What made you want to Home Birth?

[JDT]

I'm all done having babies (tubes tied) so i'm just asking out of curosity.

With my #1 son I used a midwife and opted for the in hospital birthing center. I risked out almost as soon as we got there. I ended up having a crash c-section with an epi that didn't fully work. NOT FUN!

With my #2 son I briefly considered a VBAC, but opted for a 2nd c-section. I was afraid of another long labor. Again they had problem getting me numb enough so I had a general. I went to sleep pregnant and woke up with a baby.

With my #3 son c-section was the only option. I asked for the general, but got a spinal. It worked fine. So it was quick and easy, no labor, no internal exams. Just set the date, have the baby.

I'm all for birthing choice and LOVE reading the home birthing stories here. But I can't even BEGIN to imagine having a baby outside the hospital. I HATE hospitals, but I feel safe there.

So my question - how did you come to the decision to home birth?

[rachaeljohnson]

Well, my first was in a hospital with a midwife. It was a fairly long labor of about 20 hours. I ended up with an epi at 7 cm and feel terrible for this day...but the pain was just too much for me. I really think what contributed to my terrible pain was being in an uncomfortable environment. I went to the hospital too early (4-5cm) because i was soooo afraid of having contractions in the car for a 45 minute drive. I kept refusing vaginal exams and they kept insisting...i ended up with an infection and a fever. I was embarassed by my moaning and crying which really was helping me cope, but since i stifled myself, it made it worse. After she was born the nurses gave her to me but then kept poking and taking her temp and cleaning her off when all i wanted to do was hold her and love on her (this was probably the biggest factor for me). I HATED the hospital beds, i HATED the food, and i absolutely HATED being checked on all the time. Next time i want to be in the comfort of my own home where i feel safe and protected. I also don't want the option of an epi because i know i can get through it but may ask for it in the throws of it all! It's not right for everyone, but i really think everyone needs to be where they feel secure! For me, this is in my own home with my husband and daughter!

[JDT]

Maybe this is too nosey of a question, but can you tell me that why you regret the epi?

I too originally wanted to go all natural, but 20 hours in I just wanted to be shot. I labored for a full 24 hrs.

[amphibology29]

At first I wanted a home birth because I hated how I was treated in the hospital with DS. But the more I learned about it, I realized that it was all around just a better option for me - a healthy woman with a healthy pregnancy. Then my mindset changed from wanting to avoid the hospital to wanting to do what was best for my baby.

[Amberjoe_1]

I came to the decision through much research and prayer..it's not an easy decision, especially if you know nothing about it. We were excited about our first baby, but I already doubted myself and was all for an epidural. So we went in really early and I was only 2 cm, by morning they decided to put me on pit and break my water... I had an epi at 3cm:blush: . Partly I was just stressed, the nurses were not nice at all, baby was taken from me, I didn't want an IV but got stabbed 4 times anyway, I got woken up every hour afterwards getting poked at and hardly had any sleep...alll this I believe contributed to my blood pressure going up after the birth and having to stay an extra day.

Now I feel totally prepared with dealing with labor and delivery, I'm excited to be at home where it's familiar and comfortable and I don't have to act a certain way or be told what to do. This baby will not be taken from me at all. My entire mentality has changed about giving birth..I feel like it's my birth and not someone else's...I make the decisions, and I don't have to be pressured into doing something I don't feel comfortable with. I totally believe in my midwife and I trust her to call shots, it helps to know that there is a hospital less than 5 minutes away, but I feel confident in this homebirth with no interventions, it'll be a wonderful experience...
all that said I can't wait for this homebirth!:goodvibes:

[ceilismom]

After having my daughter in the hospital, and nearly every possible medical intervention that I did NOT want, I told my DH that I'd rather give birth at home in the bathtub next time than do that again. I felt bullied, patronized and powerless. My recovery was miserable, and I didn't even have a C-section. Fast forward 2.5 years and I had a home(like) birth at my midwife's clinic which is in a trailer house. Even though labor started and stopped several times over 3 days, I gave birth this Saturday morning in a relaxed atmosphere with just my DH, midwife and doula-in-training present. If I'd had any idea how hard it would be, I'd never have believed myself capable of doing it all natural, but I'm so glad I did. I felt ten times better physically and emotionally the second time around, and my baby doesn't look like she was in a fight.

[Sarahb44]

Haven't had a homebirth, but I have had 3 VERY different experiences with labor and delivery. And looking like this baby may be our last I dream about having a HB. But DH isn't into it. I am working on him...I really wanted a HB w/my last as well....
If I could go back to where my boys were born and have my midwives in a birth center I would be soooooooo ok with that as well. But all I can say is that it is a burning desire in my body, heart to be at home and do it MY way. If I want my a$$ up in the air thats ok...and hospitals generally dont go for that!

