LO's anywhere, ever.

I've let my oldest (he's 6) ride with my parents a few times, like to the grocery store or to an RC airplane flying field with my dad, and even then I was worried sick. I would NEVER let them ride with my brother or sister because they scare the crap outta me when they drive, and have had many wrecks. My LO's don't ride in their friends' cars and they don't spend the night anywhere but home - they're just too young (2 and 6), but when they are older things will change I'm sure.

[Manna00]

I allow my parents to take my lo's wherever they want. That being said. I bought and installed the carseats. :thumbsup:
I think if you want to choose them, you should pay for them!

My MIL has driven with DS in the car--however, I installed the carseat and put him in it 3 times and showed her how to properly put him back in it. My parents have driven the car with DS in it (when we go visit them) but I've always been in the car and have been the one to put DS in his carseat.

[LenabugMama]

My mother and MIL alternate days caring for DD while I am in school. Mom takes DD everywhere, all the time. MIL has yet to drive DD anywhere, and I'm actually glad of that, LOL! I trust her, but it's just not the same as my own mom, KWIM?

[Proverbs169]

I put only a select few people... my parents are allowed to take them places (usually, we just switch cars if they have the kids- the rare times that they do take them), and my sister, and maybe a handfull of others could.

DH's parents- NEVER. We basically won't even let them babysit. We get along fine, but our parenting doesn't live up (or should I say down?) to their expectations, so they wouldn't take them anywhere. Plus FIL is an accident waiting to happen. :yuck:

[tararaboomdeea]

Only a select few...

It used to be just me, DH or Grandparents. But, my DD is in 1st grade this year and her school is pretty far away, so I have 2 people that help me get her to and from school. They are parents of kids in her school and I know them both very well.

But, I usually prefer they only travel with me and/or DH.

[myfrugalfunlife]

I'm pretty relaxed about this, the only time I've ever had an issue/worried was when my dd had pre-school field trips and they were being driven by parent volunteers-I wasn't able to drive for the first one and I was a nervous wreck, even though she ended up riding with a good friend of mine. The next field trip I made it possible to go so I could drive-but then I was a nervous wreck because I had someone elses child in my car too :nervous: sara

[IHaveSpirit]

My parents and IL's are both local and we allow them to take E anywhere - They both have been shown how to install the carseat properly and we check their installation periodically.

They HAVE to use our carseat. :)

My sister (10 years older then me) also takes him at times though she lives several hours away. She has two kids of her own and is great with carseats.

I have a few select friends that would be allowed to drive E if needed - that situation has not come up yet though...

With this new babe, we will play things by ear as I will be nursing him so he wont be away from me for too long (though I plan on pumping and doing bottles too).

I think that E was 6 months before we allowed anyone to babysit (and then only grandparents) and we installed the carseat for them.

[lemurmommies]

For us, we have no issues with close relatives or close friends driving DS. My parents, DP's dad, my aunt, my cousin, and two or three close friends that I completely trust. I do hate it when MIL drives with DS though, even if one of us is in the car. She's just a terrible driver.

[asianmama]

voted other
i am in the car when my dad,my sister, or my best friend takes the kids. i do not drive so i "depend on other to help me out when i *NEED* to go some place"...

when my mil took my daughter 2 years ago for 4 months- dh's aunt and uncle drove dd across state which made me a nervous wreck, and during the 4 months she was there i think all the family who is license with a car and room for a car seat drove her...not sure who all she spent time with when she was out of my care...

dh's buddy, an old high school guy friend have driven my kids and me around once but those were weird circumstances.

[mamaofthezoo]

If it is a close family member or a friend who is responsible, I have no worries letting my children go with them. Especially grandparents. When I talk to MIL I actually refer to my children as "your kids" meaning her kids.

