CIO how long*update*??

[TaraDee]

9/19/08
OMG... she fell asleep at 11pm in her swing (i know she's too old for it, don't ask) slept there for 1 hour & then I was able to transfer her to her crib w/ NO WAKING and she slept all the way till 8am w/o waking... WOOHOO!!! :lostit:

I feel like I could just possibly climb a mountian w/ all this sleep I got......uh..wait a minute...LOL :roflmbo:

She was super snuggly this morning not the usually pop outta bed kid.... so either she's still sleepy or getting sick...:giggle:

-----------------------
how long would you let a 13mo CIO??

this is KILLING ME!! :cry: :cry:

[shelbell]

I would not let a 13mo cio. :hugs: It would break my heart.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Not at all.

[I Smile Because Of Them]

If you have to absolutely have to let him CIO, do it slowly. Very slowly. Start with 5 minutes. Go in every 5 minutes, comfort him, and leave him, and keep going in every 5 minutes until he calms down. Why do you want to let him CIO?

[rmbrasher]

Are you talking about the Ferber method to go to sleep? We tried that with one of our kids, and it was super hard, and I don't know if it was worth it. I think, though, that you were only supposed to let the baby cry a couple minutes and come back in and calmly tell him to go to sleep and then leave? I don't know- that was awhile ago.

[TaraDee]

thats what we do... a few minutes, go back in, rub backs, lay down etc... she won't even lay down the crib... standing and screaming.....

I posted another post last night explaining she'll sleep ANYWHERE else but the crib.....

and nobody sleeps in this house because she won't... I'm at a loss..... it too is breaking my heart, I'm beyond tired......and so is she... :( I'm not cut out to be a co-sleeping parent... I need her to sleep in her crib - at least start the night out there.....

[LilyGrace]

Your instincts are there for a reason. How would you like to be put in a cage and everyone ignoring you? Golden rule, mama. It applies to children, too.

Don't control, help.

[BeckyP]

2 mins tops. With DD we put her to bed and if she crys we go back in and make sure she is ok then tell her again Night Night and lay her back down. Some nights it takes a couple tries but she gets tired enough that she will go back to sleep. I also tell her the same thing when she wakes at night or when she wakes up at like 4am and thinks its time to get up.

[JustAugust]

I'm not pro-CIO, but I do think some kids need more "help" learning to sleep than others. For my son, I let him cry 10 minutes then if he was still very upset I would go in and comfort him by whatever means he needed (short of feeding since he was not hungry), and repeat. The first few night were hard, but after that he started sleeping longer stretches. I think as parents it's our job to help our kids learn to self-soothe as well. It doesn't mean letting them scream forever by any means, but I wanted me son to learn it was okay to calm himself, that mom was here when he needed me, but that it was okay to settle himself down as well. He had 2 comfort items so it wasn't like he was completely alone in the dark, etc. And he didn't sleep through the night until he was over 2 years old, so it wasn't like I was expecting that, I just wanted him to help put himself to sleep, that's all. The periods of sleep got longer and longer over time, it was gradual, and it was gentle. There weren't any hour long cryfests, etc.

[I Smile Because Of Them]

thats what we do... a few minutes, go back in, rub backs, lay down etc... she won't even lay down the crib... standing and screaming.....

I posted another post last night explaining she'll sleep ANYWHERE else but the crib.....

and nobody sleeps in this house because she won't... I'm at a loss..... it too is breaking my heart, I'm beyond tired......and so is she... :( I'm not cut out to be a co-sleeping parent... I need her to sleep in her crib - at least start the night out there.....

Where is her crib? Is she sharing a room with someone? Or is she in a room all on her own? Does she just not fall asleep? Or does she wake up throughout the night and not want to go back to sleep?