[rachaeljohnson]

Maybe this is too nosey of a question, but can you tell me that why you regret the epi?

I too originally wanted to go all natural, but 20 hours in I just wanted to be shot. I labored for a full 24 hrs.

I regret it because it could have harmed her...i too had a long labor and had the epi at the end, but i know the dangers it can cause (rare-but existent). I can sympathize with wanting to be shot though...lol. I also was soooo exhausted when it was over (labor started at 9pm so by the end, i hadn't slept in 48 hours). I was so physically exhausted and nauseous (puked about 20 time during labor-before and after the epi) that when my daughter finally was born, i wasn't euphoric, i was exhausted-i wanted dh to take her and i wanted to pass out and throw up some more...lol...i never saw the cord or the placenta and i tore so badly that i was in severe pain for 2 weeks which also inhibited bonding (probably wouldn't have tore so badly without the epi-but who knows). I just really wanted to experience everything and have that huge release/euphoria after she was born, and alas, there was no crescendo! :(

[JDT]

THank you for sharing ladies. It's all so interesting!

[1blessedmama]

My first was born in a hospital. I'd originally wanted a homebirth for cost reasons (our insurance stinks) but my HB options at that time would have been even MORE expensive. So I did the OB/hospital route, although I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. Well, we ended up inducing me at home (my doula/MW stripped membranes and we did AROM) and I labored there for 9 hours before choosing to go in. Breaking my water was the WORST decision ever...I won't CHOOSE to have that done ever again. Anyway, because of that I chose to have an epidural (despite fully understanding the risks AND having wanted to go completely natural)...nothing like the prime example of "cascade of interventions". DD came after 12 hours total (1 hour of pushing). Overall it wasn't a NEGATIVE experience, but I knew I wanted something different next time if I had the chance.

So, right after she was born I started praying about my next birth experience (if I was so blessed as to have another). I didn't want to deal with standing up for my "crazy" parenting choices in a hospital again (requesting no bath right away, having them keep their hands off baby, no shots, no vit K, no eye goop, etc). But most of all I wanted the experience as a beautiful testimony of how awesome our God is and how perfect he made this process and how no, a healthy pregnancy doesn't need constant monitoring and intervention. By the time I got pregnant again I KNEW I wanted to homebirth, and I hoped and prayed it could be a UC. My entire 2nd pregnancy was a spiritual journey for me- from the start I relied on prayer alone to give me peace about early pregnancy (passing my m/c dates, going w/out u/s's, etc), and by the time I was about halfway through I was totally and completely comfortable (and thrilled!) with the idea of having a UC. And I was able to! I had a MW for prenatal care starting at 22 weeks so that DH would feel better about it, but we delivered her at home by ourselves. It was 5 hours of labor (probably would have been less had I moved sooner! LOL) until I changed position (had been in the same position the ENTIRE time because it was the least painful) and my water broke and she was out in less than 3 minutes. It was SUCH an awesome experience.

Let me also say that before I got pregnant with DD1 I was a nursing student and really set in "medical" ways, believing that hospitals/doctors were the greatest and nothing else even compared. However, the beginning of my change of mindset started with vaccination research. ;) From then on I began to question everything "medical" and it totally gave me faith in this body God created and designed to birth babies. :)

[JDT]

Wait, you had the baby at home sans midwife!?

WOW!!!

[Shyla]

For me I am doing a hb this time because I hate the lack of control they give me at the hospital and having to have an OB just pushed me over the edge (all my others were hospital birth with a midwife) I dont like being attached to machines and told not to move during contractions. I hate all the ppl walking in and out yet ignoring my wants. I hate being checked constantly. I dont want to listen to other women yelling and screaming or nurses lauging down the hallway. I want peace and quiet and to do what I feel like. I dont want to be told how to labor or where. I hated them pushing me back on the stupid bed all the time when I just wanted to crawl off. Or them having me lay still for 20 or more min and telling me not to move so they could make sure I was in labor and the baby was ok :banghead: To me the restraints were killer. I can handle pain I just need to be in my enviroment where I feel safe and in control. Plus I only want strong ppl around me (and I have had some nurses with weak personalities that annoyed me.) If I go into labor at night I am tempted not to wake anyone till I have to and just be by myself and work through it (I think my midwife might be mad if I am her first delivery she misses though :giggle:) Plus I dont want the options of drugs they are too tempting at times and really do not help as I only ask for the epi during transition (last time I asked for it my midwife argued with me for 30 min than finally went to get him and ds started comming out while she was looking for him and no one was listening to me saying I had to push (the nurse just ignored me and dh didnt think I was serious) luckly she came in bairly in time. So I dont want the temptation this time, I dont want intervention, I want to try it on my own my own way without someone telling me what to do, how and where to labor.