It's a shame when parents act like only they know how to raise a child and everyone else is insignificant and harmful. :2cents:

[MyLil'Mountaineers]

I put anyone in family over 21. I pretty much trust any of my family to drive my kids anywhere. They make me install the carseat so all is good with that. The only person I forbid my kids from riding in the car with is my father. He insists on putting the carseat in the FRONT seat so he can talk to them. He is the type of person that is always right no matter what so it's pointless to try to tell him otherwise. He is also into doing illegal stuff, IYKWIM, and the kids don't need to be around that. We don't see him at all so it's never been a big issue.

It's a shame when parents act like only they know how to raise a child and everyone else is insignificant and harmful.

I'm not going to rehash the arguments in the other thread but I TOTALLY agree with this. Unless there is some medical problem that inhibits there driving skills (no matter what they may be) I don't see what the big deal is.

[Terra]

If it is a close family member or a friend who is responsible, I have no worries letting my children go with them. Especially grandparents. When I talk to MIL I actually refer to my children as "your kids" meaning her kids.

It's a shame when parents act like only they know how to raise a child and everyone else is insignificant and harmful. :2cents:

Everyone is entitled to their :2cents: but I don't think we parents who don't let others drive around our children think anyone is any less "insignificant or harmful" towards them, it's just how we prefer to run things in our own home and lives. We never said anyone else had to do that. :thumbsup:

[ForCryingOutLoud]

I trust grandparents and the babysitter. Everyone has carseats and is very safe drivers. Never had a problem in 3 years.
I'd be a little uneasy about letting my brothers taking my kids around because they don't have kids and I would be afraid they forget something when putting them in their carseat (never know!). But they never had to.

[::er!ca::]

Besides DH and I, my daughter has only been in a vehicle with my oldest sister, my mom or my dad driving. Most of the time I am with them too, unless my mom or my oldest sister are babysitting. I totally trust them, but I don't trust everyone... hence why DH's family has not and will not ever babysit my kids.

[bkwrm69]

I trust my family very much. (I don't have any friends that would want to take just my daughter out, most have older kids or don't have any kids!)

As long as my daughter is in a good car seat, I don't have any worries if they go anywhere. I think it's good for her to get out and socialize with other family members/friends. I'm comfortable with that.

[bethiecow]

My little one is always with me, so it's a non-issue with him. I've let my twins ride with family and close friends though. I've even let my 19-year-old niece take them to the movies - twice.

I wouldn't let them ride with just anybody, but family and close friends are okay. Except for my MIL. But that's another story.

[daddyn4wisechix]

We are in the minority, but we have never left our DC w/grandparents anywhere other than our home for maybe an hour. Even so, we have only left our oldest DD w/my MIL & my grandmother 5 times TOTAL (together for both of them). Our youngest DD has never been left w/anybody but DH & me. My grandmother took oldest DD in her car to get ice cream @ a drive-thru one time when she was 4 (I installed her car seat). Our oldest DD was driven home in our neighbor's car (also a co-worker of DH for 13 years, & equally as safe w/their children) & watched by her for a few hours when DH was in the ER for emergency surgery & DD#2 was newborn (and #2 stayed w/me).

Other than that, our DC have not been in anybody else's cars or homes w/out us. We LOVE our family members on both sides, but we have dramatically different views & don't feel comfortable leaving our DC w/anybody else. DD#1 & I had a conversation one day about who we would ask to help if there were an emergency & who we would trust to watch them or drive them to where they needed to be. We have 2 neighbors we would trust to drive them somewhere, but would only ask/feel completely comfortable with one of them (the same ones that watched DD#1 during DH's ER hospital visit) watching them for longer than a few minutes. I would let my mom watch our DD's for an hour or so, but she is always watching my one sister's children (she is a young, single mom of 3) & they are pretty wild :poke:. I love my nieces & nephews, but I am not leaving my kids in the middle of a bunch of maniacs.

