hby
08-16-2008, 02:20 PM
Tucker Earl Yeager's Birth Story. Please be warned profanity in the story. As I was giving birth to Gregory on March 7, 2004 just as he came out I thought to myself I want another baby. I thought it must be hormones I wasn't thinking straight but that feeling never went away. In August of 2007 after many conversations of reminding ourselves how sick I get and how much of a sacrifice it would be we consciously conceived Tucker, here is his birth story.
Hi Everyone,
So, I finally got a quick minute to get on the computer for more than a quick glance. Tucker is 6 weeks now it goes by so fast it is not fair. You all know I had a miserable pregnancy like usual but I think this one was especially hard do to many factors. It was the beginning of April and I had started really having a lot of Braxton hicks ctx and since Jacob came 5 weeks early I am always paranoid about a preterm birth. I think it was around 36 or 37 weeks I had my midwife check to see if I was dilated and I was at 4cm so I was convinced I would have the baby early. Ha Ha the joke was on me. I spent the last weeks lying down a lot or taking hot showers. My boys rubbed my feet daily with lotion and I just waited for the moment.
We all were at our limits I think the boys without a normal Mother and Derek without a wife. All I could do was grow the baby. We all had been grouchy and to top it off after the flu in March it left me with dizziness so bad I couldn't drive so we were stuck at home until the weekends when Derek was off. Anyway, I kept thinking the baby will never come with all of this grouchy snappy energy in the house.
May 12th it seemed like everything was right Derek days off are Sunday and Monday. We had a great day working in the yard and cooking in the kitchen together and then we took the boys to the park and no one argued the whole time. The other thing is with the last two boys I have always burnt myself with food the night before labor I swear and sure enough during preparation of dinner I burnt myself LOL. We both laughed and said maybe tonight is the night.
Around 1:30 a.m. I went to the bathroom and felt a little pop but figured it was just my bones again and went back to bed exhausted. I figured if it was something it could wake me up otherwise I was going to sleep. At 2:30 a.m. I felt a pop and the sweet feeling of warm water rushing out. I jumped out of bed not wanting to get it everywhere. I woke Derek who was sleeping in another room (by the end of the pregnancy we were both snoring so loud neither of us could sleep so he volunteered to sleep in another room what a kind man) So, I told him my water had broke and it was clear. I said we should get everything set up and then go back to bed. Now that was so funny because I was such a nut most everything besides the water in the birth tub was already done. Derek said later that was the funniest thing I said all night (lets get ready and go back to bed) I didn't know I never had my water break first so I thought maybe it would be awhile LOL.
I called my midwife and said my water broke I will call you when things get going. Ha Ha that would be in 15 minutes!! I had about 3 contractions 5 minutes apart and just like the other births they were hard and long from the start so I called Pamela back and said please come. She had to come from Salem so I wanted her to come before I felt like pushing since it would take her about an hour to get here. I walked into the hallway bathroom with the light off and had a few contractions and thought what in the hell am I doing this for. I should go to the hospital get an epidural and call it good. I didn't have to do this I have a choice. Then I thought of my midwives and friends and then thought who cares. Derek came into check on me and I told him I wanted to go to the hospital in a very calm serious voice LOL it is so funny looking back because I thought for sure he would wimp out and take me. But no I even reminded him about our conversation that I could change my mind. He said no that I would be alright and left me. *$$**(#P#)*!! to fill the pool. So, then I thought ok get a grip Hattie you can do this.
I walked out to the living room where the changing table was and labor there hanging on it bent over for about 45 minutes. I kept looking at my phone to see what time it was and how far the ctx were. I finally stopped because they were like 1-2 minutes apart good grief I thought this is useless. I called Pamela to make sure she was coming I told her I was scared and felt like going to the hospital. She reassured me that my labor was just going super fast and she would be there soon. I called Lennon also making sure she was on her way. The whole time I was already very vocal with loud moaning and squatting. It was so cool I don't know how or when but Derek found all this stuff from my blessingway one thing I thought I had lost and set it in front of me so when I looked up between and during ctx I had something to look at. It really is all a blur it was going so fast. He was filling up the pool.