[thefragile7393]

I wouldn't. That's not what you want to hear I know, but I wouldn't. I couldn't. A child does not understand why they are being left. I would hate to be forced to sleep in something I didn't want to. She's making it clear she dosn't like her crib and if she hates it, she won't sleep in it and she needs to be listened to. My son hated (and still does) his crib. He will sleep just about anywhere BUT in it. If she sleeps anywhere but her crib, then surely there must be somewhere else she will sleep....maybe nearby but not with you in bed. Mattress on the floor of a room perhaps? Her room, your room, anywhere? Futon?

[JeDeeLenae]

I suggest the Sleep Lady Shuffle. http://www.sleeplady.com/am_slumber.htm

I don't think I could do CIO

[Juliet's_Momma]

I have a 20 month old currently.. and the only way we could get her to sleep is by doing the 5, 10, 15 min. CIO method. This was around your DD's age. We definately couldn't co-sleep either. We all sleep better in our rooms/beds. I'd say it took a couple of days for her to get it. Like a week? There were definately times when we thought of just giving up, but if you stick with it, it works. It did for us. She also sleeps with a pacifier, blankie and however many stuffed animals she needs that night. A night light, and sometimes she'll ask for a book, which she'll just fall asleep with in her arms. She's now sleeping in a converted crib to a toddler bed, and we just put up a baby gate at her door to keep her from wandering around in the middle of the night.

HTH Mama :hug:

[TaraDee]

thank you all for your input

to clarify - there are no hour long cryfests in our house either - and I don't feel I'm putting her in a cage and ignoring her either.

my intentions is the same as a previous poster.... she needs to learn to self soothe.... and self soothe in her bed. NOT MINE

I know this is a hot topic; and there are many co-sleeping moms; but there are many that are not... I hope that everyone can respect each others opinions that are different and support each other as moms and the struggles we go through.

thanks again.

[TaraDee]

Where is her crib? Is she sharing a room with someone? Or is she in a room all on her own? Does she just not fall asleep? Or does she wake up throughout the night and not want to go back to sleep?

We rock her to sleep usually and then when attempting to put her in her bed, she senses the laying down part and wakes up immediately.... we let her CIO for 5 mins then back in and rock again, falls dead alseep, snoring and all.... go to lay her down.... wakes up immediately... we did this over and over countless times last night from 10pm until 2:30 is finally when my DH put her down and she didn't wake up..... its like she's not in a deep enough sleep to be put down.

she is in a room by herself; she has napped in their alone, recently. we have a night light and there is a twin bed in there. I've even tried laying down on the bed w/ my pillow and blankie and attempted to sleep in there so she's not alone. We have a sound machine (crickets, white noise etc) also.....

I'm just at a loss as to how to get over this hurdle..... I guess keep doing it over and over...and it will become easier I guess.

[ChloeNAydensmom]

thank you all for your input

to clarify - there are no hour long cryfests in our house either - and I don't feel I'm putting her in a cage and ignoring her either.

my intentions is the same as a previous poster.... she needs to learn to self soothe.... and self soothe in her bed. NOT MINE

I know this is a hot topic; and there are many co-sleeping moms; but there are many that are not... I hope that everyone can respect each others opinions that are different and support each other as moms and the struggles we go through.

thanks again.

:goodvibes: I by no means like to hear my children cry but sometimes you just got to do it. My DD is not old enough to do that yet (just turned 5 months) but my DS when he was younger, I knew he could sleep through the night, but all of a sudden he was waking up again for no reason. I ended up having to let him CIO and I only had to do it one night luckily because he got the hint the first time.

Did you try Co-sleeping and that is why she doesn't want her crib or has she never liked it? I know a lot of times if you Co-Sleep with a child they get used to it and don't want their crib (that is why I wont do it, I need my space when sleeping, I don't even want DH near me)

I'd say just try it a few nights in a row?:hugs:

[mom2LBJ]

Have you tried side caring her crib as a transition just to help her get used to it?