We have some WONDERFUL relatives who live far away from us (7 1/2 hours) & if they lived by us, or if we were visiting them, etc. we would trust our girls w/them in a heartbeat. In fact, they would be our DD's guardians if the need ever arose. It's too bad they don't live closer!

DH's (divorced) parents are out of state & we rarely see them. My dad is out of state & my mom is in state, so we really have never had the chance to let our children develop a close relationship w/any realtives due to distance (& because of my wild nieces & nephew who are always w/my mom)... which sometimes we feel is a blessing in disguise, because like I said, our beliefs are VERY different. In fact my father told me I had a mental problem for BF my DC past infancy! Not someone I can leave my DC with. In some ways it makes us sad for our girls, but in other ways we are relieved.

[TJR2119]

My children dont drive around with other pple unless im in the car. But my chidren are never with anyone without me anyways lol

Ditto!:goodvibes:

[babyholic]

I seem to be the one who drives people's kids everywhere. I have a minivan and can fit more people, so it makes sense. Since I am a SAHM, my kids are always with me and we don't really have people asking to take them places.

I voted that close family and friends would have permission, but truthfully, there hasn't really been any occassion for them to go with someone else.

[Sweet_Fantasy_Fox]

Only me and dh drive the kids anywhere, the only time my mom will drive them is if we're going someplace with her and i am with them too.

[calideedle]

My son started going a few places with my Father (Grocery Store, Pet Store) when he was over 3yrs old. And about 6months ago he started going to the store or my my Mothers house to bake.

I bought Carseats for both cars and installed them and showed both Grandparents how to put my son in. At around 3.5yrs I felt okay letting him go with my parents for short trips.

My DD is 2yrs and too young to go somewhere without me. But I did install a Carseat into my Fathers truck in case DD feels like going to the Grocery Store in the near future.

They do not go overnight anywhere without me and wont for awhile.

They do not go anywhere with anyone else besides My DH, Me and my Parents.

I only feel okay letting them (well DS) go with my Parents because they parent like we do, drive safe and are VERY loving and protective of them (DS).

[bfoster2000]

Haven't read all the other posts yet but I'll give my first reaction. My mom can't drive but when she and my dad have the boys, they have, on occasion, taken them somewhere. Not often, but it has happened a few times. There have also been three occasions where I had out of town meetings for work and couldn't get home in time to pick them up from school so someone else drove them. Once, it was my neighbor across the street. It was only DJ at the time and she has a son the same age as James so she picked DJ up from school and let him ride in her son's carseat (her son was with his grandma across the street from us). Another time one of the teachers from school picked DJ up at my mom's house in the morning and brought him back there after school. I left his carseat for her and trusted her to install it properly since she has two children in carseats as well. Last week, the school administrator picked both boys up at mom's house in the morning and drove them to school and then in the afternoon, my aunt came and got my mom and drove her to the school to pick up the boys and take them back to mom's house. Again, I left their carseats. Oh yeah, I almost forgot that before James started school he had a babysitter whose husband teaches at the school. They live almost an hour away so she would meet me at the school in the morning and I'd put James' carseat in her car and then she'd take him to her house to watch him and bring him back to the school to meet me in the afternoon. Once, she took him to the park with her sister and her kids. I'm not crazy about other people driving them around, especially people who are not used to driving with children, but I'm not as paranoid as some people are. My mom also has two extra carseats at her house just in case of an emergency but she and dad don't take them out often just because they're too old to keep up with the kids! I guess I would say it's not only in case of dire emergencies for us but it is not our first choice.

BTW, I remember when I was 16 I babysat for a family that had a 6-year old, 4-year old, and twin 2-year olds. The very first time I babysat for them, the mother left me the keys to her minivan and asked me to pick up another child up the street and take them all to a birthday party at the park and then to the local Christmas parade, McDonalds, and back home. I also babysat for another family that routinely had me pick up their children at daycare and bring them home to watch them until the parents got home. This was 16 years ago and the rules about carseats were not nearly as strict as they are now. With those kids, the mother would leave the baby's carseat at daycare for me and the others just rode in seatbelts (and all we had were lap belts!)

