For those who believe in a God: I found this on another board

[akrancher]

I found this on another board I frequent and it made me tear up. Thought to share it with you ladies.


What God meant when he gave me infertility..

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive advice. We can list all the most popular ones: Just relax and youll get pregnant, or adopt and youll get pregnant, of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on Gods plan; maybe God never meant for you to have children. The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life?It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is; a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung, or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that was Gods plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; thats just a fork in the road I'm on. Ive been placed on the road less traveled. I've gained more compassion, deeper courage, greater inner strength on this journey to resolution and I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never have chose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice; I'll say "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

Take hold ladies that God has a greater plan for us as women and as mothers. We are in for the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink we've ever known! Take hold ladies...God will not forsake us!-

[smblake]

Kristen,

Thank you for sharing that, I have a deep love for my Father in Heaven, but that woman's words shed new light and I'm grateful to have read them.

I have often thought the same things myself; how much more joy will my husband and I feel when we hold another child in our arms after so much sorrow that we've had to pass through. I know most mothers and fathers love their children and want them desperately, but I think there is something to be said for having to wait so long and struggle so hard to get these sweet blessings here.

I too believe God will not forsake us... one of my favorite passages in the bible is a very short verse in Genesis... "And God rememberd Rachel." After all the suffering she went through to bring her sons into the world, God did remember Rachel and I often substitute my name in that passage to remind myself that God has not forgotten me either. Someday, I'll have my day when it can be said "And God rememberd Melissa."

[looking8186]

Thank you so much for posting that :hugs: It helped me more than you know and its so true.

[nicleigh]

Thank you for sharing that.

My pastor and his wife also had troubles getting their babies here. And after we lost one of our babies, he said to me "it may seem unfair now, but when you have to TRY, i mean really want to have children, you hold them a little tighter every day, you look at them a little differently."

My journey has been long and emotional, but i know i would not change it for anything in the world. Once i hold this little one in my arms, it will all be so worth all the pain.

[beckstar]

very beautiful.

[CalebsMome]

I really really needed that today.

[McMamma38]

Thank you for sharing that.

My pastor and his wife also had troubles getting their babies here. And after we lost one of our babies, he said to me "it may seem unfair now, but when you have to TRY, i mean really want to have children, you hold them a little tighter every day, you look at them a little differently."

My journey has been long and emotional, but i know i would not change it for anything in the world. Once i hold this little one in my arms, it will all be so worth all the pain.

Very very true.
Thanks for posting this Kristen--needed this today.

[amie815]

You know my DH and I struggled through two years of TTC and three m/c before our DD was born into this world. I truly believe that she arrived when she was suppose to. I think she does mean more to me then if I hadn't lost any pregnancies. I look at her everyday and know what a true blessing it is to have her. Even in the beginning when she was up crying during the night I still felt so blessed to even be having that experience. I truly believe that you never get over a loss, you just learn to live with the pain. It never goes away and it becomes a part of you and you see things differently because of it.

[jessie327]

That is really nice, thanks for sharing with us. I needed that today.

[Melmonkey]

Thanks so much for sharing this! I surely needed it right about now.

[Paulinemck]

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

:yeahthat: Amen!

[smblake]

I truly believe that you never get over a loss, you just learn to live with the pain. It never goes away and it becomes a part of you and you see things differently because of it.

Took the words I couldn't find right out of my mouth. I feel like I have grown more as a person through these experiences than anything else in my life.

[cuppiecakecarriers]

Thank you mama for posting this, it means alot to me.

[jcburningham]

I think I am going to print that out and read it every time I start to get upset or depressed. Thank you for that. I think that god gives us all challenges in this life. We were sent here to have trials. This is just our trial here on earth. Just think how blessed we will be in heaven, for enduring to the end! I strongly believe that if you can not have children here on earth, that you will be able to have them in heaven!

[jennybeth]

Thank you so much for sharing this! It makes me weepy reading it.

[JaylasMommy]

I'm glad I took the time to read this.
Yesterday, I realized, that I'm content with waiting however long it takes. For the reason that when I do get my blessing, I'll appreciate him/her more, and take the time to enjoy life with them. I do that now, but I know that good things come to those who wait. Sometimes it's not easy to hear that, but it's true. :goodvibes: And, I think that when we all get our BFPs, we'll be so thrilled, and so glad we waited so we can appreciate it more. :goodvibes:

[HeatherlovesCDs]

Wow! That's powerful. All my kids are IVF. I am a strong Christian and even though I prayed about the IVF before hand and we felt God was leading us there, I've often thought about this issue. Thanks.

[Primm_n_Proper_Baby]

That gave me goosebumps and a few tears. We have heard everything under the sun about 'why'. And honestly, I start to believe it. Somedays (we have HUGE struggles with one of our adopted kiddos, and the other older two are challenging as well) I feel like I never was meant to be a mom. I often have wondered what I did to deserve the inablity to become pregnant. It was my ONLY goal growing up for my future - wow, when it's all you dream of being, it hurts that much more. And then, we adopted and I'm not really able to parent the way I want, or live the way I want. Yes, we took on special needs children, so it was a choice, AND I LOVE THEM TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, but it's an adjustment, and I still question the whole reason behind it all.

What a great post!:hugs:

[vickieboggs]

:goodvibes:

[jacquelinemarie82]

Thanks mama! I just came into this forum because we are ttc....a relative just announced her third child and I was feeling down. Excited for her because she is a great mom but sad for me because I felt sure I would be next. I really believe I will be a mom....I just don't know when. It's hard to wait but being a mom will mean so much more to me than it appears to mean to others and for that I and my future children will be thankful.

[CalebsMome]

I'm bumping this up for anyone that hasn't read it. :goodvibes: I'm claiming that when we finally get pregnant that the victory will be God's and God's alone.

[crystalannski]

Thanks for bumping this Erin, I got goosebumps while reading it. I think I needed to hear that right now. If only I could find a way to take hold of that kind of positive attitude again....

I find the post date and due date of the person who posted this quite odd!!! LOL

[DaisyWalker]

Thank you so much for posting that; I really needed to read that today (got yet another BFN this morning)

[jenniferjunniper]

That was so beautiful!