I wanted to add that some added benifits for us were that dh would be able to sleep in a comfortable (our bed) instead of a pull out chair bed. We would not be wokem up by nurses at all hours who are trying to take the baby somewhere, check my blood pressure etc) We would be able to be comfortable and rest. A down side for me though is the having to figure out meals (I like the hospital serving me food. DH really has no idea how to cook. He has no cooking skills what so ever so I dont look forward to the meals part but the rest is so much more worth it)

[JeDeeLenae]

Coming to terms with homebirthing actually took a lot from me. I still feel like if I tried really hard, I can have a home-like birth in a hospital, but really, it was about being comfortable, prepared, and just coming to terms with what I really wanted. I was trying to have a homebirth NOT at home, and I don't think that's realistic at all.

So, why at home? I remember after having Jaxon, Jason said, "Well, if it's going to be this fast, we should just stay home next time." And I started looking into it. I started seeing it WAS safe, and that it freed up a lot more options for me. My kids could be involved. My life isn't put on hold for 3 days. I don't have someone poking me all hours of the night. I have FOOD! And in general, it gives me more freedom to have what I really want regardless of when I decide I want it. At a hospital, there is so much protocol. Everything is by a schedule, and birth has its own schedule.

But, I also know that IF there's something I or my midwife feels is wrong, I can be at a hospital in less than 10 minutes.

[mengmommy]

Um, my hospital birth with ds was less than enjoyable. It started with my water breaking at 37w5d unprovoked. I had an appt that day like an hour later, so we went in and she confirmed and said I was a fingertip dilated and said to go home and pack and get to the hospital where they would give me cervical gel to induce contractions. If only I'd googled it. If only. I WISH wish wish I could go back in time and tell myself to stay home. That would have been hard because MIL practically beat us to the hospital, but it would have been great. Anyways. We got to the hospital about 3 hours later and they checked me, and put in the gel. They made me stay in the bed flat on my back and the wicked unnatural contractions started almost right away. There was no up-hill side to the contractions, just suddenly everytime they came they took my breath away. After an hour they let me get up for a bit. Then they had me lay down again and put in another dose. My bed rocked back and forth, like one of the wheels was uneven, and I get carsick/motion sick VERY easily and all I wanted to do was throw up. I told them about my bed and they did nothing. I wanted to get in a tub and relax, but all they had was a shower. After laboring like that for 6 hours I finally gave in and got the epidural because it had only dilated me to 2-3cm. They kept threatening me with pitocin too and I told them "over my dead body". I had 4 different nurses, 3 of which were MEAN and should have NEVER been allowed near a patient, in the course of 7 hours. Thank God the last one was nice. The epidural, which I'd always wanted to avoid, had side effects that I hadn't really known about. It dropped my blood pressure really low, and dropped ds's heartrate even lower. I learned later that epidurals DO in fact cross the placenta...I had been told they didn't. Our really nice nurse J kept coming in and helping me roll from side to side every 15 minutes or so. I think the only reason they weren't threatening me with a c-section is because 14 other babies were born that night. During the birth, which was done by a doctor I'd never met before and only saw for a total of 30 minutes maybe, I had an unnecessary episiotomy. The doctor wouldn't put ds on my stomach and when I reached for him he snapped at me. The nurses took him across the gigantic room where I couldn't even see and kept him for at least 10 minutes. Everyone else got to touch him first. It still makes me SOOO angry that this happened, I'd written that I wanted him on me the WHOLE time and they didn't care. He was perfectly fine, and it was unnecessary. I finally got him back and he refused to nurse for 14 hours. I blamed it on the epi at first...which I still think is part of the problem, but I just recently read to that a lot of times mom's who are pumped full of fluids have babies that are slow to eat afterwards because of all the sugar. Thank goodness we actually had a good LC though who demanded that the pp nurses check his blood sugar when they were threatening us with formula which I also flat out refused. When we got to the pp room (which was more of a closet, but at least I didn't have a roommate-I would have checked us out AMA if that were the case), they made ds stay in an open top heater thing with a temp taker on his chest that kept beeping. It was scaring the crap out of us because the nurses would take their SWEET freaking time to come and check on it, we had no idea what it meant, and I just wanted to hold my son. Finally after about an hour of that garbage and me screaming at the nurse to do something, she said "well you can just hold him if you want"...NO one told me. NO one. I was miserable the whole time we were there. It just sucked, and I would never wish a hospital birth on my worst enemy.


I planned on a birth center birth with dd, but the midwives were more like medwives and I hated them, so we stayed home and birthed unassisted. Best decision of my life. We're doing it again in December/January.

[SeeChicletRun]

an uneeded 4th degree episiotomy for my first son- a 7lber natural birth, no distress done by an OB at a hospital.
I am a low risk,very healthy young woman, there was no need for me to be in a hospital.

[OneFabMama]

Honestly, I don't really know! I had a fantastic OB when I pregnant with my daughter. And, even though I had a terribly long birth - it was a good birth.

