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View Full Version : What to do - leave neutral or what?


EasterBun
09-25-2006, 03:13 PM
I shipped some diapers to someone on 8/15 and I didn't get DC on them (stupid, I know). I normally ship via paypal so it isn't a problem, it's already included, but I couldn't ship via paypal that time because they didn't provide an address (in paypal) and they wanted me to mail them to a different address because they had just moved.

Fine, so I took them to the PO, and shipped them, because I couldn't do it via paypal. I didn't even think to get DC on the package. It was only going to the next state, so I really didn't anticipate any problems.

Supposedly, they've never arrived. It's been 5 weeks now, so I refunded her today.. a whopping $28 that I really don't have, on top of selling these particular diapers at a loss (losing about $6 on each diaper) This person has *zero* feedback here. Now, I *know* I shipped the diapers, but I really have no way of knowing if they ever arrived or not because I didn't have DC.

Do I leave feedback? What kind? I really feel like I've gotten ripped off here.. I honestly wonder if this person didn't perhaps see that there was no DC on the package when they got it, and has chosen to capitalize on that fact by claiming they never arrived :cry: The fact that they have ZERO feedback makes me suspicious as well.

I mean I guess there's a chance that they didn't arrive, but I have *never* had a package get lost like this... not shipping from the APC at least, and dropping the package off *inside* the PO.

Grr :banghead:

kimb96
09-25-2006, 05:04 PM
If this person paid, they have fulfilled their end of the bargain and that deserves nothing less than a positive feedback. To leave anything other than a positive is just wrong since you cannot provide proof of having shipped the package. The fact that they have no feedback is irrelevant imo. Not getting dc was your mistake. It sucks though.

FunnyMonkey
09-25-2006, 05:57 PM
I think you need to leave positive too, but please mention in there that you forgot to get dc, the package was lost & you refunded. That way if it's something fishy, the next person it happens to will see it there. I don't think there is anyway to know for sure - sometimes things really do get lost in the mail.

ObsessedShopper
09-25-2006, 07:50 PM
Aww I'm sorry Momma. I'm dealing with a similar situation, only being the one who bought something and it doesnt have DC on it and it hasn't arrived yet. It's one of those never know situations unless it shows up. You can file a lost package form @ the usps I believe our mailman told me after 60 days. That way if they can figure out if it was delivered she can be in trouble for mail fraud.

As for feedback, I believe that momma deserves + for paying as well as you do for refunding and being easy to work with.

Good Luck to you

EasterBun
09-25-2006, 08:14 PM
Hmm.. well I went ahead and left neutral after talking to DH about it again (he even remembers me shipping these particular diapers because we got in an argument over even stopping by the PO that evening). It doesn't count against her, we didn't have a "bad" transaction, but we didn't have an especially positive one either (it took her several weeks to finalize the deal and actually pay for these diapers). I've still lost money though. I KNOW I SHIPPED THE DIAPERS - how does that put ME at fault? Why should I have to PROVE anything at this point when I'm out money because I refunded her in full? What if she's a liar and HAS the diapers and just wants to claim she never got them because she saw there was no DC on the package - I *know* there are people that do that. After the "hazard" scam on the pin I wouldn't put something like that past anyone anymore.

I'll consider it a lesson learned - always get DC, no matter what, but I was in a hurry, I COULD NOT ship via paypal becuase she didn't provide an address with her payment (it wouldn't let me add on either :banghead:), so I had to ship it at the PO when I was already running late for DS's open house at school, and I just didn't think to add the DC. I at least got the diapers mailed, and on the SAME DAY that she paid... but I guess it's still ALL MY FAULT - seriously, WTF makes that fair?

Why would I lie about any of this, when I've already stepped up and refunded her? It's not like she filed with PP and I refunded her after that (she hadn't filed), I refunded her because it just seemed like the right thing to do, but I am still VERY annoyed by the whole situation.

In the future, I think if I can't ship via paypal for whatever reason (no address, for example), I'm just going to refund the payment and let them know why. If they want to re-send me the payment, along with a $3 fee to cover my cost of gas (the PO is 12 miles away) and the extra cost of getting DC on non-electronic postage, then I'll go out of my way to mail their stuff, otherwise, NEVER AGAIN! :banghead:

togg_mama
09-25-2006, 08:39 PM
I'm sorry, but I still think you are wrong to leave anything less than positive. You dropped the ball by not having DC. Not the buyer's problem.

(see my siggy warning! ;))

SheilaJoy
09-25-2006, 09:10 PM
I also don't think it was fair to leave the buyer neutral. If someone said they sent you a package, you never got it, and they refunded you, how would you feel if they left you neutral? You'd probably be annoyed. I know I would.

Samantha
09-25-2006, 09:15 PM
DC is to protect the seller. It is in your best interest to get it no matter what. You forgot, the fault does completely lay in your hands.

