dh and i want to become foster parents. we have 1 child. 13mo old DD. any advice? we are in So indiana..... it has always been in my heart to foster children. we love children. we have been together 6 years (stable) & married for 2.5. drug tests and background checks are a waste of resources on us, kwim?
we have moved alot to find out where we fit in (we are 22 years old, moved 5times) and will be living in an apartment until we can afford our "home".
09-04-2008, 12:22 AM
I know some may disagree with me but many sw's in the field recommend keeping the birth order in your family, despite your dd being so little. By the time you would be doing the classes, getting your license etc, she will be a bit older and even more so in her place as the oldest in the family. I have seen and heard of some cases where it has worked out great for families to take in children older than their bio child (children), but it seems they often are few and far between. Our worker was talking to us about this and just saying how difficult it can be on your child to get attached to a new brother or sister and then have them leave so she was recommending that we just stick with our gut and only take in children that will be younger than our ds and that will have little chance of reunification with their birth families. For us this means a long wait but we are in this for the long haul. All that being said- older kiddos need great foster parents as any families aren't willing to take the chance on them. I can't wait to someday be able to take in older kids as they are my passion. Anyway, I'm blabbering on now but I totally recommend taking the classes your county has to offer- we are loving them and can't wait to continue the process.
09-04-2008, 11:16 AM
i have the plan to go work on a stash of all sizes just to be prepped. prefolds, snappis, covers. the cheapest way to go, multi purpose between ages and stages. i will get sposie versions of what sizes i need for parental visits, but if i have cloth versions on hand i will not have to worry about late night store runs for any diapers.
i have heard about children being moved and they arrived at the next foster family (or straight from the family) with the holey stained up clothes on their back and that's it.
i will take the advice of PP's on another thread when they said go to yardsales and build up a "stash" of cheap clothing in all sizes/genders.
i think that we will prolly do 4 and under, i don't want big kids, the abuse that they most likely suffered scares me that they could "act it out" on my DD when my head is turned. a toddler wouldn't know what they were doing, so i could deal with that. i'd actually prefer girls, but i don't think that i'd like to be that specific as i'm not sure that this will develop into an adoption situation as of this moment.
09-06-2008, 10:39 PM
I also recommend taking foster children younger than yours. You would be surprised at how parentified a 2 year old can be to her younger brother. Or what a child only months older than yours who has been parented differently or not very much will teach your child. There are young children needing homes even siblings. How many rooms are in your apartment? We can have a baby under 1 in with us after that we have to have different rooms for differant sexed children. You may need to only take girls until you have a room for a boy. I would meet with a few agencies and the state before deciding on which is the best fit for your family.