This time, we had moved, we had no insurance. So, a midwife popped into my head and I said to DH one night while in bed "why cant we just have our baby right here" and he immediately was on board. So, the next morning I went searching for a MW. We had a consult. and we've never looked back. We're so stoked. And, we both can't wait. I am just looking forward to a super relaxing birth in the comfort of my own home. Where my 3 year old can play a huge role in it (if she wants to) - which is comforting to me because we have no family near by. And, she is super excited for her brother to come.

ETA: And, I love the fact that I don't have to be holed up in the hospital for 2-3 days (for no reason) with someone coming in every freaking hour for stupid things like blood pressure, and temps. I just want to bond with my new baby, as a family! It's SUPER important to me because of my oldest. I want her to be able to SEE what is going on. Not just come home after 3 days of being gone and oh we have a new baby! I want to be able to rest and recover in my own bed, my own shower, my own everything! No itchy gowns. No stained sheets. I can eat whatever I want (during labor too), no interventions. My MW doesn't break the water. She has never ever ever in her 23+ years of midwifery done an episiotomy. I just love her (and her assistants).

[Sarahb44]

Honestly, I don't really know! I had a fantastic OB when I pregnant with my daughter. And, even though I had a terribly long birth - it was a good birth.

This time, we had moved, we had no insurance. So, a midwife popped into my head and I said to DH one night while in bed "why cant we just have our baby right here" and he immediately was on board. So, the next morning I went searching for a MW. We had a consult. and we've never looked back. We're so stoked. And, we both can't wait. I am just looking forward to a super relaxing birth in the comfort of my own home. Where my 3 year old can play a huge role in it (if she wants to) - which is comforting to me because we have no family near by. And, she is super excited for her brother to come.

ETA: And, I love the fact that I don't have to be holed up in the hospital for 2-3 days (for no reason) with someone coming in every freaking hour for stupid things like blood pressure, and temps. I just want to bond with my new baby, as a family! It's SUPER important to me because of my oldest. I want her to be able to SEE what is going on. Not just come home after 3 days of being gone and oh we have a new baby! I want to be able to rest and recover in my own bed, my own shower, my own everything! No itchy gowns. No stained sheets. I can eat whatever I want (during labor too), no interventions. My MW doesn't break the water. She has never ever ever in her 23+ years of midwifery done an episiotomy. I just love her (and her assistants).

I want your midwife! :lostit:

[tessa1002]

I have never had a homebirth but I really want one for my next child if possible. It's probably the wrong reason, but I honestly just loathe hospitals, and after my last experience with a hospital I really want to avoid the whole thing. :yuck:

[DesertRat]

The hospital I would give birth at requires certain interventions regardless of whether or not I need them. I know they say the hospital can't "make" you do anything, but I don't want to check into the hospital prepared for a fight. If I want a completely natural birth, it has to be at home.

[ThatLinGirl]

Well, for me it came down to this -- the studies show that for a low risk mother, home birth is as safe as hospital birth.

Why would I go to a hospital, where they will likely try to limit my eating, put an IV in me, control all aspects of my birth... when I could stay in my own home, be comfortable, be attended by a skilled midwife who will provide me with excellent care and far FAR FAR lower rates of episiotomies, c-sections, etc.

That said, I am comfortable with this because I am not far from the hospital in the case of a true emergency where a transfer would need to be quick. The vast majority of transfers are NOT emergency transfers. I've been quoted about a 2% transfer rate as a second-time mother -- usually due to maternal exhaustion or needing fluids, etc. Pretty darn good.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I lived at MIN 45 min from a hospital and was not comfy with that. Now I'm in an urban environment and I'm very excited about the homebirth we are planning. :goodvibes:

[oneofsix]

Safety actually. I really believe home birth is the safest option for most women.

Ok, this is how it happened. I was watching a tv show and it mentioned the word midwife. I was 15 and asked my mother what it was. She told me and it clicked. I had already witnessed a birth before so knowing you can have babies at home made so much sense to me. (I was my mothers doula the year before during her birth) That started my journey into research and studying to be a mw (I never got licensed). I haven't stopped studying though. So when the time came I knew there was just no other place I would have a baby but at home. I have had 1 hospital birth, it was a transfer for FTP. Totally confirmed everything I already knew.

