My DH is mostl likey going to be deploying in Dec... just 2 months before lil bean will get here... i KNOW that i cannot give birth here along just for the sheer fact that i dont have ANYONE to watch lette.... and since i dont know when i am going to go into labor i dont know how to have someone come down.... can i seriously ask someone to drop AT LEAST 2 months of their life?? my mother has a three year old and i KNOW she cant... i really dont have anyone to ask.... Soooooo do i go home??? but then the whole nursery that we are working our butts off on will be sitting at whole unused!!! what would you gals do???
ETA: i have preeclampsia and it runs REALLY BAD ( my aunt was ina coma from it) and lette was 3 weeks early....
Babybug
06-18-2008, 03:03 PM
Oh boy.....I never had preeclampsia but maybe you should consider going back home. That way you will have peace of mind knowing that if you go into labor you will have people around you to help.
The nursury will still be there when you are ready to go back home with your baby.
I lived 1 hour away from my relatives when I was pregnant with DS#3. I felt somthing was going on and DH was working a lot of hours so I decided to go stay with my sister. A couple of days later my water broke at 2:40 am, got to the hospital at 3:03 am and the baby was out by 3:16. The doctor didn't even make it and the baby was delivered by a nurse. Good thing I wasn't alone and far away.
You never know how things are going to go so better safe than sorry.
How long will he be deployed for ?
kristinc
06-18-2008, 03:15 PM
Oh boy.....I never had preeclampsia but maybe you should consider going back home. That way you will have peace of mind knowing that if you go into labor you will have people around you to help.
The nursury will still be there when you are ready to go back home with your baby.
:yeahthat: that sounds like the best option to me for yours and the baby's safety. but does that mean that you will have to find a new ob since you will not be in your home town?
E'smama
06-19-2008, 06:26 AM
i agree- i;d really want someone there when i went into labor- w/ ds #1 i was still commuting from nashville to miami to finish my degree- my mentor kept telling me that all firsttimers deliver late, and that i could work later than when i planned on finishing- i left just after i hit 36wks- he was born at 38 and change. that was more than close enough for me.
plus, i dont know how you were w/ lette- but edison lived in our room for the first couple months anyways- we even had the changing pad in there and put it on our bed when we wanted to change him :)
lou
06-19-2008, 07:23 AM
I agree that you will have plenty of months to use the nursery once you get back to your house. And it's a good thing to feel secure in those last weeks. I think I would move with a family member.
But if you really don't want to move out for 2 months, don't be afraid to ask for help. Do you have friendly neighbors, community centers or local centers for mothers or maybe there are some resources in the hospital. I know that here with the public system, you can find some help; you should have something similar.
Good luck with your decision.
asteiner18
06-19-2008, 08:37 AM
well i wouldnt be able to leave till dec... late dec. at that .... and of course i would be at least 8 months pregnant travelling over 1000 miles to get to family.... with a 1 year old..... it is a lot harder to leave home than it seems... i never got to use a nursery with lette b/c we were moving from texas to NC .... :cry: i dont have anyone here that can help me and i SERIOUSlY dont have anyone who can come down.... i guess i am going to have to meet some people.... i think that brandons parents may be able to watch lette.... but they are 4 hours away so i would have to hope that they could get down here before i had the baby.... i dont know... we have a lot to think about.... i would have to try to find a new OBGYN at 8 almost 9 months.... and i know the doctors wouldnt want me to travel.... let alone drive like i would have to do.... i would need my car and everything we would have to shove in it..... i just dont know what i am going to do :cry:
ETA: his parents are on the othe side of NC but they dont have the room for me.... they have a one bedroom house.... and his mother is the one that works while his dad stays home.... i dont think i would feel comfortable with his dad coming down and staying with me..... his grandmother would be able to but his grandpa isnt doing so well..... GRRRR i really dont know what we are going to do...
Babybug
06-19-2008, 09:01 AM
:hugs: This must be so stressfull for you.
Maybe you should talk about it with your OB at your appointment in July. I'm sure he/she can give you advice or help find a solution.
Maybe induction would be an option. By knowing the date you would deliver you can better plan some help.....that is hoping you don't go into labor before that date.
Do you have any freinds close by ?
calideedle
06-19-2008, 10:07 AM
What about talking to your DHs unit and seeing if there are any other women who would be willing to help. Get to know your neighbors? Other wives? Find someone you trust.
I know when I was preggo with Ava there were a ton of other wives who were PG too and needed help and something was always figured out.
asteiner18
06-19-2008, 10:53 AM
yes it seems that my only option will be to find help here... make some friends... i have one friend here that should be able to help me... and i definately trust her.... her husband will be deploying with mine... they work together.... she has a baby and a 4 year old.... i definately think she could watch lette and/ or drive me to the hospital.... which is a half hour away.... there arent many wives in my husbands group tho... he works in a very small department and there are only about 15 of them.... I think that my one friend is about the only one i have.... but i guess i will have to try to meet some more people... i am sure if i go to the family readiness center they can help but i want lette with me... or near me... i dont want her with some stranger.... and i dont want to deliver alone..... :cry: GRRRRRR i just dont know what to do... i am trying not to stress to much over it since i have a lot of time but DH doesnt really want anymore after this one and i dont want my last delivery to be soo......... not the way i imagined.... and dh not to be there..... it just isnt fair....
beckstar
06-20-2008, 07:15 PM
perhaps hire a nanny or even just a doula to help during labor...there are also postpartum doulas that can come in and help w/ chores, cooking, etc.
calideedle
06-20-2008, 10:40 PM
perhaps hire a nanny or even just a doula to help during labor...there are also postpartum doulas that can come in and help w/ chores, cooking, etc.
That is SUCH a good idea!
JollyHolly
06-21-2008, 11:22 PM
Word of advice: Whatever you do, do it early. If youre going to go back home, do it soon. I had to move b/c DH being in the Army when I was 30 weeks. He had just gotten out and we moved away from base. I had the impossible task of finding an OB in the area that accepted Tricare and also accepted me so late in pregnancy. As a result I ended up w/ an OB I was completely uncompatable with, my birth did not go a smidge what I wanted and to this day I am angry and disturbed by the happenings of my daughter's birth as a result of that OB. So, if you do move, do it early so you can be less stressed and not so limited on OB options. Good Luck Mama!!
akrancher
06-22-2008, 01:19 PM
I think the doula is a great idea, worth every penny compared to having to drive so far at the end of your pregnancy with a toddler and moving into a strange house. You could have the birth you want and have her around afterwards to check in. I know many doula stick around the first couple months checking in if the babe is breastfeed.
I agree with pp that the earlier the better when deciding what your family is going to do.
Good luck:thumbsup:
asteiner18
06-22-2008, 03:43 PM
i think i may have a woman from church who can watch lette while i am in labor... that was the main issue.... and we are still praying that brandon will not deploy.... we wont know for sure until about one november... a month before he would leave.... i would live with my parents if i did go.... but i REALLY dont want to do that..... oh well LOL i am only 20... still young :) i can do this ;)
