So at one point do you just assume its not going to happen?

[kaoh]

We had found out about a baby in virginia. We walked to the birth family (the birth mom's parents) almost 2 weeks ago. She had said she was going to send me an email, and I never got one. My friend who initially put us in touch also contacted her, still no email. I have her phone number but I am reluctant to call - it was just a preliminary conversation and I don't know what the parents discussed with the birthmom at this point, all they said was she had our profile and was looking at it. They've ahd our profile for about 6 weeks now. I've almost lost hope here, but I still feel like we are in limbo until we hear a no for sure. I emailed my friend a few days ago and commented that I assumed it was a no go, but I haven't heard back from her either.

Then I got accepted into a writing workshop. I was going to workshop a couple of the chaps from my book that has been languishing while I play mommy. The workshop is the same week the birthmom is due. I should probably just send in the check because as soon as I do we'll get a baby :giggle2: the workshop is of course non refundable, and if this adoption happens I'll really need that money.

So what would you do? Accept the workshop slot? Call the birth family? Nag the friend to try contacting them again?

[widerangebooks]

Hmmm...I would accept the spot at the workshop. When that week rolls around you'll be depressed if you're not there! Sounds like the mom has changed her mind or is very unsure.

[cravnp99]

Yeah, some potential first moms don't always do things in a timely manner... or think about needing to communicate their plans. Our LO's first mom went around telling everyone that "a youth pastor and his wife were going to take her baby." but she hadn't told us yet at that point.... I ended up having to call her to confirm.... that was at the end of October and she was born Jan 3rd! :thumbsup:

So I wouldn't give up hope... if at all possible, I'd go ahead and make the next move and try to contact her directly... explain your situation about how you need to know if you need to keep your life open for a new baby or move on to other things... she/they probably just aren't thinking about things on your end.

Good Luck!

[kaoh]

Yeah, some potential first moms don't always do things in a timely manner... or think about needing to communicate their plans. Our LO's first mom went around telling everyone that "a youth pastor and his wife were going to take her baby." but she hadn't told us yet at that point.... I ended up having to call her to confirm.... that was at the end of October and she was born Jan 3rd! :thumbsup:

So I wouldn't give up hope... if at all possible, I'd go ahead and make the next move and try to contact her directly... explain your situation about how you need to know if you need to keep your life open for a new baby or move on to other things... she/they probably just aren't thinking about things on your end.

Good Luck!



Thanks for the advice. I found out I don't have to actually pay my tuition until the day I start the workshop, so I accepted the slot figuring if anything happens I can just cancel. Still, its frustrating. My DH has a really hard time getting time off from work, and if he has any hope of rearranging his schedule he has to do it now (schedules are set 6 months in advance)! This is the one thing about adopting that is harder - its harder to plan for.