Who knows if the mama actually has the items in her hands or not....you will never know. But had you remembered DC you would know.

How would you feel in the other side of this. A mama SAYS she sent your package, but forgot DC, and you never recieved it. You would be pretty upset about recieving neutral feedback in the deal wouldnt you?

cowmommy
09-25-2006, 09:37 PM
:headscratch: it wasn't a positive transaction though so pos fb shouldn't be left. if you really think about it, it WAS a nuetral trans nak excuse typos:blush:

tessa1002
09-25-2006, 10:04 PM
:hugs: I know how it is when you feel like you got screwed over, but can't do anything about it. I've had a couple fishy ebay transactions. I hope she wasn't lying and the package ends up coming back to you. I talked to a WAHM the other day who just had a package come back after 6 months, so you never know! :crossfingers:

Bare Bottom Gear
09-25-2006, 10:18 PM
You know what I find fishy? That she had NO address for her paypal account!!!!!!!

That would scream "not good" to me. LOL

ObsessedShopper
09-25-2006, 10:37 PM
You know what I find fishy? That she had NO address for her paypal account!!!!!!!

That would scream "not good" to me. LOL


I couldnt agree more!

MamaJo
09-26-2006, 12:33 AM
You know what I find fishy? That she had NO address for her paypal account!!!!!!!

That would scream "not good" to me. LOL
Actually, all that could mean is she accidentally chose "service" or something for her transaction type rather than "goods".....for anything other goods, an address or even the option to ship via paypal isn't available.

I'd have to agree with the majority here.....as a seller, its your responsibility to get proof of delivery (which is really, proof of shipping as well - if you could prove it was shipped, you probably wouldn't have needed to give a full refund).

Bare Bottom Gear
09-26-2006, 12:46 AM
Ahhh! OK

kimb96
09-26-2006, 02:39 AM
I think that you were wrong in leaving neutral feedback. Would you have done that if that package wasn't lost? You can speculate all day that she is lying about delivery but you are one who cannot even prove that you shipped it.

OneFabMama
09-26-2006, 10:10 AM
I agree with everyone else. It's the sellers responsibilty to get a DC# (in the eyes of PP - a DC# doesnt do a darn thing for the buyer). I would be pretty ticked off as the buyer if I truly didnt get these diapers and as a seller I wouldnt directly assume she did get them and was lying and then I came online to find that I had a nuetral even when I paid for the diapers (reguardless of how long it took her to 'finalize' the deal you could have told her I need the money NOW or whatever).

I dunno. I dont think it was cool either. It's not her you should be mad at it - it's the PO if it was lost which it very well could be. I guess you'll never know.

:2cents:

Ontariomama
09-26-2006, 10:29 AM
Personally, I won't ship to any address other than her PP addy. It sounds off to me. It takes 30 seconds to change your information with PP.

Bare Bottom Gear
09-26-2006, 10:34 AM
Well, like Jodi said, her addy may not have been there because she choose "services" instead of "goods" so the addy isn't needed for "services". Selecting services *may* take away the addy and I know it does take away the ship button so you cannot even ship via paypal.

Luvmybabies
09-26-2006, 10:38 AM
I'm pretty suprised that neutral was left. I'm betting that had this happened to you - you purchased something, the buyer forgot to purchase DC and the package never arrived - you would would have asked for a refund as well and you would have been pretty upset to receive a neutral feedback for that - no matter what your feedback score was.

Menfusse
09-26-2006, 11:28 AM
If it took several weeks to finalize, then I would be on the fence about positive or neutral. I recently had a transaction with a mama who shipped the package without DC. I did NOT get it. I truly believe she did ship it, as she pmd me the day it went out and it was on a $6 transaction. It was also only 2 states away from me. But, it never came. I contacted the mama and she made things right. We both left positive feedback.

So, it does happen that things don't make it. It makes me wonder if the PO isn't more careful with DC packages since they know they have to put the info in the system. KWIM? She sent another cover, instead of refunding, which is what I wanted. This time with DC and it made it in 3 days...first class. So like I said, it does seem that the PO is more careful with dc packages. It's a thought.

clane
09-26-2006, 03:53 PM
Do you have a receipt showing the weight of pkg and zip code shipped to? The situation is suspect...Eggads. I thought of having to look up feedback when buying, but never considered when selling.

OneFabMama
09-26-2006, 04:24 PM
Do you have a receipt showing the weight of pkg and zip code shipped to? The situation is suspect...Eggads. I thought of having to look up feedback when buying, but never considered when selling.
Even if she did have a receipt showing that - it's not enough. PP wont use receipts from the PO as proof you NEED a DC#. Since a receipt wont show a package as "delivered" just because she had a receipt doesnt mean the package showed up to the other mama. And, a refund would still be the right thing.

