Has anyone here done this? We are looking to adopt #4, want to adopt domestically, and are willing to take a child as old as 2 (though preferably younger right now; our third child is only 8 months old). We know the process may take a while, so we are starting now in hopes of a placement in the next 3-4 years max. so that the youngest child is not too much younger than our current child #3.
1) Is this realistic?
2) What do I need to know about foster-adopt situations?
3) Are we at a significant disadvantage for getting an infant if we are only open to adopting, not to fostering? We have gone back and forth on this one and aren't sure where we stand on it yet.
starstruck444
05-18-2008, 05:22 PM
I am in WA so I only have experience with how it works here...
You are not going to be able to get a placement through the state (especially an infant) without fostering. I am sure there are exceptions but terminating rights takes a long time. There are no guarantees with fosters, as the priority is always reunification with the bio parents. Basically there are levels of risk from low to high of the child being available for adoption in the future. If you are looking for a guarantee you would have to go private adoption or adopt an older child who is "legally free" (parental rights have been relinquished or terminated) those children are usually 5 and up (in my experience). You still have to go through a private agency for the adoptive home study and all the other legal stuff that is associated with an adoption.
We currently have a 5 month old Foster daughter and they are telling us we won't know if we can adopt her for up to 2 years while they give her bio parents time to comply with the court. It is rewarding and heartbreaking so be prepared if this is the route you choose.
juclark77
05-18-2008, 08:43 PM
Has anyone here done this? We are looking to adopt #4, want to adopt domestically, and are willing to take a child as old as 2 (though preferably younger right now; our third child is only 8 months old). We know the process may take a while, so we are starting now in hopes of a placement in the next 3-4 years max. so that the youngest child is not too much younger than our current child #3.
1) Is this realistic?
:blush: Yes. It took us about 10 months after finishing our classes/homestudy to get a placement. The classes took about 8 months because the people scheduling them were completely disorganized. We were willing to take up to age 4 with emotional or mild physical disability. We got a healthy 4 month old AA daughter. 8 months later we got her 23 month old brother, also healthy.
2) What do I need to know about foster-adopt situations?
:blush: You should probably accept legal risk placements, otherwise you are very unlikely to ever get a placement. In our case, termination of parental rights hadn't happened yet, but the mother wasn't raising any of her previous children, so it was a low risk. The courts take forever to do anything. Even though it was legal risk, we were able to finalize within 6 months.
After about 6 months after homestudy approval, you can adopt from foster care anywhere in the US. Most states have websites showing available children. Ohio and Oregon seem to have the most young children. We came close to getting placements from each of those states. You would get the subsidy amount from whatever state the child is from. There is more paperwork though, so that can add a few months after you are selected until you receive the kid. The state will even pay for travel so you can meet the kid (Oregon offered us that, so I assume all states do).
You should network with other adoptive/prospective adoptive/and foster parents. If we had waited on our social worker, we would still be childless. We heard about our daughter from an acquaintance.
If you want a child of a certain race, look in states that are predominately that race.
3) Are we at a significant disadvantage for getting an infant if we are only open to adopting, not to fostering? We have gone back and forth on this one and aren't sure where we stand on it yet.
:blush: You are at a disadvantage, but with fostering you could keep a kid for 2-3 years and have to give them back and start trying with another kid that you may not get to keep.
MCR
05-18-2008, 09:21 PM
We are CA and did fos/adopt.
Dd was placed with us as a foster child, and at the same time she was an adoptive placement (concurrent planning) The foster family who had her from birth didn't want to adopt anyone so we were picked as her forever family. about two months after she came to us the parental rights were terminated, then after she had been with us 6mths we finalized her adoption. she was 14mths old by then.
You need your foster license to adopt from the state as the child has to be in your home 6mths before they will finalize the adoption.
The courts won't terminate parental rights until an adoptive home has been identified, and the baby/child is either already moved there or it's the family who fostered the child originally. The don't like to create orphans. So if a child is very hard to place for adoption they won't terminate till a family is found, it can take a long time for some kids.
I'd go to the orientation meeting if I was you, they explain a lot of things you wouldn't think to ask.
happyhomemom
05-19-2008, 10:42 AM
We are CA and did fos/adopt.
The courts won't terminate parental rights until an adoptive home has been identified, and the baby/child is either already moved there or it's the family who fostered the child originally. The don't like to create orphans.
This is true in California but not in all states. The courts will terminate rights here and continue to look for an adoptive placement.
happyhomemom
05-19-2008, 10:51 AM
1) Is this realistic? Yes but it could be a long wait
2) What do I need to know about foster-adopt situations? The social worker will tell you what you want to hear but it may end up taking way longer than she says.
3) Are we at a significant disadvantage for getting an infant if we are only open to adopting, not to fostering? YES I would recommend taking low risk placements. Most babies are adopted by their foster parents if termination occurs.
MMCaroline
05-19-2008, 02:25 PM
My parents did fost-adopt for years before we actually got any children to adopt. My brother was actually not supposed to become available because his birth mother was "going" to work her plan. Sadly, for her, she didn't. We took my brother home form the hospital and his adoption was finaly when he was 4. We got my sister when she was about 6 mo old and her adoption was final when she was 2. And she was strictly adoption since her birth mother had relinquished rights when CPS took her.
It could be a very long wait for a child who is actually free. Even if the mother relinquishes rights immediately at birth it still takes time and you may not get the baby till after they have been in other foster home placements. I think your best bet might be low risk fost- adopt situations.
Good luck!
zukeypur
05-19-2008, 04:39 PM
I agree that legal risk sounds like the way to go. I was a foster parent and was only supposed to keep DD for 1 week. Ha! That week turned into 8 years. I got her when she was 6 mo and adopted at 2. It was a long hard road, but I'm so thankful I did it this way. While being a foster parent is hard at times, it's probably the best way to get your kiddo at an earlier age and bond sooner. I do know a family that was adopt-only and they did end up getting two kids, but it took them years to do it. Like pp said, most foster families adopt their babies. I knew of a few families that were only in to foster, but most eventually adopted their foster kids.