He finally got the pool filled with lukewarm water but at least it was filled. I got in and it was like heaven. I had been very ambivalent about using the pool but I am so glad I did. I just moved to where my body led me because I was on the crazy train of labor and just had to hold on. The thing I couldn't do was find a happy place in my mind I kept thinking I would go to the hospital. I did have ctx where I was thinking of something else but it just went back and forth. I know it seems dumb I had read, studied, researched, soul searched etc... for this birth for 4 years and when the big moment came I was mad and grouchy. I wasn't that way to anyone just in my mind but I thought I would find my happy spot and I couldn't. Even though it was all going as planned.
Pamela walked in at some point I think around 4:00 a.m. and I remember thinking I thought Lennon was going to be here first since she left first but then a ctx came and I didn't think about it again. Lennon checked the baby heart tones which were good and she was not invasive at all I barely knew she was doing it. They just set up and sat beside me and let me labor. I had wanted to do this by myself but with midwife care if I needed it. They were the perfect team for me. At some point I started to put my fingers in my vagina and pull up I guess like perineum support. I didn't think about it I just did it. It felt better. (Later Derek had said he was thinking I needed to take my hands away. I told him if he could of seen my whole bottom area was bulging out YIKES!!!) I think around 5 ish I felt Tucker's head and a little bit of cervix and thought O Yea he will be here any minute what a fricking idiot I am. I was having super hard pushy ctx by now and was like a wild animal I swear but the louder I was the better I felt. I went from moaning to more of a primal growling, grunting sound?? The boys had woke up by now but went to their tv room to wait. What angel boys. I guess at the end they were plugging their ears because I was so loud how funny. I was still mad but what could I do but ride the wave.
Things were getting super intense as if they could get anymore but they did. At some point I starting throwing up my dinner gross but cool (Derek said he thought the same thing LOL we were so meant for each other) I should have realized it would be soon but noooooo I am thinking I have 12 more hours or something???? With Gregory I got to the end and got a swollen cervical lip which I ended up with an intrathecal. So, after about a half hour I started freaking out in my mind thinking I was swelling because I could still feel the lip and I felt like I might burst during some of the ctx. During this time I kept thinking don't push and actually didn't with some panting through some. I was only pushing during the peak of a ctx but still I was worried. I told Pamela I was worried and she reassured me I was ok but I thought O **** You what do you know. I was getting really frustrated at one point I looked at my Keep Up the Fire plaque I had. I draw strength from military things and battles because I know if they can do it I can. Keep Up the Fire is a 20 almost 30 mile forced road march with full battle gear on that you have to do in a certain time. Derek has done it and has a belt buckle I always look at and draw strength from but at that moment in the middle of the ctx I thought screw all of those men in battle what the **** do they know they don't have to go through this they either have to live or die. LOL I know it sounds crazy but that is what I was thinking. I have to live through this no matter what. I looked at my blessingway beads and candles during one ctx that helped also. At least I knew all those ladies knew what I was going through.
I finally asked Lennon to check me to make sure I wasn't swelling she reassured me and talked to me about what she felt. I thought well **** I guess I have to do this. So, back to being an animal LOL. She had said he just has to get around the corner. I then really tried to focus on panting and not pushing thinking I just needed to give my cervix a break and thanks to the water was able to make some position changes I am sure I wouldn't have been able to do on land. Then this is the really funny part Pamela and I had talked about that at the end I would probably be screaming about going to the hospital she said her policy was if a Mother can get dressed and walk to the car she would go. I am sure I was probably within minutes of delivery but how did I know I could feel Tucker still up high. So, during a ctx I looked up and saw my nightgown I thought that is it I am getting my gown and walking out!!! So, after the ctx I sat up perfectly straight and said I am going to get in the car now. Pamela laughed and said I wouldn't make it. Of course she was right and I knew it I had been in my mind thinking it all through how I would get to the hospital and then they would have to check me strap me up etc... I would give birth before I would get an epidural. Why was I thinking about all of this stupid. One good thing was I was getting many nice breaks in between and that helped a lot. Can you imagine in the throws of labor and feeling good relaxing in between ctx.