And, I think it's kinda cruddy that just because the mama didnt have an addy on her PP doesnt mean shes a scammer or something automatically. Ive shipped to people who said "Can you ship here" or whatever the case is. And, if you couldnt even add the addy in she probably chose 'service' or something instead of 'goods' when sending the money.

I'd be MORE concerned if she didnt have a PP addy at all - OR she had negative feedback which she didnt. Sure, she's just starting out - but that doesnt make someout to be a liar. Again, :2cents:

Tootsiemomma
09-27-2006, 02:22 PM
I don't think it's fair for you to leave neutral fb, she paid, she did her part, things like this happen. I always use DC, and you can use paypal even if they don't have an address, I just use another ones transaction (someone I know very well and tell her before hand what I am doing) and click on details, scroll down to the bottom and click on ship another, then I enter the address through there. I do it all the time so it can be done. Hopefully this package will show up and ya'll can work this out.

EasterBun
09-27-2006, 02:54 PM
Um, whatever, I guess I'm a horrible person :banghead:

I never named names though.. I am above doing that. It was NOT necessary and...
IT IS AGAINST THE RULES

What a bunch of drama..sheesh :yuck:

lovemygirls
09-27-2006, 03:46 PM
I'm pretty suprised that neutral was left. I'm betting that had this happened to you - you purchased something, the buyer forgot to purchase DC and the package never arrived - you would would have asked for a refund as well and you would have been pretty upset to receive a neutral feedback for that - no matter what your feedback score was.

:yeahthat:

and also it's the SELLER'S responsiblity to get the delivery confirmation.....it's to protect you!!

OneFabMama
09-28-2006, 09:56 AM
Um, whatever, I guess I'm a horrible person :banghead:

I never named names though.. I am above doing that. It was NOT necessary and...
IT IS AGAINST THE RULES

What a bunch of drama..sheesh :yuck:

I dont think it's drama just because the majority didnt agree with you - you're the one who asked "WWYD?" and the consenus was the opposite of what you did...infact I thought this thread was handled very well (of course, except for the person who broke the rules :banghead: )

soygurl
09-28-2006, 10:00 AM
:headscratch: it wasn't a positive transaction though so pos fb shouldn't be left. if you really think about it, it WAS a nuetral trans nak excuse typos:blush:

:agreed: Why are people SO dead set against neutral feedback? I don't get it.... it's NEUTRAL for transactions that AREN'T positive, but AREN'T negative.... basicly exactly like this one. At least that's how I see it. Clearly I'm in the minority though.

~Kelsie

betty_joanne
09-28-2006, 12:31 PM
and also it's the SELLER'S responsiblity to get the delivery confirmation.....it's to protect you!![/QUOTE]

:yeahthat:

Just because a person is new here with little or no feed back doesn't mean they are out to get you. Have a little faith in others. I know there have been problems lately but now everyone is so freaked out about if they are being scammed that things are getting out of hand.
The buyer held up her end of the deal and you the seller are at fault for not getting the dc. The buyer should give YOU the neutral feedback. Sorry hun, but you are in the wrong here.

Jordan~&~Jenna's~mommy
09-28-2006, 12:53 PM
I'm in the minority too... I would have left neutral feedback. More so because it took her actual weeks to pay (though honeslty by day 5 or so I would relist if it were me). If it wasn't a good experience for either party and it wasn't a bad experience for either party... IMO it just has to be neutral.

Knittress
09-28-2006, 05:59 PM
From everything that I have read about a neutral feedback, it is designed to be used when a person is not pleased with a transaction. Sarah was not pleased with her transaction. She has the right to leave a neutral.

cowmommy
09-28-2006, 06:12 PM
From everything that I have read about a neutral feedback, it is designed to be used when a person is not pleased with a transaction. Sarah was not pleased with her transaction. She has the right to leave a neutral.

:exactly: what i tried to say

Knittress
09-28-2006, 06:21 PM
:exactly: what i tried to say

great minds think alike. ;)

momtothreeboys
09-28-2006, 08:53 PM
Imo, neutral really is not bad. Whether she got them or not I think it was neutral. Thanks mama for being honest.:thumbsup:

heidisue
09-29-2006, 03:16 AM
If she wasn't pleased because the payment was late then she should have stopped the transaction right there and relisted. If she wasn't pleased because the buyer complained afterwords and demanded a refund or threatened negative feedback then that warrents a neutral. But, if she wasn't pleased because the post office didn't deliver the package then that is not the buyers fault!!! I'm going out on a limb here and saying that if you felt the transaction was neutral because the package didn't show up (post offices fault) then she has a right to leave a negative feedback to you for not sending it (why should she trust you if you don't trust her, you are the only one able to prove that you sent it and you couldn't - you don't even mention a receipt, just said you remember arguing with your DH about it) and then you blamed it on her, sheesh.