[breanne_roz]

I had my son in the hospital after 22 hours of hard, pitocin induced labor. I came into the hospital laboring on my own at 39 weeks & 6 days...apparently that wasn't "good" enough...so they started pumping me full of pitocin, antibiotics and iv fluid, and broke my water at 4 cms. I felt so out of control, I was young, so uneducated on childbirth (well after reading about 10 "mainstream" books I thought I was educated...boy was I wrong!). After 18 hours of labor I ended up with an epidural, I didn't have the emotional or physical strength to go on. I ended up laying on my back, with a nurse & doctor shouting at me to push harder when I had absolutely no urge to do so.I honestly was traumatized by the "pain" I experienced. I've never been so fearful in my life. I spent the next year and a half telling myself that I didn't want more children simply because I was absolutely terrified of giving birth. That is when I found Laura Shanley's unnasisted childbirth website. It really opened my eyes, and now I'm at a point in my life where I fully look forward to the birth of my next child. I've read and I've read and I've read some more....the books that I have most enjoyed were certainly Ina May Gaskins "Spiritual Midwifery" & "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", Laura Shanley's "Unassisted Childbirth", Dr. Grantly ****-Read's "Childbirth without Fear" and hypnobirthing...there are lots of others that I have taken a alot of useful info from as well. I really don't think I could ever give birth in a hospital again. I cannot envision giving birth anywhere else but my home. I've come to learn that many of these necessary "interventions" during pregnancy, labor & birth are really not so necessary after all. Everyday, I feel more empowered as a woman knowing that my body was meant to give birth...I don't need a hospital, drugs & machines to do so.

[JeDeeLenae]

The hospital I would give birth at requires certain interventions regardless of whether or not I need them. I know they say the hospital can't "make" you do anything, but I don't want to check into the hospital prepared for a fight. If I want a completely natural birth, it has to be at home.
I know. It's like you're already going into labor. Do you really want to go into a fight too? Not to mention Vegas hospitals have a pretty high c-section rate.

[JDT]

This might be a dumb question, but I wonder:

do you ladies that prefer home birth do the regular course of pre-natal care?

I can't recall if it was on this thread or another but someone mentioned that she had never been to a doctor. It made me wonder about pre-natal.

[JeDeeLenae]

This might be a dumb question, but I wonder:

do you ladies that prefer home birth do the regular course of pre-natal care?

I can't recall if it was on this thread or another but someone mentioned that she had never been to a doctor. It made me wonder about pre-natal.
I started seeing my midwife at about 21 weeks. Prior to that, no one would see me because we were in the process of moving.

[rachaeljohnson]

we will still see a midwife for home appts...and our regular at the hospital (so insurance will cover testing) :) and because i LOVE her! If cnms could do homebirths here...i would want her!

[OneFabMama]

This might be a dumb question, but I wonder:

do you ladies that prefer home birth do the regular course of pre-natal care?

I can't recall if it was on this thread or another but someone mentioned that she had never been to a doctor. It made me wonder about pre-natal.

I see my midwife on a standard basis (much like an OB) - she gives the option of doing standard tests (blood tests, Strep B, etc...) or not. I am choosing not. But, I still feel like I am getting the best care that I can get. If not, more so than with an OB. I am mostly with her for almost 2 hours at each visit. She is extremely thorough. We talk about any concerns I may have - and REALLY talk about them. I had a whole list a few weeks ago with about 15 things on it and she sat through her lunch break to discuss it with me. No rush at all.

I love it. No OB will sit with you patiently for 1.5-2 hours to talk about not cutting the cord in depth until it stops pulsing, etc...

So, in short - yes, I get excellent care. But, I am opting out of any testing for Strep B, or abnormalities, etc...

I did see an OB before I was seeing my MW for about 13 weeks (we moved) and did have some blood work done, and 2 early ultrasounds for bleeding I was having and since I had previous MC's - I wanted them!

[midominga]

I have ALWAYS hated hospitals..If I broke my leg you'd have to drag me there kicking(yes even with a broken leg) and screaming. I always viewed them for sick people. If I'm healthy and my baby is healthy and my pregnancy is fine and healthy why be at a hospital. If anything went wrong I was just down the road for a hospital. I don't like doctors and how they think they know better then you about your own body or your child. I'm already red flagged at 7 hospitals near me...2 of which actually called my midwife to complain about me, 2 more called my ped to complain about me. I know my body I know my child I know what you will not be doing to any of us and no you will not go behind my back. Sorry can you tell I have had too many bad experiences with doctors or what.

[JDT]

I have ALWAYS hated hospitals..If I broke my leg you'd have to drag me there kicking(yes even with a broken leg) and screaming. I always viewed them for sick people. If I'm healthy and my baby is healthy and my pregnancy is fine and healthy why be at a hospital. If anything went wrong I was just down the road for a hospital. I don't like doctors and how they think they know better then you about your own body or your child. I'm already red flagged at 7 hospitals near me...2 of which actually called my midwife to complain about me, 2 more called my ped to complain about me. I know my body I know my child I know what you will not be doing to any of us and no you will not go behind my back. Sorry can you tell I have had too many bad experiences with doctors or what.

:roflmbo: Alrighty then! :giggle2:

[ThatLinGirl]

This might be a dumb question, but I wonder:

do you ladies that prefer home birth do the regular course of pre-natal care?