I have a babysitter (18) that offered to take my boys to the zoo with her sister and mother and their kids but I told her I'd rather not have her driving them right now. I guess for us it's on a case by case basis.

[kbrooks24]

I dont let them go anywhere w/ my kids honestly, I'm just paranoid about what ifs.

[hellomrzebranes]

Heck yeah I let my family take my son alone. It is RARE that I ever get out alone because our family lives 8 hours away, so when we visit them I let them have my son and I go out! I always install the car seat myself so I know it's safe.

[ceilismom]

It REALLY depends on the relative. My sister and her DH, my dad and stepmom, no problem. ANY of the ILs, no stinking way! And lest you think it's a double standard: FIL is 89, MIL is 65, they drive like old people who should have been in a home years ago. BIL is a very aggressive driver who scares the cr@p out of me, so no way is he driving DD anywhere. My family are all careful drivers with clean driving records, and do not scare me at all to ride with them.

[baby1577]

My son started going a few places with my Father (Grocery Store, Pet Store) when he was over 3yrs old. And about 6months ago he started going to the store or my my Mothers house to bake.

I bought Carseats for both cars and installed them and showed both Grandparents how to put my son in. At around 3.5yrs I felt okay letting him go with my parents for short trips.

My DD is 2yrs and too young to go somewhere without me. But I did install a Carseat into my Fathers truck in case DD feels like going to the Grocery Store in the near future.

They do not go overnight anywhere without me and wont for awhile.

They do not go anywhere with anyone else besides My DH, Me and my Parents.

I only feel okay letting them (well DS) go with my Parents because they parent like we do, drive safe and are VERY loving and protective of them (DS).

I agree with this. Maguire is almost 2, and I don't like him going anywhere without me, yet. I will drop him off at my parent's and run to the mall, but 98% of the time he's in my care 24/7.

Last week my dad did take him out to the country club to play, but that was a special circumstance and only a 1 hr outing. It did make me nervous though. Just him being away from me, mainly.

We have a back-up carseat in their extra vehicle, for emergencies. If my mom told me "oh, I had to run to the drug store and I took him with me", I wouldn't care. But, I much prefer that he isn't driven by anyone besides me and DH (and mostly me, even then).

My reasoning is......if something happened to him and i was driving, i could be mad/hate myself. If something happened to him while a friend or something was driving him, I wouldn't want any hard feelings towards them.:goodvibes:

[topazdodge]

I chose other because none of your options really seemed to fit us. We live over 1000 miles away from any family, but we have allowed our friends to take Hazel in the car occasionally. We are anal about carseats, so we always install the car seat properly and strap her in and we are very cautious about who we allow her to go with. When we are visiting family I would not have a problem with her going with my Mom or dh's parents or our siblings. I do draw the line at my grown nieces and nephews. They are old enough to have licenses but I'm not comfortable sending my girls in the car with them yet. I do also have one sister & one brother out of 12 of us that I don't see eye to eye with and would not let my girls go with them.

[starryeyedgyal]

We've only allowed my mother and dd#1's godmother to take her. (haven't had the opportunity do so with dd#2)

We properly install the carseat ourselves and make sure they understand how to properly buckle her in.

We left dd#1 with my MIL once. And it will NEVER happen again. She is a complete ditz and that time we left her, she took Mad out without a carseat!!! She was only 2 yo at the time. I was LIVID!

[Sherry]

i didnt read the entire thread, but there are only a select few that we trust with our kids and that includes family whether in the car or visiting or whatever. they are older now and this still applies. my youngest doesnt ride with anyone if they cant show me that they know how to properly fasten him into his regent. i am the one that fastens it into their car. yes, i am paranoid!