So, after the car episode I thought when will this end I asked Lennon for my Bach remedies and I just opened my mouth for her to put them in. That was my final push to the end the next thing I know my sweet baby is coming down the shoot. I call for the boys. This takes my breath away and I am thinking he has a really round head. He comes down half way in my birth canal and then goes up a bit. I think O Hell no you are coming out little one this **** hurts. The stretching was like YIKES!! that huuuurrrrrtttttssss. So, I push him down and the next ctx I push his whole head out. Everyone was around me but I hadn't been able to say the baby was coming because I couldn't talk. I then said I might need help his head is out. They all came up to the pool edge and said OK. I remember being super calm feeling his head in the water. Then the next ctx came I sorta pushed down and out on his head and he came shooting out. I looked down and there was my baby. I scooped him up to my chest. It was about 5:57 a.m. three and half hours since the time my water broke my baby was born Tucker Earl Yeager.
This is the best part no nurses or doctors rushing to cut the cord and wisk off my baby to the NICU or Nursery. Just me and my baby. My sweet little baby I had done it. His cord was chubby and curly. It was pulsating strong and I knew my baby was OK. He just lay on my chest quiet and alert with his eyes open. Jacob cut the cord so sweet. After awhile not too long my placenta comes down which kinda shocked me because I didn't feel it coming until it was there. He had a ton of vernix and we were all creamy with it on us. I got out of the pool and went to the bed for a few minutes. I then went to take a nice hot shower. I just kept thinking and saying I did it can you believe it I did it.
Derek took the boys to Selene's because they were super excited and we needed it a little bit quieter. Pamela lay in my bay window Lennon on the floor and Tucker and I in bed and we all just dozed for awhile. It was one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced.
The next few days were very painful for me with my gigantic hemorroids yikes stupid things and I had a bit of a tear. My nipples were killing me and it was in the 90's burning up hot in the house. Derek stayed home for 5 days and took care of me. He was really so kind and encourage me to keep going. Now I was Keeping Up the Fire he just reminded me that the pain was weakness leaving the body. I love him so much what a great guy. Another funny story about Derek in this birth was at the end when everything was so intense I usually look in his eyes during the ctx or least I did in Gregory's birth. But not this time I tried twice to look now remember I was sounding like a growling wild animal LOL every time I looked his eyes would open super wide like O my are you OK. So I remember thinking well **** that isn't going to help. I thought that was funny. But he was wonderful.
Tucker and I had some breastfeeding issues that got my nipples cracked and bleeding but with Debbie Jensen LC and Benjamin Bell craniosacral therapist we finally are nursing comfortable. I say Tucker is like a kangaroo he was born and went straight to the nipple were he has stayed for 6 weeks now growing like a big boy. The boys absolutely love him and are the biggest help ever. Jacob said the other day I know Tucker is a baby and he needs more help. What a sweet boy. I missed the boys in the first few weeks when everything was so intense but now we have really gotten into a great rhythm again since I am not sick. I am always so amazed at how sick I get.
Well, that is my story not typed so great I am sure but that is that. Thank you to all of you who kept me in their thoughts and called me and encouraged me I love you all. As the baby grows I will have more time for the computer but for now I will not be on that much. I just got lucky today. Thank you for the gifts also.
Love,
Hattie
P.S. Although at the time I didn't think I had found my happy place during birth after reflection I know I had the perfect experience that I had always known I could have. Surrounded by my loving husband, boys, and midwife I listened to my body which enabled me to labor and give birth to my son. My midwives never intruded in my space they always encouraged me when I needed it and backed off when I needed that. I will always be grateful to them for allowing me to follow my instincts and listen to my body. They allowed me to feel like this was my pregnancy, labor and birth not theirs what a blessing it was to have them.