I can't recall if it was on this thread or another but someone mentioned that she had never been to a doctor. It made me wonder about pre-natal.

Yup. Did the nuchal translucency scan and everything. My midwives come to my home to do my prenatal visits, which is pretty great.

[1blessedmama]

This might be a dumb question, but I wonder:

do you ladies that prefer home birth do the regular course of pre-natal care?

I can't recall if it was on this thread or another but someone mentioned that she had never been to a doctor. It made me wonder about pre-natal.

I had about 5 MW home appointments total, starting at 22 weeks. Would have gone completely unassisted (I can do everything she does and have easy access to bloodwork if needed) with just an u/s later but having a MW was kind of my compromise with DH for a homebirth.

Not sure what we'll do next time. If I do choose a MW again I'll probably wait until later to start appts.

[JDT]

Is it common for the MW to come to your home for pre-natal?

I used a CNMW with my first baby. I went to her office for my pre-natal visits. I lived in NYC when my first baby was born, so maybe it's a regional thing. I don't know.

In reading all of this what strikes me is that all of the things that made some people more comfortable with a MW are the things that drove me crazy.

[OneFabMama]

Is it common for the MW to come to your home for pre-natal?

I used a CNMW with my first baby. I went to her office for my pre-natal visits. I lived in NYC when my first baby was born, so maybe it's a regional thing. I don't know.

In reading all of this what strikes me is that all of the things that made some people more comfortable with a MW are the things that drove me crazy.

We go to my Midwives home for our prenatals. She does one home visit (I had mine today actually) just to be familiar with your home, and where you live so if she gets a call at 2am she knows where she is going.

What drove you crazy with a MW?

[mengmommy]

I had a couple of OB appts with dd through 13 weeks. Then we moved. I started with the mw's at 28 weeks and continued until 39 weeks. This time, I'm not seeking out any care. Like 1blessedmama said, I can pretty much do everything they can for a healthy low-risk pg...I don't have the bloodwork or u/s hook up that she does, but hey, I might just *need* to make an 8 hour road trip and meet her hook up if the need arises. :giggle2:

[JDT]

What drove you crazy with a MW?

All of that jaw jacking and touchy feely made me nuts. I feel like my friends are my friends. My family is my family. This medical professional is a medical professional. I don't want you at my house. It's not like you're going to invite me for christmas. None of that. I just found all of that "let me hold you hand" to be very phoney.

I wanted her to come in. Do what she had to do and leave me alone.

I LOVE my current OB-GYN. He's a warm and friendly guy, but keeps a certain professional distance.

With my first baby the midwife sat there in the room with me as I labored. I just wanted her to go away so that I could be comfortable with "my people" - my friends and family.

[rachaeljohnson]

All of that jaw jacking and touchy feely made me nuts. I feel like my friends are my friends. My family is my family. This medical professional is a medical professional. I don't want you at my house. It's not like you're going to invite me for christmas. None of that. I just found all of that "let me hold you hand" to be very phoney.

I wanted her to come in. Do what she had to do and leave me alone.

I LOVE my current OB-GYN. He's a warm and friendly guy, but keeps a certain professional distance.

With my first baby the midwife sat there in the room with me as I labored. I just wanted her to go away so that I could be comfortable with "my people" - my friends and family.


it is funny how different everyone is... i LOVED my midwife being there and frankly everyone else (including dh) could have left. She knew just what to say and do...heck, i would invite her over for Christmas! She is the sweetest lady and i can't wait to be pregnant again so i can see her more often! ha ha:giggle2:

[hippydippymama]

Because my hospital birth with DS1 was an experience I never, ever want to repeat. In a nutshell: 46 hours posterior labor, 4 hours forced pushing on my back, unwanted epidural & pitocin, b!tchy MW with the bedside manner of a PMSing warthog, all ending in a C-section. Didn't get to see my baby for four hours afterward, had trouble BFing that no one helped me with because he was so doped up on drugs. Oh, and a late PPH one week later that had me back in the ER to get a blood transfusion and a stitch in my lacerated cervix. I sat in my hospital bed bawling my eyes out and gushing milk all over the place beacuse I missed my baby so much.

And to think I wanted a natural birth. In a hospital. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

If I sound bitter, it's....well, it's because I am. I know now that home is the only place where I can have the birth that both my baby and I need.

[vinsmommy]

I had a GREAT hospital birth with my first. LOVED my doctor. Ended up with a wonderful OB nurse. All my wishes were followed and respected. I'm sure a huge anomaly right.

There was lots of checking in on me after the birth - and I wasn't really comfortable sleeping in the bed there.

I am pg with #2 now and we've decided on a homebirth. My midwife is lovely. I see her at her home for my pre-natal visits. She will be as medical/non-medical as I want her to be. I am a bit nervous about a homebirth, but excited at the same time.