[I Smile Because Of Them]

What about putting her down awake? I know DS cannot be put to sleep. He has to fall asleep on his own and he stays asleep. I put him in his crib, and walk out. He doesn't cry, he just rolls over and falls right to sleep. Try putting her down awake and letting her fall asleep on her own.

[LilyGrace]

We rock her to sleep usually and then when attempting to put her in her bed, she senses the laying down part and wakes up immediately.... we let her CIO for 5 mins then back in and rock again, falls dead alseep, snoring and all.... go to lay her down.... wakes up immediately... we did this over and over countless times last night from 10pm until 2:30 is finally when my DH put her down and she didn't wake up..... its like she's not in a deep enough sleep to be put down.

One of the tips in the No Cry Sleep Solution is to put them down drowsy, but still awake. There's less of a freakout during the transition then and they learn to fall asleep laying down instead of relying on you. It goes along with do the same thing every time you put her to sleep, no matter if it's 8pm or 2am, so she has a routine to count on.

Anyhow, it really does help. And you just repeat as necessary. The times get shorter as she gets used to the new program. Oh, and jersey sheets are a LIFESAVER if you don't already have them! The t-shirt material doesn't feel as cold as polished cotton to a sleepy body, so no cold shock jolting her awake as she's trying to sleep. You can also try a heating pad in the crib as you rock her, too, removing it right before you lay her down.

And I'm sorry, mama. My last post was way out of line. :blush:



ETA: How are her molars?

[Mommabean]

My son hated his crib too. We did cosleep for a while but when I couldn't do it anymore (he was a bed hog) I just threw a regular mattress on the floor in his room (started about 14 months). I lay with him to fall asleep then I get up and go to my room. Believe it or not, this helped him learn to sleep better on his own. He felt secure in falling asleep because I was with him, and then slept for longer stretches because he went to sleep comfortablly and didn't have anyone moving around next to him. It took another month or two of this before he stopped waking in the night, but even immediately the wakings were drastically reduced. I would go with what your baby is telling you -hates the crib and wants to be close to you. We found this method to really work out well for us. My son likes his room now and that's where he wants to go when tired. And I don't mind the half hour or so of laying together and cuddling til he falls asleep, then I still get my own bed all night - best of both worlds.

[Computermama]

I use the baby monitor and the winnie the pooh soother for my 11 month old. I brush her teeth and hair, read her a book, sing her a short song, and then tell her I love her, kiss her good night, put her down in her bed and put a blanket over her. I press the button, and the sounds and light play for 15 minutes. Some nights, she's just wiped out and doesn't say a peep. Other nights she fusses. I never let the fussing escalate to real crying, and if the 15 minutes expire and the music stops and she's still fussing I go in and check on her - that almost always means there's something else wrong. It was extremely hard at first, but she seems to understand the routine and that it's time to sleep. She's just a very social child. If there's people around, she wants to interact with them. She doesn't want to sleep, and will fight it with everything she has if she can see other people. But obviously, being social, sometimes she doesn't want to be left alone - thus the fussing.

[*Aimee*]

I don't do cry it out at all. But I do have some suggestions that may help. We coslept with DS1 until 18 months, put his crib in OUR room, and then moved him into it. He was happy because he had all the same sights, sounds, smells. There were some times he'd cry and I'd just tell him no, give him big hugs, and lay him back down.

Could you try putting her crib in your room?

[SarahLiz]

oh Tara...I'm sorry you're going through this too!!! Our daughters are the same age, and it sounds like the same personality! DD does exactly what your DD does, only she has to be nursed to sleep, and she will SCREAM if she doesn't get what she wants. We've tried everything, and unless it's my boobs, she just does.not.sleep. No advice for you, obviously, but let me know if you figure out something that works! And I'll definately be holding a good thought for you, that it works out quickly and quietly :)

[Rachaelbee]

What about putting her down awake? I know DS cannot be put to sleep. He has to fall asleep on his own and he stays asleep. I put him in his crib, and walk out. He doesn't cry, he just rolls over and falls right to sleep. Try putting her down awake and letting her fall asleep on her own.

