I am literally about to rip my hair out today. My 2 y/o has been HORRIBLE all day we have done time outs, sent her to her room, and taken away toys as punishment. There are days that she is great and sweet but it seems like more often than not she is a demon-child. I have of course heard the "terrible twos" speech, but I have never heard of anyone else's child who throws tantrums constantly everyday. She bites, throws toys, scratches DH and I, screams, throws herself on the floor, and if we pick her up to put her in time out she will hit and kick us. DH and I are both at our whits end with her. Both of us have bruises and scars from her violent streak. We have not, and will never spank, we have also tried the tips from the "One, Two, Three Magic" book, but it seems like no form of punishment or things we tell her seem to matter. I absolutely love my daughter, but there are days that I don't even want to be around her. I just don't even know what to do anymore, DH and I are both starting to feel that we have let her down some how as parents, because there has to be some reason she is so angry all the time. I miss the sweet baby that she used to be :cry:
LilyGrace
06-06-2008, 05:16 PM
I really like this article for a new perspective: Cry For Connection, A Fresh Approach to Tantrums (http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/toddlers/tantrums.html). It lends its words to the belief that tantrums are a natural part of expressing ourselves, and that feelings should never be punished.
Everyone has tantrums. I have a great breakdown of the cycle written by a friend of mine who is a behavioural therapist. If you would like a copy of it, I'll send it to you through PM. It really helped me see things in a new light and let me help my child better. I had ones that liked to be touched or held when upset, though, so I didn't need to wait as long to teach or empathise or help find a solution.
Tavie and Ellie's Mom
06-06-2008, 05:46 PM
I really like this article for a new perspective: Cry For Connection, A Fresh Approach to Tantrums (http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/toddlers/tantrums.html). It lends its words to the belief that tantrums are a natural part of expressing ourselves, and that feelings should never be punished.
Everyone has tantrums. I have a great breakdown of the cycle written by a friend of mine who is a behavioural therapist. If you would like a copy of it, I'll send it to you through PM. It really helped me see things in a new light and let me help my child better. I had ones that liked to be touched or held when upset, though, so I didn't need to wait as long to teach or empathise or help find a solution.
That would be great if you could PM that to me. I really don't know what to do anymore
chataine
06-07-2008, 12:54 AM
the book "unconditional parenting" really helped me... it's by alfie kohn. it helped me change my attitude towards my dd..i found when we lightened up she fed off our behavior.
also we try to prevent tantrums as much as possible.. we try to pick our battles..and sometimes i think.."is this really that big of a deal"
camdensmommy
06-07-2008, 09:06 AM
I wouldn't rule out her diet either (as well as working on behavioral stuff and parenting techniques, etc). At around 1 1/2 my daughter developed a dye sensitivity and it turned her into a raging child we didn't recognize. Her behavioral changes were truly awful and scary. When we removed all artificial dyes and flavors/preservatives from her diet she went back to normal. Now she is 3 1/2 and she has typical age appropriate meltdowns and occasional tantrums. I shudder to think of what we'd be dealing with if she was still eating the dye. I know we would have had to have her professionally evaluated by now. And based on other documentaries we've seen about the rush towards bipolar disorder diagnoses on young children my dh and I think she would have been diagnosed with that or at the least ODD.
Anyway, it doesn't hurt to try removing all dyes, etc from her diet for two weeks and see what happens. The change for us was apparent within 24 hours but sometimes it takes 24-72 hours for it to leave their system and even longer for older children.
If you want to learn more you can go to my Blog (in my siggy) and once you are there go to the category section and then choose the food dye section.
betty_joanne
06-07-2008, 06:44 PM
Sounds like dd but not quite so bad. We don't do time outs for tantrums but we do them for hiting and biting. seems to help. Behavior gets worse when she needs a nap so put down toddler for a nap when you know they need a nap.
graymojo
06-07-2008, 06:52 PM
If she's being violent to the point that you have bruises and scars, you may want to consult a doctor. I think ruling out dyes and that sort of thing are a good idea, but violence is pretty serious in a child so young.
I just think it would be good to rule out a more serious problem.