Some of the reasons we decided to go with a homebirth:
- if we don't need the extra medical stuff the hospital has why put us at risk for the infection and bacterial also present there. There are some really bad ones out there now.
- Why not. As long as the pregnancy is uncomplicated - if there were complications or we knew the baby needed extra care I'd be at the hospital in a heartbeat.
- I'm pregnant, not sick.

Of course I can still change my mind - clear up until I need to push right? :D But planning this homebirth is really empowering.

[JDT]

Because my hospital birth with DS1 was an experience I never, ever want to repeat. In a nutshell: 46 hours posterior labor, 4 hours forced pushing on my back, unwanted epidural & pitocin, b!tchy MW with the bedside manner of a PMSing warthog, all ending in a C-section. Didn't get to see my baby for four hours afterward, had trouble BFing that no one helped me with because he was so doped up on drugs. Oh, and a late PPH one week later that had me back in the ER to get a blood transfusion and a stitch in my lacerated cervix. I sat in my hospital bed bawling my eyes out and gushing milk all over the place beacuse I missed my baby so much.

And to think I wanted a natural birth. In a hospital. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

If I sound bitter, it's....well, it's because I am. I know now that home is the only place where I can have the birth that both my baby and I need.


HPM,

I was reading your signature. Why do you need to raise money for a home birth. I would think that it's either cheap or free.

[OneFabMama]

HPM,

I was reading your signature. Why do you need to raise money for a home birth. I would think that it's either cheap or free.

:headscratch: Why would it be free? It's relatively cheap compared to a hospital birth, but they are definitley not free. Sometimes they are covered by insurance either in full or a %. A midwife does A LOT of work, especially for a home birth

ETA: Plus, you do need supplies for a home birth. My midwife does a birthing kit with everything she will need for the birth, and PP care, little things like a umbilical clamp, chux pads, and some other stuff.

[JDT]

:headscratch: Why would it be free? It's relatively cheap compared to a hospital birth, but they are definitley not free. Sometimes they are covered by insurance either in full or a %. A midwife does A LOT of work, especially for a home birth

ETA: Plus, you do need supplies for a home birth. My midwife does a birthing kit with everything she will need for the birth, and PP care, little things like a umbilical clamp, chux pads, and some other stuff.

I (apparently falsely) assumed that the parents would buy all of the supplies, the midwife would bring her medical kit and that would be that.

I assumed that she would be compensated for her time and her skill. Kind of like when you get married. You give the minister a nice "tip" I can't think of a better word. But I never thought of it in terms of a fee structure.

When I had my 1st baby I think it cost something like $30,000. That was an uncomplicated pregnancy, prenatal provided by a midwife in her office, a bunch of tests, 12 hours of labor at home, 12 hours of labor in hospital, ending in a c-section. To me that sounds like $30K.

Compared to a handful of visits with a midwife followed by a home birth. It just doesn't seem like a pricy proposition to me.

I'm always open to learning something new. Please, tell me if i'm wrong.

[1blessedmama]

HPM,

I was reading your signature. Why do you need to raise money for a home birth. I would think that it's either cheap or free.

Homebirths, attended ones especially, are definitely not free, at least around here. Many insurances won't even cover homebirths, so people have to pay OOP for them. My MW charged $1500 total (OOP, insurance won't cover DEMs here) which was NOTHING compared to other homebirth MW's in the area who average about $3-4500. Even going unassisted, we paid for an u/s OOP which was a few hundred dollars, and our supplies totalled around $50 maybe?

[JDT]

Gotcha!

Very interesting!

[1blessedmama]

I (apparently falsely) assumed that the parents would buy all of the supplies, the midwife would bring her medical kit and that would be that.

I assumed that she would be compensated for her time and her skill. Kind of like when you get married. You give the minister a nice "tip" I can't think of a better word. But I never thought of it in terms of a fee structure.

When I had my 1st baby I think it cost something like $30,000. That was an uncomplicated pregnancy, prenatal provided by a midwife in her office, a bunch of tests, 12 hours of labor at home, 12 hours of labor in hospital, ending in a c-section. To me that sounds like $30K.

Compared to a handful of visits with a midwife followed by a home birth. It just doesn't seem like a pricy proposition to me.

I'm always open to learning something new. Please, tell me if i'm wrong.

Well, some MW's provide bloodwork and testing for example, so that's a cost just the same as an OB would have. And they usually do all the paperwork (BC, etc) in the end for you, so that is a huge service. And of course attending the birth is worth charging for- I mean, she's got much more skill, experience, supplies, etc than many parents have (whether by choice or just by happening). Oftentimes a MW assisted delivery may be nearly equivelant to an OB in a hospital, minus the medical setting. Also, I was more than willing to reimburse my MW for gas costs (I added a little "tip" at the end but other times she wouldn't let me flat out pay her for it)...she was driving 45 minutes to our old apt and then 2 hours to our new house, and I never had to pack up my toddler and leave to go sit in a waiting room for 30-60 min. and then have a 10 min. appt. Just that was worth the cost to me! :giggle:

[OneFabMama]

My midwife charges 3,200 and that includes all prenatals, the birth, and the PP care (she comes at 3 days PP and then again at 6 weeks). If you need blood work, ultrasounds - it's extra.