[mamaofthezoo]

Everyone is entitled to their :2cents: but I don't think we parents who don't let others drive around our children think anyone is any less "insignificant or harmful" towards them, it's just how we prefer to run things in our own home and lives. We never said anyone else had to do that. :thumbsup:

Forgive me, I was rushing.:hugs: I did not mean to imply that people who wont let anyone drive children around think this way.

[SativaStarr]

If I trust someone enough to watch my children, I trust them enough to drive my child wherever.. .

[ShayneLeMaster]

Yes, my kids can go places with family. I trust my family and know they know how to take care of my kids, otherwise, my kids wouldn't be there.

yep, this exactly... freinds included.

[cakeums]

DD has gone with my parents and our old roommate without me or DH, has been in the car while my IL's were driving once or twice, and we've been driven by an old friend's fiance (someone else I've known for years) once when we were all going somewhere.

I wouldn't let her ride with my brother (he loves her dearly but he still has the invincibility complex at 22) or anyone who I haven't been in the car with before and am not comfortable with. I don't think I'd let her ride with anyone other than my parents or MIL without us though, at least for now. Maybe a couple of my friends who I know are just as nutty about carseat safety as I am.

[Terra]

Forgive me, I was rushing.:hugs: I did not mean to imply that people who wont let anyone drive children around think this way. It was a random thought that came to mind from reading over different forums when I was typing my reply.

And this is not me taking the high road out of town:giggle2: I stand by things I say and mean. I don't back out of the spotlight if someone disagrees.

It's all good.:thumbsup: :hugs:

:giggle: gotcha ...

[jaimegrrl]

Ok, here's the thing...

My parents live three hours away, so my side of the family is a non-issue. However, they do smoke in their car, and therefore, I would NOT allow DD in their car with them, ever.

DH's family... MIL and step-FIL have two cars. MIL smokes in her car, and it will literally make your head pound after 5 minutes, so again, DD will NOT ever be allowed in that vehicle. MIL has brought it up a couple of times, saying that she could clean it up, but fortunately she has not pushed the issue because I know how badly smoke "sticks" to everything, and I do NOT want my daughter exposed to that! Step-FIL's car used to belong to my husband, and I made him get rid of it when we found out we were pregnant because I did NOT want my baby riding in that car, I just do not feel that it is safe enough (it's a little japanese sports car)! He has taken their other granddaughter in that car before, but Ariella's car seat is a bit bigger and I don't even think it would FIT in the tiny backseat! Regardless, I don't trust the car, so I have no plans to ever let DD ride in it! If they had another vehicle, that was safer and had never been smoked in, then I may *consider* it, but honestly, I feel much better knowing that DD is HOME with them if they are watching her, not out on the road or out wherever else they might take her. I do not mean to be offense to them, that's just how I feel.

Now with DH's dad, he and his wife are SUPER respectful and careful any time they are around DD. That's not to say that DH's mom isn't, but I think her parenting style is just a lot more "relaxed" than mine, kwim? Anyhow, DH's dad and his wife do not smoke and they have a minivan, so I think that out of everybody, I would feel most comfortable with them taking DD somewhere. I did let FIL's wife drive my car with Ariella (and me) in it.

I still would prefer to keep it where Ariella is not alone in the car with anybody but DH or myself (and honestly, it is very rare for DH to take Ariella anywhere alone and I like it that way. I'm his "extra eyes and ears" and while I completely trust his driving, I know that I have prevented more than one accident in the 7 years we've been together!). As mentioned above, I have let FIL's wife and also my best friend drive with Ariella in the car, but I was also there, too. I will admit, it is totally a control issue, now that I think about it, but it is just trying to control the situation to keep my child as safe as possible. I do not like to take unneccessary risks involving my daughter, and unless there is an emergency (and even then, I can't really think of a reason why they would need to be in the car, if it were a medical emergency then I would think an ambulance would come to them ... I guess maybe to get to the hospital afterwards?), I see no reason why anybody but DH or myself should be alone in a car with DD. When she's older, maybe that will change, but I doubt it! :giggle:

Also, for the mamas with older children, do you leave the car seat every time you leave your LO to visit? We are planning on buying a Britax Boulevard in the next couple of months and that just doesn't seem like something that is very easy to transport, kwim? Especially when Ariella usually visits her MIL/stepFIL at least once a week. I never really thought about the issue of them not having a car seat if one was needed because so far, we've always just left her infant seat with them because that's usually how DH carries her into their house. I don't know if it matters, but DH's mom lives less than 5 minutes away from our house, so it's not like they are an hour away or anything, and when we leave her there we are never more than 30-45 minutes away at most (usually 15-20). Now I'm all worried because I don't really know that I want to leave the Britax every time, but I don't want them buying anything of lesser quality to use either, kwim? And if they did buy a nice car seat, then they would want to use it, and I've already told you why I don't want DD in either of their vehicles so :yuck:! I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, I guess!

[EricaLynn]

I said only me and dh. She can go places with her grandparents, but pretty much only if one of us goes too... I dont like the thought of not knowing exactly where my dd is at ALL times... call me crazy and over protective if you must, but that is how I feel.

[tessa1002]

I didn't read the original thread, but if DS is going to be in a car, DH or I will be there with him. We do install the car seat before we leave in case of an emergency (hospital emergency, not "OMG I RAN OUT OF CHIPS" emergency). I know I am probably being overprotective, but I have gotten very paranoid since having DS, and even more so after getting into a minor accident with my father a couple months ago.

[tiredmommyof8]

Our older children 21 and 17 used to go off with grandparents all the time when they were younger. They have gotten older and don't want to go any where with anyone not their own age (although we are VERY picky about who the 17 yr old goes off with and he is not allowed to drive until he is 18). My Mom doesn't drive any longer but when she did our older children would go off with her regularly. Our 13 and 9 yr old dd's have gone on a short vacation for the past couple of years with my in laws to visit their great-gf and aunt. We have a gf that comes to pick up our 2 older dd's and takes them shopping or to the movies when she is in town (a couple times a year for the past several years). 4 of our dd's (13, 9, 5, and 4) occasionally go shopping or to lunch with my sister. The babies go nowhere without myself or my husband.

[FancifulFanny]

I always install the carseat even for our friends with kids because they aren't used to the installation of the Britax (and I don't think my little mommy at 75 yo could manuveur that thing into their car...lol) but they all have good (clean) driving records and if I'm leaving him with them I trust the people. DH and I go away for weekends alone so we leave him with friends a couple times a year. I don't expect them to not leave the house all weekend.
My parents sit for me when I have drs appts or stuff best done minus Joey and they don't normally take him places. But like the time I had surgery and we were gone all day then they took him out and about, but that's my preference. They can drive him whenever they choose.

[junejay4life]

I let some people drive them, but it really depends on how they drive. Like my sister even though i love her, can't take my kids anywhere because i feel that she is a REALLY bad driver. I won't even drive with her anywhere. But if someone does take them i put my carseats in their car and install them, and show them where to put the chese clip and not to loosen the straps. Pretty much my dad, brother my FIL are the only people i let drive my kids anywhere anywhere.

[adahsmom]

I work PT and MIL watches both kids. We bought her carseats and she takes the kids all over. They go to bible study, school pick up and drop off. They even go grocery shopping for some elderly friends of MIL and deliver to the nursing home.

So sure, other people drive my kids around. I also let my best friend, sisters and my own mom take them places.

[MamaOf3Cuties]

I said close relatives and close friends because DH and I are both really lucky in that we both have awesome family. I wouldn't hesitate to let my kids go with my parents or my IL's. Now, that being said, there are a few family members on BOTH sides of the families that our kids will NOT go with until they are on solids because those family members would give the baby things we weren't ready for her to have :lemmeathim: Other than that we're both really lucky.