Thinking of taking the plunge...advice...

[Irishmommy]

My son has been in kindergarten for three weeks and his behavior has progressively gotten worse and worse. He has trouble with transitions and really doesn't do well with a larger group (23 in his class, one teacher!). Also the last week he has been having accidents in his pants again. We've had regression in this area before; but I'm worried that he is more stressed about the school situation than I think. His teacher is super sweet and VERY willing to work with him. The counselor seems to be going out of her way to help him as well; but I just wonder if it's just too much stress for him.
So, I've been thinking of hsing him. Dh and I both were public schooled and I am a former ps teacher (9th grade English), so we both REALLY believe in public school; but I just don't know if it is right for my son.
I feel that he is gifted in a lot of areas; but behind in some areas as well (mainly gross motor, social). How can I know if this would be a good decision for us? Does anyone have any wisdom to share? I am really struggling with this. I want to do what is best for him.

[annes_cottage]

Of course I would encourage you to, parents are the best teachers...in most cases....because we know our children best. It sounds like your son would benefit from being homeschooled. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make. That first intial plunge is the most difficult....but I know I would never send them to ps....the thought literally makes me sick to my stomach. It isn't for everyone, but it is the best decision for us and our family!

Hugs!! :hugs:

[jaseyandmallorysmommy]

no one has your child's best interest at heart then you. No one knows your child like you. No one cares as much for his emotions and heath as you. You know in your heart if this is the best choice for your child or not. Listen to your heart. :hugs:

[1bigfamily]

Where do you think he will learn the most, be most likely to build good character, learn the values that you want him to, and help build self esteem? The answer to those questions is your answer. That's my :2cents: FWIW

[Irishmommy]

I can say at home for some of those questions, but he really is improving socially at school, making friends, etc. That is the one area that I am the most concerned. I am going to the doc in just a minute to check out his wetting issue. I went to the counselor this morning who did some quick tests and told me that he is adhd and that he recommends meds. I am so tired of people making this diagnosis after just a short time with my son. I just wonder HOW MANY illnesses have similar symptoms as adhd. Sorry for the off topic rant, I'm just so tired of the psychologists in this town!

I guess I am just so confused about this whole thing that I just don't know what my heart is saying. :headscratch:

[annes_cottage]

Bib hugs mama!! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

It seems to me that theese days when there is a child they don't want to deal with, they label them adhd and medicate them so they don't have to deal with any issues. I am sorry they said that about your son. Do you really think or feel he is adhd?

[stephaniehauser]

My husband says no home school for our boys. I would like to do part day. Some states have it where you can do part day home school. Like you do some things at home and the rest would be done at public school. Also remember kindergarden is not required, but he still has to pass the tests to go into grade 1. I think socially public school is important, but there are other ways he can grow socially. Most places that have community centers have programs for home schooled children to get gym time/ music etc. If your son is regressing that bad then something needs to be done about it. THat may mean he should be at home with you, or somehting else. DO what is right for your family. Maybe you can take him out and he will be ready for public school by next year? (sorry for the :lostit: 4 month old in my arms!!

[ChurchPunkMom]

It sounds like he is definitely very stressed by the situation. :hugs: I'm not sure why switching to hs would raise socialization concerns. :headscratch: So long as he has opportunities to socialize with other people, that really shouldn't be a concern. Besides, even if you start him out at home, you can always send him (or let himgo) back to ps later. It sounds like he may benefit from another year or two (or more) at home with you. Another thing to remember is that schools in our country have really started turning up the heat on the first few years of school. I'm hearing more and more stories of kids going to kindergarten and just being plain overwhelmed and stressed out.. and for what? Why push kids that young so hard? I don't understand it.. Especially when it is so much easier for them to get some of these concepts later on and they have NO problem getting caught up (and surpassing) those that learned it all younger.