My insurance is covering it.

But, we still have to pay for the birth kit, other things we need for the birth (yes that is our responsibility) and she does bring her bag of stuff she needs, etc...

And, there are other things like supplements (vitamins, and other things you may need along the way like I am taking liquid iron right now). And, the newborn screening if you decide to have it is an extra 70 dollars. Basically you need to pay for the lab fees she gets charged.

So, it's definitley cheaper than even a normal hospital delivery. My delivery with DD was about 30K, plus the anesthesiologist, and the 1K we had to pay the OB for the delivery. Of course, most of the 30K was covered by our insurance. We ended up paying, I think 13 dollars to the hospital.

ETA: But, I feel like my midwife should get more money than any OB. But, of course that is just my opinion LOL
My visits with her lengthly, and she talks to me about questions/concerns I have without being rushed. I see her just as much as I would an OB. Every 4 weeks until 28 weeks, then every 2 weeks until 35 weeks, and now once a week (same schedule as my OB was). And, I'm there for at least 1.5 hours each time.

OH, and she is on call 24.7. She never really gets a day off as long as she has patients, ya know?!?! If I call at 2 am in labor SHE comes. Not the the Dr. on call (and she brings an assistant with her). I like that I KNOW full and well who will be delivering my baby. I got lucky with my DD and my OB was the OB on call that day or else I would have been not very happy. hahaha

[hippydippymama]

HPM,

I was reading your signature. Why do you need to raise money for a home birth. I would think that it's either cheap or free.

CHEAP OR FREE?!?!?! I wish!!! Midwives gotta get paid, too, ya know. $3,000 may be cheap to some, but not to me. It's all coming out of my pocket...which is why I have to raise money for it. It's roughly a year's salary for me.

[JDT]

I guess because the way I had my babies was all covered by insurance I didn't really think about the costs.

[hippydippymama]

I guess because the way I had my babies was all covered by insurance I didn't really think about the costs.

It's ok, I'm still shocked by how much it's costing to have this baby too since my last one didn't cost us a dime. We have really good insurance (and I'm hoping and praying they will cover this homebirth! I haven't found out yet!), and even still it seems like a lot, compared to free. So I know what you mean.

[breanne_roz]

I feel very lucky to live in Canada. In British Columbia, I don't have to pay for a homebirth. My BC medical covers the cost of a homebirth or hospital birth.
I cannot even imagine having to pay upwards of $30,000 for a hospital birth, or even several thousand for a homebirth. I feel very very fortunate to live in the country that I do. For those of you who must pay out of pocket, I can certainly see how finances would play a big factor in deciding to have a homebirth.

[JDT]

Just to clarify, the $30,000 birth was 100% covered by insurance. It didn't cost me a dime (aside from the monthly insurance premium ($20/mo).

[kindchen]

I (apparently falsely) assumed that the parents would buy all of the supplies, the midwife would bring her medical kit and that would be that.

I assumed that she would be compensated for her time and her skill. Kind of like when you get married. You give the minister a nice "tip" I can't think of a better word. But I never thought of it in terms of a fee structure.

When I had my 1st baby I think it cost something like $30,000. That was an uncomplicated pregnancy, prenatal provided by a midwife in her office, a bunch of tests, 12 hours of labor at home, 12 hours of labor in hospital, ending in a c-section. To me that sounds like $30K.

Compared to a handful of visits with a midwife followed by a home birth. It just doesn't seem like a pricy proposition to me.

I'm always open to learning something new. Please, tell me if i'm wrong.

You only give the minister a tip because that person has a paying job and does weddings on the side as a courtesy. Midwives are professionals. Attending births is what they do. My midwife:
* provides prenatal care in her home office (same # of visits you would have with an OB, but mw spends an hour with me each time)
* provides birth supplies, including full newborn/mom resuscitation equipment, medication for excessive bleeding, etc.
* travels across town to my home before the birth to make sure everything is in place for the birth and she knows how to get there
* comes during labor and stays for several hours after the birth to make sure everyone is fine
* performs in-depth newborn exam
* provides bfing help, including home visits to weigh the baby
* makes 3-4 postpartum home visits, does 6 week pp visit at her office
* does insurance billing

Midwives apprentice for years, often completely uncompensated. This is not a profession that pays very well. They earn every penny. I personally think the fee of $2300 my mw charges for ALL pre- and post-natal care in addition to the birth itself, is ridiculously low.