Hi Everyone,
So, I finally got a quick minute to get on the computer for more than a quick glance. Tucker is 6 weeks now it goes by so fast it is not fair. You all know I had a miserable pregnancy like usual but I think this one was especially hard do to many factors. It was the beginning of April and I had started really having a lot of Braxton hicks ctx and since Jacob came 5 weeks early I am always paranoid about a preterm birth. I think it was around 36 or 37 weeks I had my midwife check to see if I was dilated and I was at 4cm so I was convinced I would have the baby early. Ha Ha the joke was on me. I spent the last weeks lying down a lot or taking hot showers. My boys rubbed my feet daily with lotion and I just waited for the moment.
We all were at our limits I think the boys without a normal Mother and Derek without a wife. All I could do was grow the baby. We all had been grouchy and to top it off after the flu in March it left me with dizziness so bad I couldn't drive so we were stuck at home until the weekends when Derek was off. Anyway, I kept thinking the baby will never come with all of this grouchy snappy energy in the house.
May 12th it seemed like everything was right Derek days off are Sunday and Monday. We had a great day working in the yard and cooking in the kitchen together and then we took the boys to the park and no one argued the whole time. The other thing is with the last two boys I have always burnt myself with food the night before labor I swear and sure enough during preparation of dinner I burnt myself LOL. We both laughed and said maybe tonight is the night.
Around 1:30 a.m. I went to the bathroom and felt a little pop but figured it was just my bones again and went back to bed exhausted. I figured if it was something it could wake me up otherwise I was going to sleep. At 2:30 a.m. I felt a pop and the sweet feeling of warm water rushing out. I jumped out of bed not wanting to get it everywhere. I woke Derek who was sleeping in another room (by the end of the pregnancy we were both snoring so loud neither of us could sleep so he volunteered to sleep in another room what a kind man) So, I told him my water had broke and it was clear. I said we should get everything set up and then go back to bed. Now that was so funny because I was such a nut most everything besides the water in the birth tub was already done. Derek said later that was the funniest thing I said all night (lets get ready and go back to bed) I didn't know I never had my water break first so I thought maybe it would be awhile LOL.
I called my midwife and said my water broke I will call you when things get going. Ha Ha that would be in 15 minutes!! I had about 3 contractions 5 minutes apart and just like the other births they were hard and long from the start so I called Pamela back and said please come. She had to come from Salem so I wanted her to come before I felt like pushing since it would take her about an hour to get here. I walked into the hallway bathroom with the light off and had a few contractions and thought what in the hell am I doing this for. I should go to the hospital get an epidural and call it good. I didn't have to do this I have a choice. Then I thought of my midwives and friends and then thought who cares. Derek came into check on me and I told him I wanted to go to the hospital in a very calm serious voice LOL it is so funny looking back because I thought for sure he would wimp out and take me. But no I even reminded him about our conversation that I could change my mind. He said no that I would be alright and left me. *$$**(#P#)*!! to fill the pool. So, then I thought ok get a grip Hattie you can do this.
I walked out to the living room where the changing table was and labor there hanging on it bent over for about 45 minutes. I kept looking at my phone to see what time it was and how far the ctx were. I finally stopped because they were like 1-2 minutes apart good grief I thought this is useless. I called Pamela to make sure she was coming I told her I was scared and felt like going to the hospital. She reassured me that my labor was just going super fast and she would be there soon. I called Lennon also making sure she was on her way. The whole time I was already very vocal with loud moaning and squatting. It was so cool I don't know how or when but Derek found all this stuff from my blessingway one thing I thought I had lost and set it in front of me so when I looked up between and during ctx I had something to look at. It really is all a blur it was going so fast. He was filling up the pool.