Anyway, if my child were that stressed out in school, I'd probably bring him home. Let him develop and mature a bit more at home - you may find him asking to go back to school in a year or two! :)

[JackieLyn]

I just checked out the book "Complete Guide to Getting Started in Homeschooling" by Mary Pride...this book as already answered a LOT of questions for me! She has a website http://www.home-school.com that link to you local homeschooling support groups! Which would help in the socialization you are worried about! I would rather go the homeschool route than put my child on meds for something that isn't certain. :hugs: Best of luck in your decision! :D

[Irishmommy]

No, I don't really feel he is adhd. I feel that he has the symptoms of adhd, but I'm not convinced that is what it is. Today the counselor said that adhd is something you are born with, but we have only seen these symptoms since he was three and had some trauma in our lives (lost daughter, moved, mommy quit job, daddy changed job, got hit by hurricane, moved again, had baby sister). So, I'm not totally convinced that this is adhd, but I can't seem to get anyone here to do a more extensive test than forty-five minutes! I just feel defeted right now. I don't know what the right answer is. I feel like everyone is saying, medicate, medicate, and I don't think my heart is agreeing.

[Irishmommy]

The doctor seems to think that the wetting accidents are due to an infection (upper respiratory one that he has been fighting since last week). He did have a trace of blood in his urine, so that is why she thinks it is related. Anyway, I am going to observe some hsing moms that I know to kind of get an idea of how they do it. I don't want taking ds out of ps seem like a punnishment to him.

[annes_cottage]

Follow your heart mama :hugs:

Does he want to stay home? If he wants to stay home I would just pull him.

I will keep praying for your decision!! What does your hubby say?

[Irishmommy]

That last part didn't sound right. He got "kicked" out of preschool last year and we didn't re-enroll him in another program because we really wanted him to be ready before tackling another school situation. So, I think that he felt like he "couldn't do school" and that mommy would be his teacher for a while. I don't want him to feel like he can't do school again, if that makes sense. My dh wants what is best for him. He thinks he won't learn as much at home as at school, but I think he is also thinking that he doesn't want to stress me out even more. I am starting a part time job in a couple of weeks, which I could take my kids with me (I was hired under the assumption that I would bring my little one to work with me), so it would be tough to do it all. If my ds was more self motivated I could just bring his school stuff up to work, but I really have to be one on one with him for him to stay focused. So, how many hours a day do you all work on school work? I know that most hsing moms don't spend the entire day on it, but how many hours do you spend? What does a typical day look like? Maybe I'll start a new post for these questions.
Thanks for the prayers. I really need divine intervention here, because I really don't know what is best.

[1bigfamily]

I though it might help if I shared my story. My 10 year old had been diagnosed with ADHD and he is currently on meds. Every situation is different and I am not telling you to medicate your son, I am just sharing my story. :) He absolutlely cannot function in life with out his meds. Hopefully one day but not yet. He was kicked out of daycare as a toddler and almost expelled from kindergarten (we pulled himout so it didn't happen), expelled from 1st grade, repeated 1st grade on meds and only half day, stopped meds and homeschooled for 2nd grade, public school for 3rd and he was almost expelled again until he restarted the meds again. At the point he restarted the meds, we were even looking into a residential treatment facility for him (yes it was that bad actually worse). Now I am homeschooling him again after he didn't start the year very well in his new school.

I definitely agree with you that other factors can be involved. My son has many other factors that I believe affect his behavior aside from the ADHD. Anyways, we originally started homeschooling him because we realized that the PS system would never be able to give him what he needed. No matter how good a school is, they can only do so much when someone has high needs. In the first year we homeschooled he went from being behind his grade level to being at the high end of it. When he went back to school last year he stayed at the same level he was and this year he wasn't learning anything either. I knew what I had to do so I took him out again and it is going great. NOw i have all my kids home and I love it. He is much happier and he is learning more. We belong to a local homeschooling group and both of my kids are involved in sports activites. we also go to church and visit friends. He has a few friends in the neighborhood too. As you can see, they are not lacking and they are actually doing much better with me. I hope this helps you.

If you don't think it will benefit him to be home with you then wait, you can do it at anytime if you decide to later. :hugs:

[JackieLyn]

I would really encourage you to read a good book about homeschooling that answer a lot of your questions about it, i'm currently reading "Complete Guide to Getting Started in Homeschooling" by Mary Pride, i checked it out at the library :)

[1bigfamily]

Linda Dobson has some good books on it too. That is a great idea Jackie!!