I have been thinking about adoption for years now. I have wanted to adopt for many reasons but now with 3 boys I have another reason. I would love a little girl. Right now my DH is NOT on board. He really doesn't want anymore children but our youngest is only 8 months so I think things will change in that dept. I can get pregnant and have another which is a blessing. Although pregnancy is difficult for me and my family since I am Type 1 diabetic. So for that reason I think I would like an international adoption. Perhaps somewhere in Latin America if possible. Can anyone help me know where to begin. I want to be ready if the time comes. Generally how long will it take? How much $? Will the process of adoption be time consuming and take away from my boys? Thanks mama's!
KOREAadopt
06-19-2008, 11:26 PM
I have been thinking about adoption for years now. I have wanted to adopt for many reasons but now with 3 boys I have another reason. I would love a little girl. Right now my DH is NOT on board. He really doesn't want anymore children but our youngest is only 8 months so I think things will change in that dept. I can get pregnant and have another which is a blessing. Although pregnancy is difficult for me and my family since I am Type 1 diabetic. So for that reason I think I would like an international adoption. Perhaps somewhere in Latin America if possible. Can anyone help me know where to begin. I want to be ready if the time comes. Generally how long will it take? How much $? Will the process of adoption be time consuming and take away from my boys? Thanks mama's!
Just some quick answers and very general as different countries have different rules...
It can be very time consuming, doctor appts. finger printing, homestudy, a lot of money 20-40K, and it can take up to 3 years depending the country. Now if you go the special needs way it would cost less and is much faster. Some children have minor needs like prematurity, cleft lip ect.
So cool your thinking about adoption!!! :goodvibes: Definetely hubby will have to be 100% on board before you decide to adopt! Also it does take awhile to adopt especially if you go the nonspecial needs route up to 2 years, the nice thing about it is the fees are spread apart so you don't have to come up with the money right away (I guess it is my way of saying don't wait too long :giggle: if you plan on a child sooner) it does take awhile. When you get your referral is when you need the country fee and that is the big chunk.
We adopted our DD off the holt waiting child board and from application to her coming home was 7 months! But that is very unusual. When we went to committee for her and we were chosen she was home in 5 months! Hope this doesn't get long and boring for you, but we first were going to go thru China until they told me the looooong wait and I got the HUGE BOOK for the dossier and I was sad to hear it would be years before I held my baby girl. SOOO I talked to a friend who adopted thru korea and she said the paperwork was so easy! I went on the waiting child website under korea and saw my baby girl! 2 other families were interested also, then 1 backed out and 1 still wanted her so the committee meets after talking with you and your hubby and talks about your family and who the child would fit better with. We were choosen, that day I was so happy but so sad for the other family who was told no I tried to put myself in thier place very hard emotional day. I could not imagine how it felt.
Since we didn't have any homestudy andything done the paperwork had to begin!!! We finished our homestudy in 2 months then waited for the immigration approval ect. She finally came home dec 26!
any specific questions PM me! :)
cravnp99
06-21-2008, 08:34 AM
Here's a few links to get you started...
http://www.theadoptionguide.com/
http://www.1-800-homestudy.com/adoption/index
http://www.adoption.com/
we did domestic and got our LO within 9 months of our "first thoughts about adoption"... but this is not typical and depends on how much time you put into a birthmother search yourself (if you wait for an agency to match you, it can take 1 - 3 years.) I don't know much about internations... we weren't interested in traveling to another country, esp. some require more than one visit and/or an extended stay. I don't know how people are able to take time away from work for that long.
As far as knowing if it's right for you... do some reading/research, pray about it and let God lead you (and your hubby) in the right direction. My dh wasn't 100% when we first talked about adoption, but when God placed a situation in front of us, surprisingly my dh was ready to jump in - that situation actually fell through, but we learned a lot about adoption and it better prepared us as a couple for our current LO. I think men take longer to come around because they are afraid they won't be able to love a child that isn't blood related. But as I'm sure you can imagine, once that child is in your home, it doesn't take long to fall in love!
KOREAadopt
06-21-2008, 02:12 PM
I don't know much about internations... we weren't interested in traveling to another country, esp. some require more than one visit and/or an extended stay. I don't know how people are able to take time away from work for that long.
!
Some countries do not make you travel, you can have the babies escorted. We had our baby escorted and we met the escort at the airport,it was such an emotional day. The nice thing for me, with international once the baby is in your arms the birthmother cannot change her mind and it is a done deal. Which was nice. I know with adoption their is a lot of things to consider and what is right for you may not be right for someone else, with international you will have a multiracial family. :goodvibes:
cravnp99
06-21-2008, 03:18 PM
Some countries do not make you travel, you can have the babies escorted. We had our baby escorted and we met the escort at the airport,it was such an emotional day. The nice thing for me, with international once the baby is in your arms the birthmother cannot change her mind and it is a done deal. Which was nice. I know with adoption their is a lot of things to consider and what is right for you may not be right for someone else, with international you will have a multiracial family. :goodvibes:
With domestic adoption you can do it so the baby is in foster care until parental rights are surrendered.... in both of our cases we took a legal risk placement, but most domestic adoptions can't be reversed unless there is proof of coresion or something was done illegally. The laws vary on state to state on how long the wait is between the birth of the child and when surrendars can be taken... and some have an addiitonal wait period that they can change their minds after surrendars are signed (but it's usually a complicated process to get it reversed)... some states it's 1-4 days, other places it's 30 - 90 days! So it just depends on the situation. Usually the problem comes in when the birthfather is kept out of the loop or another family member offers to adopt the baby.
Is there any other countries besides Korea that do escorts?... that's the only one I've heard of.
KOREAadopt
06-21-2008, 10:26 PM
Is there any other countries besides Korea that do escorts?... that's the only one I've heard of.
This may have changed or may not but Hong Kong, India, Romania, I think Guatemala. Thier may be more or less. Some only require one parent to travel.
CubanaYogini
06-22-2008, 10:42 PM
I know it sounds silly, but "Adoption for Dummies" is a very helpful book that will educate you on all aspects of adoption.