He finally got the pool filled with lukewarm water but at least it was filled. I got in and it was like heaven. I had been very ambivalent about using the pool but I am so glad I did. I just moved to where my body led me because I was on the crazy train of labor and just had to hold on. The thing I couldn't do was find a happy place in my mind I kept thinking I would go to the hospital. I did have ctx where I was thinking of something else but it just went back and forth. I know it seems dumb I had read, studied, researched, soul searched etc... for this birth for 4 years and when the big moment came I was mad and grouchy. I wasn't that way to anyone just in my mind but I thought I would find my happy spot and I couldn't. Even though it was all going as planned.
Pamela walked in at some point I think around 4:00 a.m. and I remember thinking I thought Lennon was going to be here first since she left first but then a ctx came and I didn't think about it again. Lennon checked the baby heart tones which were good and she was not invasive at all I barely knew she was doing it. They just set up and sat beside me and let me labor. I had wanted to do this by myself but with midwife care if I needed it. They were the perfect team for me. At some point I started to put my fingers in my vagina and pull up I guess like perineum support. I didn't think about it I just did it. It felt better. (Later Derek had said he was thinking I needed to take my hands away. I told him if he could of seen my whole bottom area was bulging out YIKES!!!) I think around 5 ish I felt Tucker's head and a little bit of cervix and thought O Yea he will be here any minute what a fricking idiot I am. I was having super hard pushy ctx by now and was like a wild animal I swear but the louder I was the better I felt. I went from moaning to more of a primal growling, grunting sound?? The boys had woke up by now but went to their tv room to wait. What angel boys. I guess at the end they were plugging their ears because I was so loud how funny. I was still mad but what could I do but ride the wave.
Things were getting super intense as if they could get anymore but they did. At some point I starting throwing up my dinner gross but cool (Derek said he thought the same thing LOL we were so meant for each other) I should have realized it would be soon but noooooo I am thinking I have 12 more hours or something???? With Gregory I got to the end and got a swollen cervical lip which I ended up with an intrathecal. So, after about a half hour I started freaking out in my mind thinking I was swelling because I could still feel the lip and I felt like I might burst during some of the ctx. During this time I kept thinking don't push and actually didn't with some panting through some. I was only pushing during the peak of a ctx but still I was worried. I told Pamela I was worried and she reassured me I was ok but I thought O **** You what do you know. I was getting really frustrated at one point I looked at my Keep Up the Fire plaque I had. I draw strength from military things and battles because I know if they can do it I can. Keep Up the Fire is a 20 almost 30 mile forced road march with full battle gear on that you have to do in a certain time. Derek has done it and has a belt buckle I always look at and draw strength from but at that moment in the middle of the ctx I thought screw all of those men in battle what the **** do they know they don't have to go through this they either have to live or die. LOL I know it sounds crazy but that is what I was thinking. I have to live through this no matter what. I looked at my blessingway beads and candles during one ctx that helped also. At least I knew all those ladies knew what I was going through.
I finally asked Lennon to check me to make sure I wasn't swelling she reassured me and talked to me about what she felt. I thought well **** I guess I have to do this. So, back to being an animal LOL. She had said he just has to get around the corner. I then really tried to focus on panting and not pushing thinking I just needed to give my cervix a break and thanks to the water was able to make some position changes I am sure I wouldn't have been able to do on land. Then this is the really funny part Pamela and I had talked about that at the end I would probably be screaming about going to the hospital she said her policy was if a Mother can get dressed and walk to the car she would go. I am sure I was probably within minutes of delivery but how did I know I could feel Tucker still up high. So, during a ctx I looked up and saw my nightgown I thought that is it I am getting my gown and walking out!!! So, after the ctx I sat up perfectly straight and said I am going to get in the car now. Pamela laughed and said I wouldn't make it. Of course she was right and I knew it I had been in my mind thinking it all through how I would get to the hospital and then they would have to check me strap me up etc... I would give birth before I would get an epidural. Why was I thinking about all of this stupid. One good thing was I was getting many nice breaks in between and that helped a lot. Can you imagine in the throws of labor and feeling good relaxing in between ctx.