That is what we do too, I learned the hard way with my oldest by rocking her to sleep for too long, now once they start having their last bottle/bf'ing and not falling asleep right after, I lay them down, so they get used to putting themselves to sleep. With my first, we had a big struggle even though she liked the crib. I did let her cry for very short periods of time, but mostly I had to lay her down and then rub her back until she relaxed, she just wanted to know that I was there even if I wasn't holding her, then once she dozed off I could leave the room. and gradually I was able to do it less and less, until I could just lay her down.

[OneFabMama]

Maybe get her her own toddler bed? Maybe she is afraid of the crib, and if she'll sleep anywhere but her crib...it may work.

(didnt read all the posts)

[MadeInChina]

so sorry mama....it's so hard to hear our babies cry!
But I'm a true believer in teaching them to soothe themselves to sleep. we put dd down awake and she falls asleep on her own. could you try that one night? put her down drowsy?
that's all I have to suggest. but I just wanted to encourage you and tell you to stick with it. I think the 5 min...then 10 min... idea is good. start off slow though. she'll get there. it might just take longer than you'd like.
:thumbsup:

[babybelle02]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It is so hard to know what is best. We can't co-sleep either. It just doesn't work for us. DD sleeps much better when she's in her own room/bed and so do we. What worksfor me was to let her cry for a few minutes at a time and then check on her intermittently until she falls asleep. I sing to her or rub her back until she calms down. Also, if she falls asleep on her own, she usually stays asleep. It's when we rock or feed her until she sleeps that we run into problems.

[ChloeNAydensmom]

My son hated his crib too. We did cosleep for a while but when I couldn't do it anymore (he was a bed hog) I just threw a regular mattress on the floor in his room (started about 14 months). I lay with him to fall asleep then I get up and go to my room. Believe it or not, this helped him learn to sleep better on his own. He felt secure in falling asleep because I was with him, and then slept for longer stretches because he went to sleep comfortablly and didn't have anyone moving around next to him. It took another month or two of this before he stopped waking in the night, but even immediately the wakings were drastically reduced. I would go with what your baby is telling you -hates the crib and wants to be close to you. We found this method to really work out well for us. My son likes his room now and that's where he wants to go when tired. And I don't mind the half hour or so of laying together and cuddling til he falls asleep, then I still get my own bed all night - best of both worlds.
That sounds like a good idea.:thumbsup:

[TaraDee]

Thank you all... I'll try and answer/touch on all the topics posted.

We've tried the put her down drowsy... instant flip over stand up (like a jack in the box.... its amazing!!!) screaming ....wont take the binki or bottle... mad, mad, mad.....then she gets her self going even more upset.... never even the slightest bit of slow down in the crying like when they get sleepy...... I wonder how long she'll go... I've only let it go a total of 15 minutes w/ intermintant checking, rubbing back, attempting to get her to lay down.... whoa... so tiring.

The toddler bed...will be reserved for a possibility, but I'm not ready for that, I really need her containted for piece of mind... she's a quick mover... I've never been able to trust her on our bed...she heads for the edge immediately after waking up and we (DH & I) aren't fast movers in the morning so its difficult..... although we have a twin bed already in her room and intended to move her directly to that when she's about 2ish, hoping we'd have another little one that needed the crib by then.

She had been in our room up til 10 months old...we moved her from our bedroom in the crib to her own room then...so this isn't a new situation.... although she has done a bit of on and off co sleeping w/ us over the last several months... this is the first full blown crib strike we've dealt with....

not sure on the molars, but i'll stick my finger in there tonight :)

sigh.... off to try it again tonight...... hope to get her to bed in less than 4 hours...it would be an improvement from last night :thumbsup:

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

Not at all.

Same here.

[baby1577]

just wanted to offer some :hugs: i hope tonight is better!