So, after the car episode I thought when will this end I asked Lennon for my Bach remedies and I just opened my mouth for her to put them in. That was my final push to the end the next thing I know my sweet baby is coming down the shoot. I call for the boys. This takes my breath away and I am thinking he has a really round head. He comes down half way in my birth canal and then goes up a bit. I think O Hell no you are coming out little one this **** hurts. The stretching was like YIKES!! that huuuurrrrrtttttssss. So, I push him down and the next ctx I push his whole head out. Everyone was around me but I hadn't been able to say the baby was coming because I couldn't talk. I then said I might need help his head is out. They all came up to the pool edge and said OK. I remember being super calm feeling his head in the water. Then the next ctx came I sorta pushed down and out on his head and he came shooting out. I looked down and there was my baby. I scooped him up to my chest. It was about 5:57 a.m. three and half hours since the time my water broke my baby was born Tucker Earl Yeager.
This is the best part no nurses or doctors rushing to cut the cord and wisk off my baby to the NICU or Nursery. Just me and my baby. My sweet little baby I had done it. His cord was chubby and curly. It was pulsating strong and I knew my baby was OK. He just lay on my chest quiet and alert with his eyes open. Jacob cut the cord so sweet. After awhile not too long my placenta comes down which kinda shocked me because I didn't feel it coming until it was there. He had a ton of vernix and we were all creamy with it on us. I got out of the pool and went to the bed for a few minutes. I then went to take a nice hot shower. I just kept thinking and saying I did it can you believe it I did it.
Derek took the boys to Selene's because they were super excited and we needed it a little bit quieter. Pamela lay in my bay window Lennon on the floor and Tucker and I in bed and we all just dozed for awhile. It was one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced.
The next few days were very painful for me with my gigantic hemorroids yikes stupid things and I had a bit of a tear. My nipples were killing me and it was in the 90's burning up hot in the house. Derek stayed home for 5 days and took care of me. He was really so kind and encourage me to keep going. Now I was Keeping Up the Fire he just reminded me that the pain was weakness leaving the body. I love him so much what a great guy. Another funny story about Derek in this birth was at the end when everything was so intense I usually look in his eyes during the ctx or least I did in Gregory's birth. But not this time I tried twice to look now remember I was sounding like a growling wild animal LOL every time I looked his eyes would open super wide like O my are you OK. So I remember thinking well **** that isn't going to help. I thought that was funny. But he was wonderful.
Tucker and I had some breastfeeding issues that got my nipples cracked and bleeding but with Debbie Jensen LC and Benjamin Bell craniosacral therapist we finally are nursing comfortable. I say Tucker is like a kangaroo he was born and went straight to the nipple were he has stayed for 6 weeks now growing like a big boy. The boys absolutely love him and are the biggest help ever. Jacob said the other day I know Tucker is a baby and he needs more help. What a sweet boy. I missed the boys in the first few weeks when everything was so intense but now we have really gotten into a great rhythm again since I am not sick. I am always so amazed at how sick I get.
Well, that is my story not typed so great I am sure but that is that. Thank you to all of you who kept me in their thoughts and called me and encouraged me I love you all. As the baby grows I will have more time for the computer but for now I will not be on that much. I just got lucky today. Thank you for the gifts also.
Love,
Hattie
P.S. Although at the time I didn't think I had found my happy place during birth after reflection I know I had the perfect experience that I had always known I could have. Surrounded by my loving husband, boys, and midwife I listened to my body which enabled me to labor and give birth to my son. My midwives never intruded in my space they always encouraged me when I needed it and backed off when I needed that. I will always be grateful to them for allowing me to follow my instincts and listen to my body. They allowed me to feel like this was my pregnancy, labor and birth not theirs what a blessing it was to have them.
